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What were your reasons for not breast feeding ?

(51 Posts)
Firstpregnancy2014 Wed 20-Aug-14 21:03:07

Did you ever have to justify your reasons to anyone ?
I can't really explain why I don't want to
I just don't want to and I know a lot of people will probably tell me that I should breast feed. But I just don't want to if that makes sense

Didn't want to, no reason beyond that.

I'm currently pg with dc2 and am undecided about whether I'll bf or not.

HavanaSlife Wed 20-Aug-14 21:08:40

I didnt want to with ds1, nobody ever asked. With ds2 I didnt like the feeling of it and ds3 was prem and I ended up expressing with ds3. Ive never felt the need to justify it in rl.

However im still bf 18 month old ds4 and often people ask me why.

Shenanagins Wed 20-Aug-14 21:15:01

No need to justify yourself to anyone its none of their business. In a few short years noone will care so do what works for you.

cathpip Wed 20-Aug-14 21:15:50

Dc3 is the first I have breastfed, didn't really put the effort in with the first two to be perfectly honest. Felt that as he is my last I would give it a damn good go and he took to it really easily smile. Don't feel you have to justify to anybody your feeding method, it's none of their business, as long as you and baby are healthy and happy that's all that matters.

elQuintoConyo Wed 20-Aug-14 21:21:18

My child bit me. From the word 'go'. Midwives were crap: no latch help, no advice to feed him everytime he cried or that his tummy was the size of a walnut and he'd need topping up constantly. Fuck all.

Formula fed from 2days old.

I had one person.give me a head tilt and sympathetic 'aww' . I just thought, 'aww.. fuck off!'

And that's it, no one else gave a flying probably spoke behind my back

DS is 2.8 now, and all from the prenatal class have stopped bfing - you can't tell the difference between our dc!

If someone makes a side comment, just head tilt (always a great way to.patronise) and say, 'well, it's a good job you don't have to worry about it, then, isn't it,' .

ohthegoats Wed 20-Aug-14 21:23:45

My friend didn't after 3 days. Her phrase was 'I aint no Earth mother'. Haha.

I won't get past 3 months, even if I do that. My main reasons are: I want my body back. I want my wardrobe back. I want my partner to be involved in feeding just as much as I am (and he wants to as well).

Because I paid good money for my tits and I'm not having them ruined grin

HavanaSlife Wed 20-Aug-14 21:26:20

Id have quite happily stopped a year ago

beccajoh Wed 20-Aug-14 21:27:05

I bf DD for 7 months. Hated every minute of it and it gave me PND. DS had some breast milk for two weeks, then onto formula full time because I was hating it and could feel the gloom descending again. No one's ever asked me to justify myself, although I've frequently felt the need to explain why not. Misplaced guilt I think.

Smartiepants79 Wed 20-Aug-14 21:35:52

Well I did breast feed. It was a real struggle especially with my first but we battled through and I'm very glad I did. Also we mixed fed so my DH was involved in the feeding, more so with our second.
There are many reasons why BF doesn't work out or for some isn't possible at all- medications, no supply, baby won't latch and suck ( I've had friends with all these issues).
I have to admit I find it hard to understand people who don't give it a go. I just feel its always worth a try even for a day or two. However I work hard with myself to not judge and would never expect anyone to have to justify themselves.
At the end of the day it's your choice. Just make sure your fully understanding of the pros and cons of both.
It's a very emotive subject with lots of guilt attached. I would perhaps try and keep and open mind and see how you feel once the babies arrive.

Firstpregnancy2014 Wed 20-Aug-14 21:35:56

Monkeyfacegrace I LOVE that hahaha really cheered me up!!

Thanks everyone! I've been over worried and tried to talk myself into it despite the fact I really don't want to just because I was scared of being judged by midwives etc so it's very reassuring to know that it's more common than I thought to just not want to! Midwives worried me saying things such as breast fed baby's have better IQs.. I think I'll take the risk

Firstpregnancy2014 Wed 20-Aug-14 21:37:00

Yeah I agree, I'm not against it and and I'm not ruling it out but I am planning to formula feed. If baby arrives and I feel differently I'll accept that, hoping a midwife will understand this too smile

ohthegoats Wed 20-Aug-14 21:39:46

I've got a genius IQ - genuinely (hard to believe) - I was formula fed from day one. I don't believe that bullshit reasoning.

PicandMinx Wed 20-Aug-14 21:43:20

MW have to promote breast feeding - it's their job. Why do you care if they judge you? They are strangers and their opinions are meaningless. How you choose to feed your baby is entirely up to you. You do not need anyone's approval.

PisforPeter Wed 20-Aug-14 21:44:41

Because I have big breasts and I know it would make them saggy & I didn't fancy that.
And because FF babies sleep better.
And hubby can help.
Aren't I awful grin

redexpat Wed 20-Aug-14 21:45:04

The IQ is an average, not an absolute, and the difference isn't huge either. I think it is 7 points.

TSSDNCOP Wed 20-Aug-14 21:47:29

I didn't want to.

WhyOWhyWouldYou Wed 20-Aug-14 21:55:28

The things like IQ are actually bullshit, they are wrongly put down to bf vs ff when actually if you take into account socio-economic factors (i.e. Middle class women are more likely to breastfeed, are more likely to be well educated themselves, get the best education for their chidren, eat healthier, etc - therefore unsurprising that their children are more likely to have a higher IQ, not as likely to be obese, etc).

The true advantages to bf is that you are giving your baby antibodies to help them stay healthy and its easier and more natural for them to digest.

Personally i think people should at least try 1 bf because it might surprise them and be ok and because you can chose to go from bf to ff but you cant really go from ff to bf. So i see it as you might as well try and see if it is/isnt for you. However i respect its personal choice and/or sometimes a medically necessary thing, so i wouldnt judge you if i saw you with formula and a newborn.

I think forums can be pretty judgemental about it and some HCP but i actually think people are mlre judgememtal about you bf after 6months than ff from the first feed.

WhyOWhyWouldYou Wed 20-Aug-14 21:56:23

The things like IQ are actually bullshit, they are wrongly put down to bf vs ff when actually if you take into account socio-economic factors (i.e. Middle class women are more likely to breastfeed, are more likely to be well educated themselves, get the best education for their chidren, eat healthier, etc - therefore unsurprising that their children are more likely to have a higher IQ, not as likely to be obese, etc).

The true advantages to bf is that you are giving your baby antibodies to help them stay healthy and its easier and more natural for them to digest.

Personally i think people should at least try 1 bf because it might surprise them and be ok and because you can chose to go from bf to ff but you cant really go from ff to bf. So i see it as you might as well try and see if it is/isnt for you. However i respect its personal choice and/or sometimes a medically necessary thing, so i wouldnt judge you if i saw you with formula and a newborn.

I think forums can be pretty judgemental about it and some HCP but i actually think people are mlre judgememtal about you bf after 6months than ff from the first feed.

WhyOWhyWouldYou Wed 20-Aug-14 21:56:36

The things like IQ are actually bullshit, they are wrongly put down to bf vs ff when actually if you take into account socio-economic factors (i.e. Middle class women are more likely to breastfeed, are more likely to be well educated themselves, get the best education for their chidren, eat healthier, etc - therefore unsurprising that their children are more likely to have a higher IQ, not as likely to be obese, etc).

The true advantages to bf is that you are giving your baby antibodies to help them stay healthy and its easier and more natural for them to digest.

Personally i think people should at least try 1 bf because it might surprise them and be ok and because you can chose to go from bf to ff but you cant really go from ff to bf. So i see it as you might as well try and see if it is/isnt for you. However i respect its personal choice and/or sometimes a medically necessary thing, so i wouldnt judge you if i saw you with formula and a newborn.

I think forums can be pretty judgemental about it and some HCP but i actually think people are mlre judgememtal about you bf after 6months than ff from the first feed.

HavanaSlife Wed 20-Aug-14 21:57:30

I think they've decided the IQ thing isn't true

The only people I have known have problems with mws after the birth are those who wrote it in the birth plan but changed their minds straight after and had problems with the mw while still in hospital

With 2,3 and 4 I told them I was keeping an open mind until after the birth. I never had a problem with them when I then said I was going to ff. They do have to go through the bf talk with you though.

With ds4 on day 2 I said to the hospital mw I'm giving him a cup of formula, she just said that's fine.

Do not let anyone try to make you feel guilty whatever you decide, it's your body, your baby and your choice!

Oh and I have massive boobs and bf for 18 months has not made them saggy grin

woodwaj Wed 20-Aug-14 21:58:22

First I am totally with you on this and glad you posted. I think we think there is more guilt than there is!

jerryfudd Wed 20-Aug-14 21:59:41

Just didn't want to. As far as I know my decision bothered no one and my 3 have always been good healthy weights with no real health issues save for the usual childhood illnesses like chickenpox once at school

JackShit Wed 20-Aug-14 22:04:33

Just to point out:

BF does not make breasts saggy - pregnancy does.
FF babies do not sleep better through the night - all babies are different and many bf babies sleep through from early on as do ff babies.

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