Hi everyone,
I'm aware that the subject of heavy drinking in early pregnancy has been discussed many times before so I don't really know anything new that can be said.
I recently found out I was 4 weeks pregnant which would have been great but for the fact I had been drinking so heavily within the last couple of weeks. My husband and I decided to have one last holiday blowout before ttc in late summer. Drink led to one instance of unprotected sex and two weeks later I had a positive pregnancy test. I had been drinking an average of 10 units a day for those two weeks. Never drunk but maybe that says something about me.
I've spent the week since my positive test in tears. I'm so certain I've damaged the baby that I'm booked in for an abortion consultation next week. I don't want an abortion but I also don't want to have damaged my baby. I've tried to think positive thoughts about the baby but it doesn't work. I know that if anything at all is wrong with it I'll blame myself. I just don't think I can cope with 9 months of feeling this bad.
I'd love a fresh start but it seems like that's an impossibility now. If I have an abortion I don't know if I'll have regrets and I have higher risks of pre term birth next pregnancy.
I've read all the stories of people who drank at least as much as me for even longer but it doesn't make me feel better. Nothing makes me feel better.
I'm sorry to unload, particularly for those people desperate for a baby who can't believe my stupidity. Believe me, you couldn't hate me more than I hate myself.
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Pregnancy
Can't decide
87 replies
cantdecide83 · 13/07/2014 18:59
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