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For those of you that loathed pregnancy, did you find having a small baby better?

(33 Posts)
Gennz Wed 03-Sep-14 23:22:52

I am 28 weeks on Monday. I haven't been hospitalised or anything, but have generally found pregnancy quite unpleasant - I vomited every morning up to 23 weeks, had a 3 week pause and now it's started up again; the heartburn is started to get resally unpleasant; I'm up several times a night to wee and the vomming isn't really helping my pelvic floor control either; I'm really starting to feel sick & tired all the time; I'm struggling lumbering round with the extra weight and really miss my pre-pregnancy wine quaffing self. I feel a bit trapped in my own body to be honest.

I know I sound really whingy cos I am and the baby seems to be really healthy so I know I'm really lucky in that regard, but I keep thinking maybe having him out of me will be a relief? I know it will be full on and I won't get a lot of sleep, but at least I won't feel sick all the time and DH can help out!

Am I deluded or is this possibility? <crossing fingers and toes>

Notfastjustfurious Wed 03-Sep-14 23:29:50

Babies - like farts - are better out than in. I hated being pregnant for all the pains, kicks, discomfort and the fear of getting her out. Having a baby although still tiring is much better, you can roll over in bed and keep your lunch down and get someone else can carry her. Add to that baby smiles and what's not to love.

SoonToBeSix Wed 03-Sep-14 23:33:26

I was convinced being a mum of twins could not possible be as hard as being pregnant with twins. Turns out I was wrong.
But with one baby, then yes it's better.

JassyRadlett Wed 03-Sep-14 23:34:37

Much, much better. And mine had feeding problems and reflux.

Pregnancy was fucking grim.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Wed 03-Sep-14 23:36:28

Oh lord yes. I had pre-natal depression. Couldn't deal with my body. DS was no picnic, but it was all 100% when he was born.

basgetti Wed 03-Sep-14 23:36:59

I had a horrendous first pregnancy and the second I gave birth I felt better, that is no exaggeration. I remember my parents coming to visit me in hospital less than 12 hours after I'd given birth and they were shocked I looked healthier than I had for months. I found the newborn stage far easier than being pregnant.

I'm currently nearly 25 weeks into an even worse pregnancy, and I'm hoping the relief will be the same. I'm concerned about the possibility of PND this time though as I'm feeling so low at the moment, and there is also no guarantee of how labour will go, but I'm holding out hope that it will be like last time.

Hope you start to feel better soon.

HoorayHenri Wed 03-Sep-14 23:41:38

It honestly depends on the baby. If I'm honest, having DC1 was a massive shock and made pregnancy seem like a spa holiday. She was a nightmare to feed and didn't sleep though. Being pregnant with DC2 with another baby (and a job) was something else entirely. He seemed pretty easy after that! Keep your expectations set to 'hardest thing I've ever done' and then if you have the textbook baby you'll be laughing.

Gennz Wed 03-Sep-14 23:42:21

THANK YOU all so much!! This is great news! I was scared I was deluding myself.

LonnyVonny is pre-natal depression a Thing? I think I have it. Spent all yesterday bawling my eyes out, wailing "I hate this" in between vomiting and napping.

Gennz Wed 03-Sep-14 23:43:33

Definitely Hooray I'm assuming it will be horrific - the first 6 weeks at least - so anything better than that will all be gravy.

pinkteapots Thu 04-Sep-14 07:43:24

I was always glad to have baby out, no matter the lack of sleep, stitches, whatever. I had pnd last time. Ive toddlers and no rest. Time is creeping so slowly. But Ive my eye on the birth! After that I always find myself on the up! (admittedly I havent had a baby in icu or with medical issues, things like that can change things, just talking on average...)

LOL at "babies - like farts - are better out than in"

Trapper Thu 04-Sep-14 07:47:34

Pre-natal depression is definitely a thing, and help should be available if you ask your GP. All those hormones plus a person 'violating' your body for nine months - sip prised more people don't feel like you tbh...

weebairn Thu 04-Sep-14 07:48:38

100% better. Fucking hate being pregnant. Mostly loved having a newborn, though there were teary days and tired days. And the magic of it all! I slept better with a newborn than heavily pregnant for what it's worth. And when you are awake you can cuddle them.

Losing weight even if it's slowly feels better than putting it on. Getting back into exercise was a joy. Even if you stay heavier for some time it is NOT THE SAME as not being able to lie on your front, properly bend down, turn over in bed, etc.

I get low and anxious sometimes and my "cure" is usually exercise or going out drinking with mates so pregnancy just fucking sucks!!

Can you tell I'm nearly 37 weeks and fed up? grin Come on baby!!

ps. Gennz we miss you on our antenatal thread!

flipflopsonfifthavenue Thu 04-Sep-14 08:21:50

with DS I had a very easy pregnancy, although I didn't necessarily love it or enjoy it. Once he was born though, pregnancy was just irrelevant. i remember thinking how pregnancy preapres you for FUCK ALL when it comes to having a newborn! A friend asked me if I missed my bump at all, and I was just like, er, what?? pregnancy just vanished into the distant past with the reality of looking after a newborn. If you bfeed you don't 'get your body back' for a while, but its def better I found.

I'm 31weeks pg with DC2 and really hating it this time. Am tireder, fatter, heavier, slower, sicker, constant heartburn, breathlessness, everything. I find baby movements a pain and uncomfortable and just annoying when I'm trying to get to sleep. I can't WAIT to get it out.

I know that having two kids is going to be a shock to the system but I really really see that as the lesser of two evils right now. I've read on here before, lots of people saying that having a toddler and a newborn is EASIER in some way than being heavily (esp if miserably..!) pregnant with a toddler.

Pregnancy is a means to an end and you've not got too long to go now x

ThinkIveBeenHacked Thu 04-Sep-14 08:31:56

Im nearly 33 weeks with dc2 and am fucking hating it. DD is almost three and a joy, however I physically cant do much with her and am surviving on very little sleep. I finished work last week after being signed off sick so now have the added guilt of that to contend with.

DH is a TA so he was off all summer which means DD hasnt been to her CMs in nearly seven weeks and im sending her back there two days a week now Im off and poor DD is like "wtf is going on Mammy???"

MIL bought DD a book about getting a baby brother and its so so grim that im binning it (hate the thought of binning a book!) and am sure its contributing to anxiety from.both me and her. Hope MIL didnt read it before she bought it - no one would buy it if they had.

I am desperate for this baby to come.

LBNM19 Thu 04-Sep-14 09:24:27

Defiantly much better with baby out, I felt so much better after having dc1, full of energy and like my old self. I'm 33 weeks now and can't wait for baby to be born I'm exhausted xx

TestingTestingWonTooFree Thu 04-Sep-14 09:57:52

My pregnancy was pretty good but I'm better with baby out than in. Tired, but sleep helps in a way that it didn't in late pregnancy.

canweseethebunnies Thu 04-Sep-14 10:04:51

I wouldn't necessarily say it was easier having a small baby. I think a first baby is a massive adjustment and pretty relentless!

It's definitely better than being pregnant, though! I can honestly say I was pretty happy after my dd was born, and was generally miserable when pregnant (and am again now!). And I was in a shitty relationship that ended when she was 9 months old.

Am currently 34 weeks with dc 2 and looking forward to it being over now. Pregnancy has very few redeeming features IMO.

Eatscones Thu 04-Sep-14 10:58:22

Let's just start this off by saying in all honesty, I'm a horrid pregnant lady! I hate being pregnant. I remember my first pregnancy with all these people telling me how wonderful it felt to be pregnant and how they had no sickness etc. Meanwhile I was 'green' for the entire time. My sister said she knew a lady that loved being pregnant but didn't like being a mum. When I gave birth, I could say immediately I LOVE being a mum!

Second time round ... Still hate being pregnant ... But looking forward to meeting our little one!

happylittlevegemites Thu 04-Sep-14 11:06:13

Even after a 36 hour labour followed by crash c-section, I felt so much better within a few days of giving birth. I utterly loathed being pregnant. Many people commented on how healthy I looked after.

This time round it's even worse. I hate being exhausted. I hate the movements. At best I feel apathetic about the baby. I don't care about names etc. But at least this time I know I'll feel better after it is born. And I can tell all those people who say "oh just you wait until the baby is here, THEN you'll be tired" to just fuck right off. Life is much easier with a newborn than it is being pregnant.

(On holiday and mega tired and grumpy)

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Thu 04-Sep-14 11:08:30

it is very much a thing

Link from Pandas website.

Of course, it is hard to unpick genuine depression from hormonal changes and surges and as the link states 'oh it's just your hormones' is a standard response to women who feel they have antenatal depression. It can just be your hormones but even it if it is 'just' your hormones it's still a very real thing either way.

DinoSnores Thu 04-Sep-14 11:11:55

I am so pleased to be pregnant, particularly as DC2 was stillborn, but that doesn't mean I really hate the being pregnant bit! I feel so sick, I am in so much pain. Labour will come as a blessed relief! I will feel so, so, so much better as soon as I give birth!

(And then in a year's time, I will have forgotten it all and will be suggesting to DH that we start TTC DC5 so it is my own fault! wink)

TheOriginalWinkly Thu 04-Sep-14 11:21:48

When I was pregnant and said how rubbish pregnancy was, people kept telling me I would be far more stressed and tired with a baby. Bollocks to them! Heartburn stopped instantly, I could roll over, tummy went down, all the swelling slowly vanished so I could wear shoes again, and the sleep i get now is of a much better quality than when I was heartburny and massive and peeing every five minutes. Plus DD is cute and adorable and I could admire her all day, I never stared lovingly at my big stretchmarked belly! Granted DD is a relatively easy baby but my delivery was awful and I've felt far better for the 2 months of her life than the last 2 months of pregnancy.

Totally agree! I had HG and SPD and spent the whole time on my own waiting for DH to come home from work. My family all lived too far away and my friends were working.
The one thought that really helped during labour was that "when this is over, I'm not going to be pregnant anymore."
Babies can be put down or handed to other people. smile

Ipsumlorem Thu 04-Sep-14 11:44:35

6 weeks in and I'm seconding what Theoriginalwinkly said. I hated being pregnant - was so so ill the entire time that I effectively lost 9 months of my life. Listening to people say that I would know all about it once baby was here added insult to injury!

Now dd is here however I am making up for lost time! We go everywhere - they are so portable when little and I know its not for everyone but I'm breastfeeding so have very little 'stuff' to carry with us.

Having a newborn involved a massive adjustment in my mindset. You constantly have someone else's needs to think about and their needs will always out trump your needs and wants. However being a mum is truly the best thing I have ever done!! Baby looking at you and smiling, or you watching their cute little face while they sleep is the best reward for any sleepless nights/times where you leave the house with dried vomit down your back (and there will be many)! And I say that as someone who was not previously that taken with tiny babies! wink

Cardriver Thu 04-Sep-14 11:47:11

Definitely easier out than in, even with DD1 who was a nightmare baby!

I bounced back immediately after each birth after very grim pregnancies. Feeling well again after all those months was fantastic. I felt on top of the world each time for at least 2 months after each birth despite lack of sleep, etc. Not even any baby blues. I felt like I'd come alive again grin

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