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Stupid stupid hormones.. Upset about OH past

(3 Posts)
Elizabeth120914 Tue 19-Aug-14 06:39:28

This is pointless really... Me and OH have been together a couple of years (32 &35) he never had any serious relationships before me and we have a house and got engaged last year.

I'm 36 weeks pregnant and I'm feeling really insecure. Since about march he doesn't want to have sex he feels like it's weird with the baby. This upsets me as I feel like we are more friends than anything else although he recons it doesn't matter and that's that. At this stage now ive gone past it but it has bothered me. We still hold hands, kiss cuddle up but it's not the same.

I have been engaged/ lived together before but OH hasn't he's seems to have had quite a string of girlfriends and was on a dating site and when we first met he had lots of girls that would text him. We had a big row about it right at the beginning and he deleted his whatsapp and that was that. He still get the very odd text which really pisses me off especially being pregnant. He knows this.. He's self employed tho and uses the number for work he doesn't reply because I've seen the bills when I'm doing his accounts..

He has a female who thinks she's his best friend (an ex) too who hates me for no reason at all and laid into me at her daughters birthday (charming!). Since then he's not had much to do with her but she's now messaging his family members and writing on his Facebook wall trying to get in touch with things like she's been to his parents and he isn't in, where do we live and messaging his brother abroad. Last night his phone was going off at half past ten - it's got to be her or some woman because he didn't say who it was.

On top of this he has a child with a woman who makes my skin crawl. They weren't really in a relationship and she's ten. The kid is no problem but the woman is vile and obviously I get confronted with her classy self every weekend (think benefit street but worse).

I suppose what it is that's upsetting me is they are all really rough and people I wouldn't even want to speak to let alone have a relationship with. He has a nice family so I've no idea why he associated himself with these total scum but it's really bothering me. Stupidly I was looking at his Facebook to see if that freak has been stalking us again and as he never uses it there's something near the top from years before I met him from yet another disgusting creature mentioning his activities are 'sexercise' and can't wait to see him later..

I don't know what my problem is but I feel sick now and it's upsetting me. He's no cheat or even a flirt but these women are making my skin crawl.. I don't ever even talk about my exes and we have been in quite serious relationships yet I get confronted with this crap on a daily basis the friend is disgusting too she's tried to have her child diagnosed with something for more benefit money and has had an extra baby because she was in danger of being forced back to work! She wants OH to go round for movie nights and is always trying to call on him for jobs her part be should do although he doesn't ever go I've really had enough.

If anyone gets through this feel free to shout nutter I'm not sure why I'm feeling so bothered .... But I really am sad

Jumblebee Tue 19-Aug-14 07:42:44

I remember pregnancy hormones well and I think they make most people a little irrational.

I think you need to forget about these other women. Your OH clearly isn't having it off with any of them. The fact that they're what you think are common is irrelevant.

TwigletFiend Tue 19-Aug-14 08:38:58

^As above, you sound like you're in a bit of a tizz over it all. Take some deep breaths and remind yourself of why you're with your DP: his good points, what you love about your relationship, what he loves about you. At the end of the day, he can't help having a past. Try to relax about it, he's with you because he wants to be , not because he's been forced!

Also... Id be a bit careful you don't hoik those judgey pants so high you choke on them. If you don't like the people he has associated with in the past, just try to avoid them as much as possible and try to be polite when you can't help but see them. He will appreciate you making the effort to be mature about it, I'm sure smile

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