Scan fear

[SeaSaltMill]

I am due a scan on Wednesday. It will be the '12 week' one with nuchal fold and blood tests.

I will be 13+5.

I've had 3 scans which have all been fine, the most recent at 12 weeks.

Why am I so scared?!

I'm a recurrent miscarrier and this is the furthest I have ever been. There's no reason why this wont work out but I'm just terrified. Maybe because this scan is in the U/s department and not the EPU like the last 3. The last time I went to the U/S dept they told me I had no baby. :(

Argh. FEAR!

[LBOCS]

I hate to say this but The Fear of scans doesn't go away. Not until you can feel them move (and even then, at my 20 week scan I was convinced that they'd tell me there was a problem incompatible with life). I was a recurrent miscarrier as well, and I'd got to the point where we were going through the motions - I didn't actually expect to get a baby at the end of it! You're doing great to get to this point, everything is now in your favour.

Good luck and try to enjoy your pregnancy (hard, I know).

[SeaSaltMill]

Thank you. I know it wont go away, it just suddenly appears out of nowhere. Until today I was actually quite excited about seeing baby again, and now i'm just terrified!

[squizita]

Yeah it doesn't go. I still get the fear at dipper appointments at 36 weeks! With a kicking bump!

But the fear is just anxiety. I find it useful to say "I'm scared because of what happened before. That's natural." So I allow myself to be scared but don't attach it to any new theories. It helps me.

[Happilymarried155]

I don't think it ever goes, especially if you have previously received bad news at a scan. I'm nearly 15 weeks, thought me 12 week scan would make me relax, it has abit but I still think oh no what if something happens blah blah!

I know in a few weeks il be stressing about my 20 week scan. Your previous scans have been good so everything should be fine x

[Andcake]

It doesn't go - even with movement I was terrified (had had mc etc too).

I used to walk in and basically tell the scanner just tell me asap that its still alive. I found the bit when morning sickness ended and the kicking started horrible as I just didn't have reassurance all was well. I used to shake.

Got quite angry with people asking me about finding out sex at 20 weeks - just wanted to shout at them - all I want to know is that baby is healthy - how can you concentrate on something so trivial.

Once I had kicks I used a count the kick bracelet to keep me sane so I wouldn't forget how much I had counted and panic (like I did once!)

good luck.

[SeaSaltMill]

Thanks everyone. Yes I think I will tell the scanner straight away 'I've had bad experiences with scans, can you just let me know right away that baby is there with a HB'

Do they have the screen turned towards you? I don't know if I can even look.

[Ellisisland]

I'm the same- scans terrify me

With the ones I have had the sonographer had the screen turned off first then said 'everything looks fine' before turning it on. But then it is in my notes about my previous problems so maybe that's why. You can ask for the screen that faces you to be turned off at the start if you want it too. I have my 20 week scan in a few weeks and am dreading it already!

[SeaSaltMill]

When I had the first one I knew something was wrong because the screen was facing me and I saw the empty sac.

I don't know whats easier, seeing it or being told. ARGH!

[squizita]

Andcake to be fair I am a recurrent miscarrier and once I knew all was well very much wanted to know the gender.
To me it's very important not to get tied up in some identity as a "so grateful" always serious person who resents the more trivial/fun things because I've had losses.
I've had CBT to help me do this. I've worked with very anxious, "smother love" mums with difficult histories - who often justify what is clearly anxiety and put down mums who aren't anxious.

If someone goes in to a scan wondering about gender and not worried, they are 99.5% likely to be OK same as me. And very lucky indeed not to have clinical anxiety as I do: good for them!

[birdofthenorth]

Good luck. I'm sure you know if you've seen a heartbeat at 12 weeks it is very likely to be fine this time. I know there are no guarantees but statistics are now on your side. Let us know how you get on. Try to relax of you possibly can. Distract yourself.

[Chattycat78]

Yep- me too. I had an empty sac at a scan last year, and had to go through IVF for this baby. Every time I go for a scan (and I've had about 5 already!) I am terrified they are going to give me bad news. I'm currently panicking about my twenty wk scan next week....