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3rd trimester, horny, husband not interested. same boat anyone?

(16 Posts)
MumaBex Mon 18-Aug-14 18:55:24

feeling a little down ladies. Ive hit the 3rd trimester with baby no 3. The sex drive seems to have come back, big time, but the husband doesnt seem interested at all! He's quite happy to receive nice things, but doesnt seem to want to touch me. Im finding it quite frustrating and its making me feel like poo and my self confidence is taking a bit of a knock. Anyone in the same boat or got any advice??

MrsGiraffe12 Mon 18-Aug-14 19:02:49

My DH has been like this the whole pregnancy. 1st trimester because he was scared of causing a miscarriage (previously had one), 2nd trimester because I was diagnosed with an umbilical hernia which causes me a lot of pain, and now at 37 weeks he won't as I'm "too massive" and he doesn't want to hurt baby or bring on labour too soon.

Men don't get it, we have needs too ;-)

hartmel Mon 18-Aug-14 19:32:03

Oh you ladies are lucky!
With this pregnancy I'm not horny at all. Don't like cuddles or being kissed..
I'm 30 weeks and hoped it would come but no!
My DH is soooooo horny, I sometimes think that he is pregnant not me. grin

Maybe it is because I'm tired. We have a 11 month old son who keeps me busy during the day and once evening arrives I'm happy when DS is in bed and I can crawl in bed too or into a nice warm relaxing bath

LightUpLightUp Mon 18-Aug-14 20:17:05

Yep. And it's making me feel like shit!

neddle Mon 18-Aug-14 21:47:30

Yep and every time too - dc5 on the way.
I think it's crap because after the baby arrives I'm not interested for months so a pregnancy could mean a very sparse year.
I have taken matters into my own hands (literally)!)

Serenitysutton Mon 18-Aug-14 21:49:41

I'm v early - 7 weeks- but DH won't have sex at all. He says it feels weird. I'm ok ATM (making this baby took a lot of sex!) but 7 months? Grr

DearDinah Tue 19-Aug-14 08:45:08

Yes. We haven't had sex since we concieved. blush

MumaBex Wed 20-Aug-14 12:30:15

Sounds like there is alot of us in the same boat then! What is wrong with these men?? neddle, i have to say i have taken the same approach. But getting to the point where that isnt very satisfying either! Whats happened to those spontaneous moments of lust? dead and buried by the feels of it. sad

WaffleWiffle Wed 20-Aug-14 12:36:51

DH and I are finding it difficult finding a pleasurable position in third trimester (pleasurable for both of us - doggy works but does nothing for me), since I'm just so massive at 36 weeks.

What's a godsend is that because of this I'm getting more foreplay than usual - which I won't be complaining about.

ohthegoats Wed 20-Aug-14 12:41:18

What I've discovered at 34+4 is that I can't actually be touched - as in, anything near my labia is so sensitive that it's a no. Even my own fingers, and sometimes just items of my own clothes.

So, it's other warm up options then straight to hide the sausage - which weirdly, isn't oversensitive. Anyway - 'missionary' with him kneeling up works quite well, me on top is OK - even better if you do the whole standing on the bed thing with squatting over - means no labia touching for me.

Can't say it's as much fun, but it's alright. And I figure it gives my thighs a good workout for labour positions. Also, he thinks it's ACE, so you know... it's quite quick.

I can't wait to have normal sexual appetites and reactions. I hope they do actually come back.

FoodieMum3 Wed 20-Aug-14 12:50:18

We've always had a very active sex life, before and during all of pregnancy. However, this is my first pregnancy (3rd trimester, 3rd baby) that I have gone waaaay, way off it. I don't even want poor dh near me blush

We did try last night, and it just didn't happen, I was far too tense 'down there'. I feel baby quite low but it's mostly psychological I think.
I felt so sorry for my dh but he was so understanding.

ohthegoats Wed 20-Aug-14 12:59:11

I'm actually quite scared of what a childbirth/baby/child might do permanently to our sex life. That seems a little naïve or shallow maybe, but it's true. It's one of my big fears about the mess that might be left after birth.

MumaBex Wed 20-Aug-14 14:25:15

Dont worry about that Ohthegoats! If your that worried dont let him look at the good stuff when its coming out!
Kinda jealous Wafflewiffle! What i wouldnt give for a bit of foreplay!

mrsgembles Wed 20-Aug-14 14:48:08

Get the rabbit out!

RetroHippy Wed 20-Aug-14 14:51:30

Nearly 18 weeks here and can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times we've DTD since getting my bfp. Not counting the thumb hmm.

Apparently it felt weird for him. Then I had a hemorrhage 10 days ago so I suspect I'm not getting any PIV action for a while. Despite the fact that it had nothing to do with sex.

I think I'm healing over.

jess3692 Wed 20-Aug-14 14:59:40

on the subject of sex, we had sex a couple of weeks ago. started of with foreplay on me and I had to stop because I had horrible cramp. I sat up and took time out to let it pass. then we did missionary and it happened again! Btw, I was 16wks at the time. Wonder if it was because I was on my back? But then I still sometimes fall asleep on my back as I find it so comfortable... perhaps I was causing baby discomfort.. has this happened to anyone?!

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