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How I approach the subject of our dogs ?

(59 Posts)
Firstpregnancy2014 Fri 08-Aug-14 08:49:36

Abit of advice needed!
We live in a large one bedroom flat - we have been trying to move before baby arrives in November but so far had no luck.
Living in a one bed flat with a baby doesn't bother me - however behind our move was mainly our dogs. We have two small dogs.
I adore my dogs. Both 12 months old, we love taking them for big walks and they get a lot of attention.

However I'm really worried about being able to cope when baby is here .. When I'm at home on my own I think ill struggle. When I take the dogs out the flat to go for a wee I will need to take baby, when I get up in the night ill to feed baby I will disturb dogs. It's not like I can just let them out in the garden.

How can I tell my partner ? I'm seriously consideringn finding good homes for them. It's breaking my heart typing this but my baby needs to come first, my dogs are the friendliest things in the world and used to children. But i would never forgive myself if something happened and made them snap.

Am I over Thinkjng this ? What would you do? I feel bad saying it would make my life easier - which it would. I would miss them so much but I need justification for my partner he loves them so much Aswell so I'm scared he will just say no!

Firstpregnancy2014 Fri 08-Aug-14 08:51:56

Even reading this back it sounds like my dogs don't mean anything to me anymore and I feel awful! I can assure you I absolutely love my dogs to bits and this is the hardest decision I've ever had to think about sad

LBNM19 Fri 08-Aug-14 09:08:11

Your life w

LBNM19 Fri 08-Aug-14 09:11:51

Your life would be easier my dog is just over a year and we've had him for a year now sometimes he drives me mad but I couldn't imagine not having him now, we live in a ground floor flat and have a garden so will make things a bit easier when baby comes and we already have a 2 year old.

Have you got anyone that can help you whilst the baby is small? Or that can doggy sit for a week or so, if you really want to keep them I'm sure your manage fine if your just quickly popping downstairs you can put baby in a sling or carry?

If you so need to rehome them that doesn't make you a bad person you need to do what's best for all of you xx

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 08-Aug-14 09:16:19

Lots of people have dogs and babies and manage okay. Use a sling when taking them out for a wee. Train them before the baby comes to go to bed and stay there on command do they're not bouncing about when you do night feeds.

You're being a but pfb, tbh, if I wad your partner I'd not consider it either.

twiglet2 Fri 08-Aug-14 09:28:31

we have a much loved 4 year old springer spaniel who needs at least 3 walks a day. My plan is to buy a sling for dog walks, so the baby gets fresh air and I can keep the routine for my dog the same. We're also thinking about taking the dog out with an empty pram to try and get her used to this as well before the baby arrives, though we may look a bit mad.
I have a moses basket with a stand, and will make sure the baby is never alone with the dog.
From your post, it sounds like you really love your dogs, and it would be sad if you rehomed them before seeing how they cope with the little one and I think you may regret it later on.

WhyOWhyWouldYou Fri 08-Aug-14 09:29:12

Tbh i wouldnt want dogs and a baby in the same house. Most dog attacks on babies are not aggressive, they are dogs getting over excited by baby noises (they can make lots of little squeaks like a squeaky toy) or the dog treating baby like a puppy (a friend of a friends baby was killed by their soppy dog when it got in the room with baby and picked baby up by the back of the neck).

The other things like taking them out for a wee, youd just need a baby carrier or sling. So you can get around.

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 08-Aug-14 09:33:13

Arf @ dogs mistaking newborns for squeaky toys. I love these threads, I really do grin

Baby gates are these magical inventions that keep dogs on one room and babies in another. They really are something to behold.

SqueakyChicken Fri 08-Aug-14 09:38:51

I assume when you got your dogs not so long ago, you saw a future with children in it. Yet now that it comes to it, you're just letting them go without even giving them a chance?Dogs are not commodities to just give up to make things easier for you.

Give them a chance. It's not going to be easy, but it's not an impossible situation either.

Lally112 Fri 08-Aug-14 09:40:41

To be honest you made a commitment when you got the dogs and it does sound a bit like they were your babies until the new baby comes along. I have 4 kids and 9 dogs (and much much more), granted I have more space than you but its a commitment I made and even when its been hard I have just got on with it.

pickles184 Fri 08-Aug-14 09:41:54

At the end of the day you need to do what is right for you and your family. My suggestion would be to wait and see once baby is here.
Get a sling, the popping up and down stairs for toilet breaks won't be a deal more hassle than it is now while your baby is tiny. Hopefully you will find a house to move to and it will only need to be a temporary thing.
There will still be time to rehome your dogs if you do find that you simply can't cope, but please don't do any thing rash with what ifs and maybes.

Although my priorities did change once my dd was here and I'll be honest that there were a number of occasions when I gave serious thought to finding him a new home with someone who had more time for him. I'm so glad that I didn't though, he was a valuable source of company and comfort in the early months and the daily exercise and fresh air did all of us the world of good. Dd absolutely loves him and it is really great watching their bond with each other

NickiFury Fri 08-Aug-14 09:45:40

I worried about this, only one dog but was in a flat etc. it was fine. Ex would walk him before he went to work. I'd take him out for a little stroll to the paper shop around midday with ds in a sling. Let him out in the afternoon when ds was napping, ex walked him when he got home and before bed.

Wolfiefan Fri 08-Aug-14 09:49:01

Why have you had no luck?

micah Fri 08-Aug-14 09:50:52

Dog picked a baby up by the back of the neck thinking it was a puppy and killed it?

Fail to see how that could happen... It'd need to be a big dog to start with.

Firstpregnancy2014 Fri 08-Aug-14 09:50:56

That's the thing I didn't see my future with children in it. I fell pregnant very unexpectedly after a course of medication which effected my pill. I wouldn't have wanted children for about 7 years- at which point I'd have a house. It's purely the living arrangements that scare me. I am likely to be having a c-section due to medical reasons and I'm worried about taking the dogs out and a baby- my partner only get 2 weeks off work. I relied heavily on my mum for help and she unexpectedly passed away 3 weeks ago.

I know I sound selfish, but I really just want what's best for us allsad my flat is open plan and we have put up a baby gate ready for baby but that only gives the dogs the hallway as it's an open plan flat. And they are both bulldogs who are extremely giddy. I feel so awful

micah Fri 08-Aug-14 09:53:45

Oh and with regard to o/p, any neighbours or neighbours kids who might like to take the dog out for a few hours, maybe for a bit of pocket money? Even if the just take them to their house..

I did read of a sharing scheme for the elderly I thought was genius- working family have dog, oap's dog sit in the day and for holidays, without the commitment and worry if the dog outlives them or they need to go into care.

Firstpregnancy2014 Fri 08-Aug-14 09:54:29

That's the thing I didn't see my future with children in it. I fell pregnant very unexpectedly after a course of medication which effected my pill. I wouldn't have wanted children for about 7 years- at which point I'd have a house. It's purely the living arrangements that scare me. I am likely to be having a c-section due to medical reasons and I'm worried about taking the dogs out and a baby- my partner only get 2 weeks off work. I relied heavily on my mum for help and she unexpectedly passed away 3 weeks ago.

I know I sound selfish, but I really just want what's best for us allsad my flat is open plan and we have put up a baby gate ready for baby but that only gives the dogs the hallway as it's an open plan flat. And they are both bulldogs who are extremely giddy. I feel so awful

Heatherbell1978 Fri 08-Aug-14 09:56:25

For the record I don't think you're being 'pfb' at all and you're thinking very practically about this. You obviously love your dogs and it's upsetting for you to even write this post so my suggestion would be to wait until the baby is here to see how you cope with the dogs around. Finding a new home for them isn't something you want to regret later but at least if you give it a shot, you'll feel better about having to re-home them if it doesn't work out. And speak to your partner about it and let him know your concerns.

YouGotTime Fri 08-Aug-14 09:56:53

So you got your dogs less than 12 months ago - was your pregnancy an accident? Or did you get your dogs knowing you would try for a baby?Because if that's the case this is heartbreaking thing to do.

I have two adored dogs and a 2 year old and a three year old. It can be a lot of work but the benefits easily defray that. They have been a great source of companionship, comfort and joy.

Wolfiefan Fri 08-Aug-14 10:01:23

Can't a friend or neighbour help?
Why can't you find another place?

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 08-Aug-14 10:01:32

The c section will make things harder, but not impossible. The dogs will need to be trained to walk nicely on a lead. Can you afford a dog walker for a few weeks? Could dh do walks before and after work?

Start training now. Without wanting to sound mean all of this should have been addressed when you first poas.

It's not too late to set boundaries in place.

Finding rescue space for bull breeds will be next to impossible. There won't be rosy future for these dogs if you give up. If you really wanted to you could make it work.

YouGotTime Fri 08-Aug-14 10:02:00

sorry x post.

I am so sorry about your mum. That must be devastating.

Look it can be done, I had csections, my partner couldn't get anytime off work and my mum lives in a different city. But it does mean extra work and commitment and you have to be prepared to do it. My dogs not being in my life was never an option so I made it work. If that isn't the case for you then it is probably better to be honest now and do what is best for your doggies now whilst you can organise it with care and compassion. Not wait till you feel swamped and get rid of them to the first option available.

Good luck to you all.

Gileswithachainsaw Fri 08-Aug-14 10:04:44

Why don't you just see how it goes instead of deciding before baby is even born that the dogs are too much trouble.

People have coped for centuries with babies and pets. If it was that hard do you think it would still be happening?

You can't just ditch pets because you have a baby. What happens four years down the line and you get another one only to fall pregnant again?

Annarose2014 Fri 08-Aug-14 10:04:45

Buy a travel cot for the kitchen, so that when you have to put baby down to make dinner etc, the baby is safe from the dog. And hopefully when baby gets a bit bigger and can sit up it'll basically be a playpen with all babys toys inside.

It sounds like its too hard to corral the dogs, so the most practical thing is to corral baby for now. At least baby won't be walking for a while!

By the time baby is walking you will probably be needing to be living somewhere with more space so that doggies can be put in a different room if poss. But for now there are practical things you can do, such as gates, travel cots, playpens, slings etc.

Also I would get those dogs sleeping in the kitchen, if they are sleeping in the bedroom - it sounds far too stressful to be waking up two dogs several times a night for feeds and they may get understandably narky. You could try crate training them at night in the kitchen - they are only young yet so it might not be hard, particularly if its positive reinforcement that the crates are their own special safe havens where they are warm and comfy and secure.

Gileswithachainsaw Fri 08-Aug-14 10:05:45

Can't a friend or neighbour help walk dogs? I'd happily do it

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