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Newly pregnant after long-term TTC?

(15 Posts)
Lindsay81 Wed 30-Jul-14 12:58:09

Hi everyone

I hope it is OK to post here- I "belong" on the conception forums smile

Short background- we have been actively TTC for 15 months (off BC for 18 months), all tests good and no "issues".

I wondered if anyone here is pregnant after trying for an equal or longer amount of time with no known health/ fertility problems impacting things and could share heir story?

I'd be interested to hear thing like:

- What month did it happen and did you feel like you knew it was THE month? How did you find out? Did you test- if so when?
-How did your mood change over the time you were TTC and how did you cope with the monthly disappointment until your good news?
- When you look back, was it just "your time"? Or were there things you could have done sooner/ better?

and anything else you fancy sharing! I guess I am just looking for a bit of positivity and perspective right now, as I am feeling quite low.

JustGotMyBabyOnBoardBadge Wed 30-Jul-14 14:28:09

Didn't want to read and run, our situation was almost a year of TTC and actually getting told when we checked in at the fertility clinic that we were pregnant!! Talk about shocked. Thing is - when we were actually trying I think we both got a bit stressed out...nothing wrong with either of us from the normal first rounds of testing but I am SURE it played a huge part in us not conceiving before then.

Since we had a date on the NHS (given to us just before Christmas) to go the the next stage in Feb we just sort of gave up for the January period and I didn't track anything as I thought the clinic would 'solve' the issue...turns out the issue was being stressed and I am now 27 weeks along a perfectly normal pregnancy hoping to meet this little girl on Halloween!!

It's very hard to tell you to NOT stress out - especially if it's something you really want!! However I would give yourself a 2-3 month period where you don't go on forums like this, don't worry about ovulation, what you are eating, drinking etc and just be a couple again and go on holidays, weekends away etc and just enjoy a time out - you can resume babymaking again afterwards...this might just work for you but if not at least it will help die down your anxiety for a bit which has got to be a good thing....

LisaC2611 Wed 30-Jul-14 19:07:07

Hi

We started TTC in April 2012 at the ripe old age of 36 for me. First month was late and thought we had cracked it. Turned out I was just late. Pg test negative.

After 8 months of trying we decided to go see our gp for tests. We were told that although I was over weight there was nothing wrong with either of us and was referred to a consultant.

When we saw the consultant we were sent for more tests which again showed there was nothing wrong with either of us. She told me I had to lose a lot of weight to get my Bmi down to below 30 before they would refer us for treatment.

We went back to the consultant, me having lost 4 stone in weight and the consultant was really pleased (I had not yet reached the Bmi target) so she gave us a course if clomid.

Unfortunately the clomid did not work for us on that round and when we went back to see the consultant earlier this year she have us another course of clomid and said that she would refer us for IVF at our next appointment in May this year (providing I had got my weight down, I was 1 stone away).

I started the clomid in march and we decided to give preseed a try that month as it was the one thing we hadn't tried. In April I was about to start an eating regime that would help me get the last stone off for the ivf referral but I was a few days late. Didn't think for a second I would be pregnant but just to be on the safe side I told DH I was going to do a test.

That was the day my life changed!! Got a bfp and was in absolute shock. As it was my birthday week it was the best birthday present I could have got. Also an early Xmas present as we are due 6th December and am currently 21+4.

All in we were TTC for 23 months and having looked on the internet it says that I had a 98% chance of conceiving that month statistically.

Don't give up but as pp says do try and relax. I got really down every time someone told me they were pg, not in front of them was always really pleased for them but had a good cry when I got home.

Sorry that was so long winded!

18yearsoftrying Wed 30-Jul-14 21:13:23

A friend of mine tried for 6 years before naturally conceiving.

I'm not relative to your question but wanted to give hope to others....

9 years of trying naturally with decades of overcoming an eating disorder too.

After this unsuccessful bash, it was another 9 financially hard, emotionally draining heard of IVF. I certainly found out who my friends were!
Every period was pointless, the grieving would start again, the anger towards people who say ridiculously insensitive things out of sheer naïvety was painful.

I think it can either make you or break you. It makes you question what you're working for, whether you really want it.

We are now in the worst possible financial situation ever with redundancy & loss of income but looking on the bright side that we're soon to be "at home parents" having both worked 72 hours a week for the last 17 years, with 4 weeks annual leave a year.

So, in answer to your question....it was worth the wait & now is definitely the right time (despite my age now & my debilitating degenerative disability which means c-sec under GA and a hell of a lot of practical help after)

If I had my time again I wouldn't have waited until we got married (which was 9 years of being together) - I would have invested my time into investigation and treatment.

Lindsay81 Thu 31-Jul-14 20:03:53

Thank you ladies for your stories! I am feeling a bit more positive and it's lovely to hear your stories. I know I need to try and obsess less- as you all know easier said than done!

Congratulations girls :-) Hope you are enjoying this time xo

Hedgehog1977 Thu 31-Jul-14 20:36:30

We had been ttc since January 2010 and I'm now 7 months pregnant. We never had an official diagnosis - my tests were sometimes borderline (eg fsh of 9), but nothing we could really pinpoint. Personally I think stress at work may have stopped me ovulating. The month I was tested I didn't ovulate, but I'm fairly sure I do at least some of the time.

For the last couple of months we did everything possible - healthy diet, vitamins, acupuncture etc. I was also on clomid (5th month, higher dose), but no idea which of these things finally did it. We got a bfp a week before our ivf referral.

I had no idea I was pregnant, I'd got used to disappointment each month and was looking forward to trying something new. I was 3 days late when I tested and it was the biggest shock of my life!

Happilymarried155 Thu 31-Jul-14 20:58:19

I had been ttc for four years, after three iuis, a miscarriage and ivf I'm now 12 weeks pregnant. Can't believe it!! Whilst it's the most amazing thing ever, I don't think I've worried as much in the last few months than I have in my whole life! X

omama Thu 31-Jul-14 23:23:02

We started ttc in March 2012 just before we got married. We expected it might take us a few months (ds took 3 months ttc) but 8 months later & still nothing I started using opk's & then after a year of nothing I started charting too.

In April 2013 after 13 months ttc, a trip to the gp for initial tests (which all came back normal) & a referral to the fertility clinic, we found out I was pregnant. We were thrilled but sadly it wasn't meant to be & I suffered a mmc in June 2013.

We started ttc again right away, in Feb 2014 I went back to the gp as still nothing & my cycles were irregular & I didnt seem to be ovulating every month. I did a second round of tests ( results okish), & was told to give it 3 more months ie 1 yr post mc & gp would refer us to the fertility clinic again.

I joined weight watchers & lost just over a stone & not sure if it was that which kickstarted my ovulation again, or the pregnacare conception vits I started taking that same month, or the relief of feeling like something was actually being done to investigate our troubles, but at the end of March 2014 I got my bfp. Like hedgehog I was completely shocked! Am now 22 weeks & dd is due in December.

time2deal Fri 01-Aug-14 00:29:02

Lindsay I first wanted to say that long term TTC was the hardest thing I have ever been though, so sending all my sympathy. It's a endless cycle of hope and heartbreak, and then people saying 'just relax' - which drives me crazy!

We were TTC for 2 years I think, maybe a bit longer, and my tests came back ok, but OH's were a bit low. Not catastrophic, but low. We decided to go for IVF/ICSI, but - to cut a long story short - instead of IVF I was diagnosed with cervical cancer! Not actually stopping us getting pregnant, but obviously then the focus changed.

That was late 2012, but after a lot of operations and endless doctor visits I was allowed to do an IVF cycle in January this year and it worked first time! That was 4 years TTC overall. I'm 30 weeks now, and after al lthat messing around I'm only a few weeks from 38 years old. Tough pregnancy cause of all the damage from the surgeries, but I'm getting there and I'm overjoyed. I was told MANY times to give up, but refused to. So keep pushing, and do what you need to to keep sane, and keep hopeful.

Lindsay81 Fri 01-Aug-14 13:35:42

You guys are lovely :-) It's nice to hear from people who know what you are going through but who have "come out the other side", so to speak! LOL The conception boards are wonderful, but it can be difficult at time to see the end picture, with so many of us obsessing about it ever happening. Thank you for taking time to reply!

time2deal Are you well now? I hope so- not the news you expect when TTC and never something you want to hear. Very best of luck for the next couple of months and I hope you enjoy every minute with your growing family! :-)

time2deal Fri 01-Aug-14 14:31:57

I'm ok now as far as I know. I had to skip my 1 year check up (was classed as remission in around March 2013) due to the pregnancy, but will get the MRI and tests later this year. No sign of any trouble though, and I get scanned a LOT. They will take some biopsies during my c-section too.

I sort of hoped they would do the MRI anyway. Would have been an awesome image of the baby! But that was, fairly logically, delayed until after.

But honestly, the cancer treatment was easier than infertility! At least it had a clear path with steps to follow. And people 'get' it. Infertility is so taboo, and those who you do speak to who never had problems just don't understand the heartbreak. Hope to see you soon on this board.

Jenninlw Fri 01-Aug-14 14:56:57

It took us 18 months before we got our sticky bfp. At first it was around 5 months when I got my bfp but that ended in mmc then I got a bfp again 2 months later and that ended in a mc at 5 weeks. After that it was over 9 long months before we got our next, and sticky, bfp. It was horrible, my friends were getting pregnant 'at the drop of a hat' all around me and I cried all the time. I had terrible periods after second mc - very painful and clotted. I had a scan but there was nothing wrong with me. I took vit b6 and progesterone cream to help with pmt symptoms though I don't know if it helped. I'm healthy, fit and not overweight.however it happened and the month I got pregnant I had no idea. I had no 'symptoms' at all whereas in previous months if had loads - in fact I had no symptoms until I was 6 weeks pregnant which for me is apparently a sign of pregnancy!

My dd is 19 months old and I am now pregnant again. Everyone said it would be easier second time around and I didn't want to believe them.however it was easier, we tried once and it happened. Cue me in complete shock!! Again no symptoms at all.

I hope your journey isn't too much longer x

I hope

Rosebud29 Fri 01-Aug-14 17:03:52

We tried for 18 months. The month we started trying (June 2012) my periods disappeared for 3 months for no reason whatsoever. I'd been as regular as clockwork up to then. I was tested for polycystic ovaries and other things. Obviously we assumed we'd managed to conceive in the first month and it was hard getting BFN after BFN. After that my periods returned but were irregular, I didn't have a clue when I was ovulating. I was using an ovulation predictor app so I could at least see how long my cycles were (between 28 and 38 days. Yes I was 10 days late one month. Another BFN). We made sure to have sex every 2 days over the week or so that I could be ovulating. Finally, last October, we gave up. I decided to stop tracking periods, we had sex because we wanted to, not with the aim of a baby in mind. In November we had sex once, I could pinpoint the date. In the same month I drank more than I usually do (which still isn't much, I'm not a big drinker, just more than usual) and I got tattooed! (Which is still half finished, haha). We finally got our BFP on 2nd December. I could not tell you why I even tested, I had no clues or symptoms at all, I would never have believed after all those months of trying that it would work when we only had sex once. I really don't know why I tested. Our Alien is due next Saturday :-).

I don't know what got me through the constant disappointment every month. We started planning our wedding which distracted me (that's on the back burner now). I wish I'd taken vitamins and stuff that might have helped, like the Vitabiotics tablets for conception. And maybe eaten the foods that are recommended for conception. And exercised a bit more. But we got there in the end. Don't lose hope. I can only put my AWOL periods down to the stress of trying to conceive so the best advice I can give is to try not to think about it. You know people say that it'll happen as soon as you stop trying? I think there's something in that.

GingerbreadBabyPlease Fri 01-Aug-14 21:17:29

Nice to read this thread, interesting to see how long it took and what eventually worked, there doesn't seem to be any pattern or reason as to when and how it happens!
I am also 'from' the conception boards, posted a similar thread on there, and like you said lindsay it's nice to hear of people who are on the other side.
I am very lucky in that I have a DD already, but we have been trying now for over 12 months to give her a sibling and it just isn't happening. She was conceived in the second month of trying so I just cannot understand why it isn't happening.
It's lovely to read all of your stories though, it does bring some hope that maybe one day it will happen, and congratulations to you all! I hope we can come and join you on this page soon.

caravela Sun 03-Aug-14 14:03:37

Hi everyone,

We were TTC for 2 years: all the tests came back fine and when we went to see a consultant, he couldn't see any reason we shouldn't be able to conceive naturally. My tests were all totally normal: DHs a bit low on motility, but the consultant said that this ought to be compensated for by hgh density. Both of us non-smokers, not heavy drinkers, not over-weight, healthy diet, etc, so nothing that you could pinpoint as something to change.

It was stressful because our NHS trust doesn't fund IVF unless you have been trying for more than 2 years AND you are under 35 (and then only for one cycle), which meant that our window for being able to get it was very small, and I felt as though we were being forced into going that route more quickly than we were comfortable with. We had basically decided that we were going to have to start IVF while we could still get it paid for. This was upsetting for DH because he had this belief that it was 'his fault' but that it was me that would have to go through the stress of all the procedures. And both of us were also trying to make light of it for the other one's sake, and pretend that we weren't all that disappointed each month.

When I got the BFP it was shortly after we had finally got the paperwork through giving approval for IVF, and it would have been our first month TTC after the conversation with the consultant where he said "there's nothing we can find wrong with you, so the only options you have are either to start IVF now or just to carry on and hope something happens". I was away on holiday when I got the result, and the plan had been to do all the paperwork and start the ball rolling when I got back. So the timing felt really unreal and like a miracle. We had done the deed quite a lot that month, but I don't think we did anything different from normal. We both felt a bit like the consultant saying that there wasn't anything wrong had been like a pep-talk to the egg and sperm!

I think one of the consequences of having spent so long TTC was that it made it very hard for DH to believe that the pregnancy was real, because I suspect he was frightened of getting his hopes up. So for ages he'd be saying things like "if you really are pregnant", or then "if this baby actually arrives", and I think we were both worried at the 12 week scan that there wouldn't be anything there. But now I'm 26 weeks pregnant, have had a very easy time with no complications, and hoping to meet our baby in November.

I really hope things work out for you OP.

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