I'm sure this has been done many times before but..
Me and OH are engaged this is our first baby. We had always discussed getting married first and I thought when I got pregnant we would get married before baby. At about 8 weeks OH announces he doesn't see any need to hurry although it's very important to me he didn't see any need and thought it was unimportant. I was mega upset at the time and said I don't want my baby not having my name if we don't get married he assured me he wants too. I said fine well it's mine till then he very hurt fully said he doesn't care what it is!! Well at 32 weeks now it never has been mentioned again.
He's been pretty crap all pregnancy he's done nothing to suport me emotionally and been pretty awful. He has a daughter which is another area of huge stress and I've really been through it the last few months. It's been a effort to get him to wash a plate let alone look after me until recently when we had an enormous row about it last week..
Today BIL says what's the surname and he pipes up his!! I said that's up for debate.. He says it's not I say very clearly it is!! Now I'm not happy that a) he thinks it's just going to be his after we discussed it was mine and b) that no mention has been made of getting married ever since..
Even MIL thinks he's been pretty nasty. I don't feel he deserves the name and right now I don't know if we will be together to get married or anything else- he is oblivious.. He hasn't bought it up again either so what do I do? I don't want to be a single parent with a child that's not got my name it's sensitive already as dsd has different names and I don't want to be even more the odd one out in this set up.
I'm double barrelled surname so not triple barelling it..
Basically do I stick to my guns bring it up or shut up and wait till baby is born and tell him it's tough? So far I've really needed his support and he's not given it emotionally at all and it's really put me through it we should be closer surely now and planning a future ?? He just assumes it will all be fine and doesn't listen..
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Surname disputes!
43 replies
Elizabeth120914 · 18/07/2014 22:11
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