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Pregnancy

Toddler at scan?

21 replies

ThisBitchIsResting · 30/10/2014 11:06

I have a private viability scan booked (8.5 wks, previous mc) I have a 3yo, anyone know if it will be a problem to have her in room? It's at the FMC. I don't have childcare so don't want to call to check in case they say no! If I turn up with her they can't not let us in?

OP posts:

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TheHermitCrab · 30/10/2014 11:13

I'm on my first child myself, but whenever I go for a scan, The waiting room is always full of families and toddlers, who go in with the mums or mums and dads. By default it should be a child friendly place I guess :)

I think the only downside to having children about is the fact that some people may have to deal with difficult or upsetting news sometimes, and obviously having a child or toddler about may make things a bit harder.

Is it an internal scan? That would be the only other pickle, that you can't supervise while you are otherwise engaged yourself ;)

I wouldn't worry :) can't see anyone telling you off!

freelancegirl · 30/10/2014 11:18

I've been to the FMC lots and have seen people there with children sometimes but the majority go without and I have always left my toddler at home (with someone else of course :) ). But it would seem they don't have any rules about not allowing them.

I would say, having had several miscarriages myself, that it would be best not to have toddler there in case it is bad news. But if you have no choice I guess you will have to keep a strong front for the sake of the toddler. Hopefully that won't happen though and it will all be fine! If it were me and I really had no choice I would try to make sure my toddler was not aware as to why we were there. But scans after previous losses can be pretty stressful experiences. Good luck!

MrsLovell · 30/10/2014 12:04

I had my 12 week scan this week at my local hospital, on the appointment letter I got it said explicitly that children must not come to the scan as the staff can't look after them and in case it's bad news and you get upset and had difficult questions to ask.
If your appointment letter didnt say this and you have no other choice then I guess it would be ok, but if you can leave them somewhere else I think this would be better. I hope the outcome is good for you though, good luck!

Heels99 · 30/10/2014 12:09

Likely to be internal scan. Don't take toddler, they usually say not to bring children.
I disagree with previous poster that ante natal units and scans should by definition be toddler friendly.they are hospitals not play centres.

Littlefrenchmummy · 30/10/2014 12:14

I had my 3 yo son at one of my scans. I had no choice at the time and thats when we found out we were having identical twins and I wished he hadn't been there as it was so filled with emotion and he kept asking questions bless him.

I had a 12 week scan before that, it was meant to be so exciting and it turns out the baby had no heart beat. At the time i didn't have my little boy but it would have been traumatic for him to see our reaction.

If you do have an option, try not bringing him :)

ThisBitchIsResting · 30/10/2014 12:36

Thanks all. I do need to take her as no childcare option. DH will be there so if it's bad news he will just have to take DD out of the room or something.

Hopefully will be ok, it won't stop us worrying for the whole pregnancy I don't think, even if it is good news, pregnancy after miscarriage is a scary thing.

OP posts:

cuphat · 30/10/2014 12:45

We had an early scan and took our daughter as we don't have childcare. It was fine (and also they managed to do it abdominally at 7+5).

When I booked my 12 week scan I asked if we could bring her and the hospital said that it's fine.

TheHermitCrab · 30/10/2014 12:50

Heels - there is a difference between a creche and somewhere being child friendly, I never said it was a place for children to play, run about or run amok, just that they obviously know there will be families, and people who already have children and that they will accommodate for.

For instance my scans are in the women and new born centre, there are women, children, people breastfeeding and families around the place including the antenatal clinic. They look after their own children and don't treat it as a creche, like most sensible people.

Heels99 · 30/10/2014 12:54

But they don't accommodate them do they? They tell you not to bring them to scans.

TheHermitCrab · 30/10/2014 12:57

Heels who is they? As the lady mentioned she wouldn't be asking if she was informed one way or another, and only one lady so far has contributed that her letter asked her not to bring children.

Everywhere is different, the waiting room where I have my scans has some toys and children's books on the coffee tables and "breast feeding friendly" posters up along the walls, so gives out quite the opposite message to me.

baby5ontheway · 30/10/2014 13:02

I think ir depends on how you think you will cope if it is bad news. I had my first scan on tuesday and its half term so I had all my 4 children with me, I explained to my eldest 3 that they only allow 2 ppl in the scan room so that would be my husband and my youngest child (he's 2) . I was happy to let my eldest 3 (11,10,7) play in the childrens area of the waiting room, when she called me through the sonographer asked if my other 3 were coming in, so even tho it said on my appt 2 pll only in the room, they allow for other children if you have them with you :)

WhyOWhyWouldYou · 30/10/2014 13:06

Heels in my experience they are perfectly happy to have children there so long as they don't run riot and are capable of being quite in the scan room. DS has been present at our previous 5 scans (first time he was only 6.5months - it was a mmc, the other 4 he's been around 2.5yrs old). Both of those hospitals were more than happy for him to be present, so long as he was quiet in the room and didn't run riot in the waiting area.

SoonToBeSix · 30/10/2014 13:10

I took three on my children yesterday 3 year old and 8 month old twins. I didn't bring my two year old because he would be noisy or my ten year old in case of bad news.
It was fine, only certain hospitals don't allow children and you would be told in advance.

freelancegirl · 30/10/2014 13:11

Everywhere IS different and I think most places do prefer it if you don't bring children - for a start it is not just about us having the scan, it is about other people having their scans and possibly receiving bad news too. Also there is often a long wait and that's not great for the toddler or everyone else waiting!

Am I the only one here that has actually been to FMC though? It's a private Harley St clinic and slightly different to the NHS hospital scans (I have had plenty of both private and NHS scans). Like I said above I DO sometimes see other children at FMC (admittedly not many as I think people are generally aware it's not a great time to bring them along) but it must indicate that they are ok with it to a certain extent. Scary though it is to go on your own I always leave DS with DH so I don't have to put him/me through it unless it is key scans such as the 12 week and 20 week. But I understand why you might want to take your DH with you.

One thing I would say is it would probably be best if you go in to the actual scan on your own at first then bring DH and toddler in after you know there is a heartbeat - rather than your suggestion of taking toddler out if there is a problem. Might be easier for everyone.

weeblueberry · 30/10/2014 15:06

Every private scan I've been to have been happy to have children there. In fact they have toys in the scan room to keep them entertained (and with this pregnancy the sonographer actually said she'd love to meet our wee one because she did the early scan, gender scan and 4D scan on her last time!!).

However, I personally wouldn't ever take her. At an early scan, 12 week or 20 week there's always the potential for bad news and frankly I couldn't imagine how I'd handle hearing it if she were cooing away and singing and generally making noise in the background. I'd want to ask questions and have the place as quiet as possible and that would be hard with a toddler. Well, mine anyway. Although there might quite often be toddlers and young children in the waiting room you don't know what stage the mother is at who's being scanned. I'd happily have her at a 4D scan to meet her little sister for the first time but a scan where there's a potential for heartbreaking news? Not so much.

I agree with those who have said if they're happy to have her in the room then at least go in and make sure all is okay before having her in.

TarkaTheOtter · 30/10/2014 15:10

I took dd to most of my scans but I really didn't have childcare as dh was working away. Could your dh not sit with her if children aren't allowed?

ThisBitchIsResting · 30/10/2014 20:42

Hello, thanks for replies.

Scan was fine, little bean with a visible heartbeat

They were absolutely fine with DD coming in, it wasn't an issue at all. There were two lovely doctors / sonographers there and they both gushed over her and made her feel as welcome and comfortable as they did DH and of course me. DH held her and pointed out various things in the room whilst keeping a beady eye on the screen, it was good news and we could all relax. She was very curious but DH kept her out of the way and she wasn't noisy or distracting in the slightest - they got all the measurements done no problem and were chatting away to me throughout about all sorts to do with the baby and DD.

Just to reassure anyone else planning to use the FMC.

Of course if we'd had any childcare options we would have used them - it wasn't a fun day trip for DD - but if it's necessary to take a child along, rest assured it won't cause any issues at all.

OP posts:

ColdTeaAgain · 30/10/2014 20:46

I advise against bringing children of any age if it can be avoides as if there is bad news it makes the situation all the more difficult to deal with. However, as long as you come prepared for that possibility and if your DH is happy to take DC out if they get too noisy then that would be fine with me.

Its the ones that expect me to concentrate on doing their anomaly scan while their children scream/play noisy games on someones phone/climb onto the couch that never cease to amaze me!

ColdTeaAgain · 30/10/2014 20:52

Glad it all went well OP

AGnu · 30/10/2014 20:53

Congratulations!

I had to take DS1 at about 18m to a growth scan. He'd paid no attention to the pregnancy & I'd not even explained to him why we had to go to the hospital but as soon as the picture appeared on the screen he said, very matter of factly, "There's the baby." Everyone just stared at him open-mouthed! I didn't think he'd even registered that there was a baby, let alone would recognise the image on the screen!

cheesecakemom · 30/10/2014 21:40

I took my dd with her iPad the Nhs sonographer was furious and very horrible to me. My dd was quiet and had headphones. DH had to be away and it wasn't a nursery day.

All the private ones I've had have been fine - no issues with DD being there.

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