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Help specific to pregnancy- worried

(8 Posts)
advice451 Sun 20-Jul-14 19:54:32

I previously posted last week about what's going on in my life but basically-
My grandma who I was very very close to passed away last Monday after a sudden fall. It was a huge shock. Then on Tuesday my mum took her own life. Which was an even bigger shock. She was so excited for her first grandchild.

I am 21 and I am 22 weeks pregnant.
I know the grief is something I have to come to terms with- but my main focus is that all this pain doesn't affect my poor baby.
I'm already considered high risk due to fainting episodes and low blood preassure.

How can I get help dealing with this which is specific to pregnancy? I am just so so worried my baby can feel my stress and he's all I have left to cling on to at the minute
Also someone mentioned bereavement during pregnancy can lead to PND which has petrified ne

seasavage Sun 20-Jul-14 19:58:12

Have you been offered any counselling or bereavement support? Your GP could refer you. Then you'd be able to discuss your fears with someone able to identify your changing mental health?

advice451 Sun 20-Jul-14 20:00:32

I spoke to my midwife on the Wednesday which was just 48 hours after I lost them both so I was still in shock as I am now - she gave me details for cruze which is bereavement support but I am scared more on a medical level I guess. Will bereavement teams pick up if I would need more medical attention?

hlc123 Sun 20-Jul-14 23:48:27

I am so sorry for your losses. During my first pregnancy I suffered from severe depression and anxiety and was terrified that all the stress would affect my baby but thankfully she was born perfectly healthy and is almost 8 now. I hope you get the support you need during this difficult time.

EllaBella220 Mon 21-Jul-14 01:21:14

What a horrible thing to be going through sad I am sorry you have to deal with such sad losses as well as stress about the baby. Please do speak to Cruse as I have some (very limited) experience in contact with them (regarding someone else) and every member of staff that I spoke to were fully invested in helping this person come to terms with his mothers suicide and he is finally getting counselling and it is making a huge difference to his grieving process (he's a kid and didn't fully understand at the time but they are helping him understand and come to terms with it). First and foremost the most important person right now is YOU. You need to help yourself and keep healthy so having the counselling would be a good step for you as sometimes just speaking about it helps.

I went through a very stressful time when pregnant with my 2nd child and thought all sorts of things were going to be wrong with him because I was so stressed and worried about the other thing that was going on but he was the most pleasant, chilled out baby I could have asked for and still is, 8 years later!

Look after yourself and in turn you are doing everything you can for your baby xx

Elekelly Mon 21-Jul-14 07:59:00

I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time, I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

My mum passed away to cancer almost two years ago but it still affects me to this day. My grief comes out in the form of anxiety so it makes everything so much more difficult to deal with. I'm 31 weeks pregnant now and have worried about how my mental health is affecting the baby but all you can do is try and stay as healthy and calm as possible - much easier said than done I know.

Eat healthy, try and sleep as much as you can and when you feel upset or anxious just focus on your little bump and try some breathing/relaxation techniques to maintain your blood pressure etc.

Your baby will be absolutely fine and so lucky to have a strong mum like you. Get as much help as you can from family, friends and also your GP/Midwife. Try not to worry about PND just now but it's good that you're aware of it already.

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. Take care x

Mistyautumn Mon 21-Jul-14 08:22:24

All I can say is that I am so so very sorry for your losses. as others have said, seek professional help for your sake. But don't worry about how it is affecting the baby.

Your baby will be just fine. My dad passed away unexpectedly in may when I was 5 months pg. it hurts like hell and still does but if nothing else baby will be there to remind you to keep eating and looking after yourself at this terrible time. Love and hugs to you and bump xxx

Peaceloveandbiscuits Mon 21-Jul-14 11:14:27

I'm so sorry for your losses; what a horrible shock for you sad are your family/partner being ultra supportive irl?
I understand your concerns for your baby, but you need to concentrate on YOU right now. Your baby is fine, tucked up inside, oblivious. The only danger is that you will take less care of yourself (not eating well, not being active, not taking any medication you need, deliberately harming yourself, etc) and that will affect your baby. Be really aware of your mental health and if you feel that you are really struggling, go to A&E or Labour triage to seek help. Cruse are very good too, but they won't be able to help you with pregnancy/medical issues. Poor you, it's an unbelievably sad situation sad best wishes.

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