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Scan tomorrow, finding out gender?

(3 Posts)
PassTheAnswers Mon 01-Sep-14 14:32:38

Assuming that baby pass isn't actually pies which 6/8/12 week scan and heartbeat and movement probably indicate isn't the case, and that all goes well with the anomaly element of the scan, do we ask to find out the sex or not?

I had really strong feelings with ds that he was a boy, helped by a long line of boys on dh's side. Didn't find out, dh told me the sex in theatre albeit not quite in the rose tinted glasses scene as I had pictured prebirth as I was a moment away from being put under a GA.

Dh doesn't want to know full stop. I struggled to bond with ds and wondering whether if I know with this dc that might be help a little? And am I going to be able to keep it a secret for another 20 weeks!? I'm already referring to them as 'the boys' but don't know whether if I continued that post-scan he would guess.

Or I could not find out. Don't really care about whether boy/girl and nothing will change purchase wise as they will be having handmedowns clothing wise including a rather psychedelic 70s style floral sleepsuit that ds rocked.

FoodieMum3 Mon 01-Sep-14 15:56:00

I've found out this time and did not find out on my other 2. I was always dead set about finding out, I thought it spoilt the 'surprise', that it was fun to guess and that it got me through the last few weeks. I had myself convinced that it (finding out the gender) was part of my birth plan/experience.

I know that this one is a boy and it has completely changed my mind on finding out. I am so excited to meet my son, not 'the baby' but my son. I can buy things for him, I have clothes ready and organised and it's much exciting than creams and other neutral gendered colours.
Seeing his face and holding him close to me for the first time will still be an amazing experience, knowing the gender in advance will have done nothing to destroy that.
If anything, I'll probably enjoy the birth experience even more because on my other 2, I was so overwhelmed after delivery (especially EMCS) that I don't think I even got a minute to take in the fact that I had had daughters. This time, I spent most of a week embracing it and shedding tears.

Also, we have told nobody in real life (bar my mum) that we even know the gender so we will still get to experience the excitement of announcing 'it's a boy'.

Best of luck with your scan.

WhyOWhyWouldYou Mon 01-Sep-14 17:48:41

I personally felt it helped me bond with ds. Theres is something in being able to think my little boy rather than my baby. We are finding out tonight hopefully with this one (im 16w and wanted a reassurance scan and it cost the same for a gender one so we thought why not! Plus its dhs birthday tomorrow).

Could you not just explain to dh how you feel and see what he says then? He might be ok with knowing if he knows how you feel about it.

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