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Staying home with a Toddler harder than working F/T while pregnant?

(8 Posts)
Eatscones Tue 29-Jul-14 14:04:30

I'm 33 weeks pregnant now with my 2nd and finding it difficult to deal with my 19 month old. During my first pregnancy I was sick the entire pregnancy but still managed to work F/T throughout, only missing half of a shift during those months. It was difficult but I'm finding staying home with my DD is comparably difficult. I was just curious if others have had a similar experience.

beccajoh Tue 29-Jul-14 14:10:02

I had two very different pregnancies but did find being at home with DD (18 months between my two) and being pregnant harder than going to work. I suppose during my first pregnancy I had much more opportunity to catch up on sleep at the weekends but that was less of an option second time. DD was also a bad sleeper so I was up several times a night, which definitely didn't help!

MollyBdenum Tue 29-Jul-14 14:10:07

I found staying at home with a toddler far harder than my fairly physical shift work job when I was pregnant with DC1. However, a fairer comparison might be with working FT and then coming home to a toddler. Maybe someone who works party time could say which days are easier? I suspect that unless who have a toddler who sleeps well or you have done of luxury life with servants, pregnancy with a toddler is grim however you spend your daytime hours.

weebairn Tue 29-Jul-14 14:26:46

I work part time. I'd say on balance the toddler days are a bit easier and I certainly enjoy them more when she's not being a complete nightmare - but my job is quite stressful and I work on my feet. Also my toddler still naps for 1-2 hours in the day and I don't tend to get breaks at work, or only short ones.

Interestingly I think I sometimes cope less well with the toddler days even though I find them easier, as I think there is no option to rest or fall apart at work, whereas at on my days off I am always trying to sit on a bench or calling my boyfriend to shout "I'M NOT COPING" at him.

I have missed about 4 days work this pregnancy which is comparable to last pregnancy. I was full time then and EXHAUSTED, i stopped work at 32 weeks that time. I am now 31 weeks again and hoping to work till 36 this time, hoping it will be possible what with being part time. I have also put toddler in nursery a few times when I should have been looking after her because I was just too tired. I don't know - it's all hard!!

My boyfriend is incredibly helpful and does basically all the night times when the toddler doesn't sleep and really pulls his weight around the house - his job is less hours and less stress than mine but still I am incredibly fortunate in this. I am in awe of mums who do it on their own.

In my mind everything will be fine once the baby is out and I'm off work! And I don't want to hear otherwise, la la la smile

Eatscones Tue 29-Jul-14 14:31:01

Thanks for the responses! I agree with all of you .. I guess being pregnant is tiring in itself and each circumstance is a little different. Its probably just because I'm in the middle of this that it seems so demanding!

It depends on your job (and somewhat on your toddler and what exactly it is you expect of yourself at home) surely!

If you have a stressful and/ or physical job and a laid back toddler and a partner who still does a share of housework and cooking even when you are off, work is harder. If you have a fairly low stress office job with colleagues who you enjoy passing the time with, and a full on and stroppy/ moody toddler who no longer naps (or more than one) and a partner who thinks that if you are at home that means you automatically do absolutely everything child, food, house and in any way domestic related 24/7, being home is harder.

I was a secondary school teacher when pregnant with my first - that was harder than being home with my first (a laid back nearly 2 year old) when pregnant with my second, and was also harder than the part of my pregnancy with DC2 (from the start up until 7 months) while I was still childminding, so still had 3 under 2 some days, and always had more than 1 under 3 during working hours and than my pregnancy with DC3, during which my older 2 turned 5 and 3.

weebairn Tue 29-Jul-14 14:35:56

We should live in communes.

Waggamamma Tue 29-Jul-14 17:45:44

I work part time and I can hands down say my working days are far tougher going than my days at home with ds.

I have to commute by train to next city (15min walk to station, 30min train, 15min walk to office). At 34 weeks the journey alone is exhausting. I sit in a stuffy office for 8 hours, hot, headachey, queezy and busy! I then come home, pick up ds from childcare and have to do a rushed dinner and put him to bed on my own (dp works until midnight). We're both knackered and grumpy by this point and it's hellish. So thankful I only do it 3 days a week.

In contrast when I'm at home I don't have to go out if I don't want to, I can put the tv on for ds if I'm feeling really crap and we can fill our days with seeing friends and easy, fun activities like baking, painting, building blocks. It's a breeze.

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