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I really need some advice, can anyone help me?

(37 Posts)
WhatKatyDid29 Fri 15-Aug-14 22:55:18

Hello,new to the forum today so still finding my way around but I'm in a pretty desperate situation and need some advice please!

My boyfriend and I have only been together for 3 months,but it's all going really well....at least until now.

His ex left him at 20 weeks pregnant after announcing that the baby was not in fact his,never to be seen again so obviously babies are a sore point for him.
At times when his guard is down he talks about wanting babies and says if I were to be pregnant he would be over the moon but this just his fragility I think.

I am now 5 days late for my AF and have cramps, lower backache, wind and, most worrisome of all absolutely agonising nipples! Can't even bear to have a towel or bed sheet touch them. I have a 7 year old daughter and experienced the nipples with her also, and it's not something I hsve ever had as part of my AF.

I am so,so worried that I could be pregnant, and if I am what to do! If he hadn't been through what he's been through I could handle telling him and everything that went along with that, but um scared he will panic and think I'll do the same as his ex :-(

From what I'm describing do you think it's likely I could be pregnant,and and if so at what point is it best to take a test to be sure?

I am freaking out and just need someone to talk to about this. If you can find time to respond with any advice re the symptoms I would be ever so grateful.

Thank you in advance for your help!

K xx

TheGoop Fri 15-Aug-14 22:58:12

I would wait another five days and then test.

nerdsgirl Fri 15-Aug-14 23:11:02

If its eating you up, talk to someone, build yourself up to telling him - but you need to be patient, as hard as it is, and wait to do a test.

Finola1step Fri 15-Aug-14 23:15:46

Have you posted before OP? Your story and writing style is ever so familiar...

WhatKatyDid29 Fri 15-Aug-14 23:17:34

Thank you so much for your replies! Do you think my symptoms sound like early pregnancy? It really is eating me up, I feel so terrible and I can't bear the thought of hurting him :-( He is amazing, and if he was upset which there is a good chance he would be, I would be devastated. Not even begun to think about how I would feel about having an unplanned baby, just too worried about him.

I will leave it a few more days and then I guess I'll bite the bullet and take a test.

Thank you again xx

WhatKatyDid29 Fri 15-Aug-14 23:33:12


This is my first post, and I am so glad that people are kind enough to reply!

CultureSucksDownWords Fri 15-Aug-14 23:33:14

Have you had unprotected sex? If not then it is unlikely that you are pregnant.

If you have, then you could do a test now as you have missed a period.

WhatKatyDid29 Fri 15-Aug-14 23:35:03

Any advice on the best type of test to take would be gratefully received also! Last time I discovered I was pregnant my GP tested me so I have never bought one and there are so many to choose from!

WhatKatyDid29 Fri 15-Aug-14 23:36:54

Well, we have been using condoms but in mid July we went to a wedding - had quite a lot to drink so it's possible we weren't careful? That sounds terrible doesn't it! sad

fishfingerSarnies Fri 15-Aug-14 23:44:53

If your late coming on I'd test now so you know and don't wind yourself up worrying. Good luck. X

WhatKatyDid29 Fri 15-Aug-14 23:51:08

Really? I wondered if 5 days was too early from what I've read on some of the threads I've seen on here, bit honestly the thought of waiting another 5 days is a nightmare! If I am, I need to know so I can decide what to do in terms of breaking the news. If I'm not, I can start sleeping and eating again smile
Thank you xx

bugoven Sat 16-Aug-14 03:41:29

The symptoms all sound familiar for AF and pregnancy. At 5 days late now would be a good time to test. Good luck =)

bugoven Sat 16-Aug-14 03:44:17

I would go for a pink dye test as blue dye can sometimes be a bit less clear if it's early in.

Superdrug own, Tesco or First Response is the most sensitive and clear X

WhatKatyDid29 Sat 16-Aug-14 06:47:16

Oh bugoven thank you! Had no idea which to choose! Will pick up today and then do tomorrow morning I guess. Thanks again xxx

Mumof3xox Sat 16-Aug-14 06:49:43

First response are usually good op

fishfingerSarnies Sat 16-Aug-14 08:34:01

Thinking of you. X

WhatKatyDid29 Sat 16-Aug-14 09:27:44

Thanks ever so much. Will go to boots Later whilst my daughter is at a playdateand pick up a clear blue test then. So worried I feel sick and can't eat :-( I am seeing him tomorrow afternoon so if it's positive in the morning I will have to tell him or it will eat me alive and he will know something is wrong xx

JennyBlueWren Sat 16-Aug-14 12:13:28

I found ClearBlue to be the clearest. It would be best to get it off your chest and tell him. Encourage him to talk about how he feels and his worries and fears (as well as hopes). I take it you don't live together -would you want him to move in with you and DD?

WhatKatyDid29 Sat 16-Aug-14 12:23:22

That's really great advice, thank you! I think he would be very excited on the one hand as he was so looking forward to the baby and then was devastated when she told him it want his, but on the other hand it's so early between us and we are still getting to know each other.

Living together.... if I am pregnant I suppose in time yes but no not right now- I have never introduced a boyfriend to my daughter. I really would like to introduce them and we have spoken about it but I wanted to wait til at least 6 months together so I am sure it's going somewhere before she bonds with him. At the six month mark now I could well be starting my second trimester so makes it more tricky!

Ordered Tesco shop to be delivered in the AM with pack of 2 clear blue digital tests. If I don't drink too much on the morning would I be ok to test at midday or should I wait for first thing? He will be with me from tomorrow afternoon until Tues evening whilst my daughter is away with dad - we've taken time off to spend together so if midday too late will have to wait for Weds! I don't know if I can do 4 more days feeling like this sad

magicalmrmistofelees Sat 16-Aug-14 12:28:08

If you're already late for AF then test now! Tests are designed to be accurate from the day of your missed period.

magicalmrmistofelees Sat 16-Aug-14 12:28:59

Midday should be fine at 5 days late. P

WhatKatyDid29 Sat 16-Aug-14 12:50:13

That's a relief! Tests here tomorrow so will do one and then I can know for sure and if I am,tell him tomorrow night.

Thank you again everyone for your help!! Definitely feeling less stressed than I was before I found this site xx

WhatKatyDid29 Sat 16-Aug-14 16:48:16

Despite ordering shopping for tomorrow I found myself in a supermarket so caved and bought another one.....It is positive. I'm pregnant. At least now I know and have 24 hours to think about how I'm going to tell him. Thanks for all your help ladies. Xx

MrsGiraffe12 Sat 16-Aug-14 17:07:25

Good luck OP at telling him. If he was as devastated as you say at the horribly shitty thing his ex did to him, then I imagine he will be pleased.

Do keep us updated though x

fishfingerSarnies Sat 16-Aug-14 17:09:58

Well good luck with everything and congratulations x

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