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Scared of what people are going to say

(13 Posts)
Claire129 Wed 16-Jul-14 22:45:44

Hi
I've just found out I'm preggers with my 5th baby and I'm nervous and worried for usual reasons. My dh works shifts which are fine and I work part time, my other children are 14, 12, 7 and 17 maths and when I told people we were having a fourth I got some funny reactions and some negative responses too. Now I'm expecting number 5 and I'm so scared how people will react. They'll query space, time and the big question why?? What do I say and why do I care?? I've enough to worry and contend with without feeling like this, please tell me I'm not alone x

UML Wed 16-Jul-14 23:45:30

Congrats! smile

People react negatively for all sorts of reasons... It may appear to you to be about number but it could very much be about anything - maybe they wish they could have more but couldn't manage it themselves...

Maybe think about something jokey to say back to make it easier for you to communicate that you are happy and don't care about what people think!

Your kids are very lucky to grow up in a big family smile

Madrigals Wed 16-Jul-14 23:56:51

Sorry to hear you are worried about this thanks

In case it helps I am v jealous envy met DH v late and have 1 DS and 1 on the way, so too late to have the big family I always wanted. You are a lucky bunch!

TestingTestingWonTooFree Thu 17-Jul-14 06:34:59

No direct experience, but I think you need to announce with confidence. Do it apologetically and people will be more inclined to question you. Make it clear that this is intentional and good news and it's harder to be rude.

ImBrian Thu 17-Jul-14 07:17:27

I'm pregnant with number 5 and the majority of people haven't commented. A few friends have said you must be mad etc but I just ignore them as they're happy for me, just can't get their heads round having 5.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

AllYouNeedIsTea Thu 17-Jul-14 08:52:48

I agree with the poster who said announce it with confidence not apologetically. This is your life, this is what you want and you and your family will make it work.

Our situation is very similar to yours-Dh works shifts and i work part time- and i had the same anxieties about announcing our third. We've had a few people tell us we must be mad but generally people have been supportive.

StrawberryMouse Thu 17-Jul-14 09:09:11

My friend is from a big family and she loves it! Congratulations! Don't worry about what anybody says, it's your family, not theirs.

ShovettyMcShovetty Thu 17-Jul-14 11:29:33

maybe they wish they could have more but couldn't manage it themselves...

Exactly this I would think! If you can manage 5, huge well done to you and congratulations! thanks

Jodie1982 Thu 17-Jul-14 11:46:57

I had the exact same fears as you Hun. I'm currently 9wks 4days with bubby no.5 was very nervous about telling my mum n sister, I told my sis at 7wks over what's app messenger lol but she was actually happy for me and I told my mum when I was 8wks, I got a few negative comments but I told her that I'm happy, and she's not the one having to look after the bubby, I am and DP is, but she was more concerned about my health as I suffer severe SPD. It's nobody else's concern but ours. My other children won't b finding out till after I know all is ok from the first scan, I'm nervous about telling my 12yr old daughter! She's voiced her opinion before about more children lol she just wants her own room, I've got to find a bigger home now, that's another worry of mine! But try not to worry. It's ur life. Your bubby to love n look after. Jo x

ProbablyMe Thu 17-Jul-14 11:58:24

My DP and I are trying to have our first baby together, however it's my 5th (older boys are 17, 15, 13 and 11) and DP's 3rd (his DD's are 9 and 7). We're very excited about the prospect of having a baby together and we're in a very good place financially etc but I'm already concerned about telling my family if and when it actually happens. They never found it in themselves to be pleased when I told them I was expecting the boys (although to be fair ex-husband and I had some issues - largely financial) which probably contributed to this and I don't expect anything different now. They did come round in the end though and adore the boys I'm happy to say. Also, my sis has been been trying for baby #2 for years now after having a hard time conceiving #1 and I'm afraid she will get very upset and I don't want to hurt he and my BIL. Oh well, I may be worrying over nothing and it may never happen anyway.

Keeri2014 Thu 17-Jul-14 20:20:04

Hello I have the implant, I have had it for over a year now and have had two periods whilst being on this, I usually get tender boobs a week before I come on. But recently in have had extremely sore and tender breast has lasted for now bout 3 weeks. And I never usually have it for this long. But there are no other signs of my time of month and doesn't seem like it will be coming any time soon. My sister and friend say to do pregnancy test should I? And are we just jumping to conclusion to early.

Claire129 Mon 28-Jul-14 22:09:05

Thank you so much everyone for your lovely comments, I'm still scared and worried as I know there is a stigma attached to large families and we don't have much space but we both work and have lots of love. I work part time and will continue to after baby is born and my husband works full time. I know the kids will be fine but what also scares me is my youngest is my little princess and what if I can't connect like I have with the others? I really appreciate you all taking the time to answer me xxxx

dancestomyowntune Tue 29-Jul-14 07:03:59

i am in the same position as you. i have just found out i am pregnant with dc5 & whilst dh and i are thrilled we are bracing ourselves for the backlash.

i have a grandmother wgmho believes everyone should have two children, so i already have double her quota!

congratulations grin

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