How did ante natal classes make you feel?

[GingerbreadPudding]

Went to a series is NHS ante natal classes this weeks got NCT ones in January - due end of jan.

I was really pleased at how pro-natural the midwives leading the sessions were but I could feel that they found themselves in opposition with the doctors at times e.g. The midwives weren't keen on induction - doctors seemed to want to hurry things along, the midwives liked delayed cord cutting - the doctors didn't etc. they said several times that it was up to the birthing mother to stand her ground if she wanted to avoid induction, have skin to skin after a caesarean, not to have the injection for delivery of the placenta etc.

I felt quite anxious about having to be stubborn with doctors. Normally I'm a very stubborn old bird, but when you're vulnerable and scared you want to be able to trust someone 'in the know'. The midwives said doctors are so worried about being used, which I totally understand, that they make decisions based on this fear.

I came away thinking that I would go for a home birth. We are having a doula and we are only a very short drive from the hospital..

I'd be really interested in what your experience of classes was?

[GingerbreadPudding]

Doctors worried about being sued (not used, sorry)

[OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse]

Well I found them extremely irritating and biased. Personally. I did NHS and NCT (overkill for PFB DD1 ) and really I found them terrible.

For instance, I find it concerning that your NHS classes seem to have have given the message that midwives = good and doctors = bad, and that doctors will make decisions not based on what is best for the patient but will do whatever they like for reasons other than what is best for the pateint and you will have to fight them. That's a terrible message to give pregnant women! And much in accord with my classes which is what annoyed me about them.

[OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse]

Sorry re-read and saw you did NHS and NCT (same as me!) so don't know which or both gave that message.

IME and with my actual births, I found the doctors wonderful compassionate and kind and the midwives, well not so much! But everyone's experiences are different.

[GwenaelleLaGourmande]

Also concerned that the mws are pitting themselves against the doctors bsurely they are supposed to be a team?! Part of the team not always necessary, albeit, but they are both supposed to be on the side of getting baby out with least harm to mum or baby as possible.

[OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse]

God I can't read today! NCT are at the end of jan you haven't been yet. Sorry for totally not managing to comprehend your quite clear post

[GingerbreadPudding]

The NCT ones are in January, the NHS ones were this week.

The midwives said the doctors were amazing when there was a problem but didn't have enough experience of normal delivery which meant they tended towards intervention when actually leaving things to unfold might often be the best course.

I'm not at all criticising these midwives, in fact I was very impressed by them. The classes did leave me anxious about possibly having to 'stand my ground' when, to be honest, I want to be able to focus inward and trust in those around me to make good decisions on my behalf.

[OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse]

And sometimes the midwives don't get a doctor when they really ought as they don't want to "lose" that patient away from the midwife led births and onto the doctor births type thing.

I'm sure it was the midwife who told me to come for induction as well, TBH, although it was a few years back and so memory is sketchy.

You just decide what sort of birth you want to aim for, and leave the professionals to do their stuff, I think. The fact of the midwife telling you that you are going to have to fight doctors when you are in labour is out of line. The doctors don't get called unless things are going tits up anyway. Most likely you won't see one. And if you do surely the midwife should work with them.

I find this scenario that they have painted for you really inappropriate for an ante natal class TBH (but am not surprised).

[Lottiedoubtie]

It is scary, and inappropriate that the doctors and MWs don't work together,

But sadly good preparation for reality as I experienced it (have a 3month old).

I did have to fight the doctors for the birth I and three MW's (two senior) felt was best for me and baby. I had the birth I wanted in the end and wholeheartedly believe those MWs were right. I found the doctors (one in particular) hugely patronising, rude and arrogant.

It shouldn't be the case that the doctor reduces you to tears and hectors you in the most patronising way for 20 mins until the MW works up the courage to say, 'you are dealing with a degree educated patient here, perhaps you could listen to her questions properly'...

It really really shouldn't be like that.

[funchum8am]

I did NCT classes which didn't really distinguish between mws and doctors particularly but did say you might need to stand your ground if you wanted something non standard eg refusing induction.

In the end I wish I had stood up to the two rude uncaring mws I encountered when being induced. All the others and all the docs were fab but I lodged a complaint against those two for refusing me pain relief. Full written apology so I must have had a point!

What I am trying to say is be prepared to stand up for yourself if necessary, whether to doctors or mws, and don't trust them blindly because their protocols are (very sensibly) based on what has tended to lead to the highest % of good outcomes for thousands of women in studies conducted by experts, but this doesn't mean they are always right for every individual. Hopefully you will have excellent, caring staff who have time to listen to you and act on your preferences, but don 't doubt yourself if you feel something is not right - insist on clear info so you can make the right decisions for you and your baby.