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Bonding with bump

(18 Posts)
youbuggerz Fri 11-Jul-14 23:52:30

Im 26 weeks pregnant with DD but not sure that I've bonded with her and I'm worried I won't when she's here. I'm not a natural maternal although I nearly Welled up at both the scans. Just wondered if anyone felt the same?

youbuggerz Sat 12-Jul-14 00:00:17

Think it's possibly down to having some family issues recently and suffering from depression anyway.

Ludways Sat 12-Jul-14 00:12:05

I don't understand bonding with a bump, I had to wait till I could look them in the eyes and even then it wasn't instant with my first, it took 2 weeks then it was like a sledgehammer in the chest. With dd is was instant and like a warm glow call over.

Congratulations on the pg

youbuggerz Sat 12-Jul-14 00:18:39

Thank you, that makes me feel a bit better x

Missingcaffeine Sat 12-Jul-14 14:16:36

I felt very distant from bump, until one day he hardly moved (around 26 weeks) after being very active every day for weeks, and I was so upset that something might be wrong, it made me realise I loved him. Having said that, I wouldn't worry if you don't feel connected - I think it's totally normal as if you're a first time mum, it's really hard to equate a bump to an actual baby!

mssleepyhead Sat 12-Jul-14 14:34:20

I couldn't attach the bump to a baby at all and felt completely disconnected. I think I was worried about something going wrong. In the end I booked a scan at 30 weeks; it was incredible. One minute the sonographer was just happily checking the brain, spine etc. then suddenly our baby's face was looking back at us! That changed everything and now i find I can imagine the little bumps and nudges being arms and legs. I feel much more bonded now : ) may be something to consider?

Pico2 Sat 12-Jul-14 14:55:06

I don't really get bonding with a baby before it arrives. I adore my DD, but I didn't feel anything much towards her before she arrived.

itiswhatitiswhatitis Sat 12-Jul-14 15:00:48

I wasn't a bump bonder either. Never really felt the connection between the bump being a baby. Didn't affect the way I felt when ds arrived though.

youbuggerz Sat 12-Jul-14 18:45:48

Thank you guys!

happylittlevegemites Sat 12-Jul-14 21:30:54

I switch between apathy and dislike of my bump. Doesn't worry me too much, I was the same with my last pregnancy. Had a two day labour and emcs, but the next morning I bonded completely with him, I'm sure I'll be the same this time (well, hoping the 2 day labour won't happen again!!).

youbuggerz Sun 13-Jul-14 00:36:35

Good luck for a quick and easy labour Vegemite x

youbuggerz Sun 13-Jul-14 00:36:47

If there is such a thing!

ElleDubloo Sun 13-Jul-14 20:36:26

I'm an FTM and I go through ups and downs with my bump. If I'm feeling relaxed I can lie in bed and rub it and talk to it and feel wonderfully close to it. If I'm busy (e.g. at work) the only aspects I think about are the aches and pains and the "funny tummy feelings" and sometimes even forget I'm pregnant.

happylittlevegemites Sun 13-Jul-14 20:44:49

Thanks! I'm booked for a c-section this time, so it should all be ok (don't anyone DARE tell me otherwise!!!).

ohthegoats Sun 13-Jul-14 21:03:27

I don't have a relationship with my 'bump' - it's a pain in the neck, constantly getting in the way etc. I can't 'love' my bump either, or even what's in it - it's a person I've never met, and essentially an abstract thing to me at the moment. I'm not worried, I just want it out!

BumpNGrind Mon 14-Jul-14 01:01:07

I've started singing twinkle twinkle whenever I'm alone (my voice is hideous). I've found it easier to try and do something to bond rather than worry. I swear that the baby now recognises the song and that's a nice feeling. Good luck

SnowPetrel Mon 14-Jul-14 01:06:16

No bonding with either bump for me! No full-blown visceral parental love until 3-4 months either. Then I realised they were clearly the best people ever, in the history of the world, and I wanted to spend all my time with them!

SnowPetrel Mon 14-Jul-14 01:07:11

Until they were 3-4 months old, that is.

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