Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.
ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
Unplanned pregnancy and I've done everything wrong!(25 Posts)
Need some advice, if anyone can help.
I've found out this afternoon (about an hour and a half ago) that I'm pregnant. Bit unexpected. Ok, completely unexpected! We have 2 gorgeous DC already (4 and 2), and in a good financial position so it's not the end of the world. Though I think I'm in shock.
Not sure how many weeks. In fact, I don't have a clue. My trousers still fit, though that's a bit unscientific. My periods have been really irregular since I had DD 2 years ago, so I've been lazy about tracking them as there wasn't much point. Also, we were using contraception so I didn't think I needed to know if I was late. Last one was maybe 5/6 weeks ago, but I remember it was noticeably light. More than spotting but definitely light. So I guess I could be as much as 10 or 11 weeks?
And I've done everything you shouldn't do. Well, I haven't had any illegal drugs, but I have been on antibiotics, drunk wine, eaten liver/pate, eaten cambembert, taken cod liver oil... It reads like a horror story of what not to do when pregnant.
I'm really worrying about what harm I could have done. Does anyone have any advice? What is the risk I've harmed the baby?
I've made an appointment for a private scan next week as it'll be weeks before the nhs see me. I can't stop my head worrying though. Please reassure me (if there's anything to reassure me about) and save me from googling... x
Unless you have been daily binge drinking, most unlikely any harm. Relax, all will be well. Best of luck with your scan. And congratulations!
Step away from google!!
I think you are in a similar position to many people when they first find out if it isn't planned. Ok, so there are things we are all advised not to do. However most of what you have described above poses small risks as far as I am aware. Pretty sure my mum was told to eat liver when PG in the 80's. I found out I was PG with DD1 xmas eve and had gone to three works do's prior to that, so plenty wine. I'm no medical professional, have a chat with your m/w or GP, but I don't think you need worry too much......and congratulations!
Thanks for replying Cheerymum. Do you really think so? I haven't been binge drinking. Have maybe 2 glasses a week, sometimes 3/4. It gives me a headache at small volumes these days. Because my other pregnancies were planned, I was completely by the book. I feel like this is the extreme opposite!
It'll be fine! This happens to so many women. How do you know it'll be weeks before you get an nhs scan? Surely because you don't know the dates they'd book you in sooner rather than later for a dating scan? I expect you're just worrying because of the shock
It will be fine
Most of what you have done, if it had an effect on the baby (eg illness from eating pate) you would have known by now anyway.
And yes most of what you have is what people you have an unexpected pg have done. And tbh I have done most of what you have in my very planned pregnancies too.
Enjoy your pg
It'll be fine. I drank more in early pregnancy and none if my HCPs have been concerned (obviously advise against it). Congratulations!
Zero evidence for harm at those levels of alcohol, (not advocating deliberate alcohol in pregnancy, but seriously, it'll be ok) and you'd know by now if the pate was a problem. Chill and enjoy.
Most of the advice is to stop you from getting sick, as that increases chance of miscarrying - if you haven't been sick, and for that matter haven't miscarried then it definitely hasn't had an effect.
Other stuff such as smoking, drinking, lots of tuna (due to heavy metals) and whatever may, in some cases, if done to heavy extent, cause birth weight and developmental issues.
It sounds like you haven't been over doing anything so...
I'm sure GP will refer for dating scan soon (I had mine morning after seeing them) so hopefully you'll get to see how far along you are soon.
Liver, red wine? Sounds like you've been following the recommendations from the 80s. Nothing in excess -you should be fine!
Thank you all! I'm sure you're all right. Wednesday isn't long to wait.
We have a new system to book in with the midwives here. You phone a number and do it direct, bypassing the gp. I've done that now and have a date for booking and scan on 8th August. So glad I've got the private date! August is an age away. I thought they would scan me sooner too, Honeybear, but the man on the phone said they don't do that.
I think the shock is wearing off. Very slowly....
You're not the first and you won't be the last. Crack open the folic acid and eat as well as you can manage, these things happen and you just make the best of it. The last light bleed sounds like it could have been implantation, if so you'd probably be about 8 weeks now.
I was the same OP with some non licensed prescription drugs chucked in for good measure.
Ds is a big strapping 7yo now with no discernible long term effects.
Don't worry! Lots of pregnancies are unexpected so lots of people unknowingly eat some pate and drink wine in early pregnancy and their babies are fine. The guidelines are for caution for example soft cheese is because of the risk of listeria but that doesn't mean that all or even most bits of Camembert has listeria so your bit of of Camembert most probably didn't. Relax, follow the food and drink recommendations from now but stop stressing about what you ate/drank before you knew, stress isn't good for you either!
Just popping back to say thank you all for your replies and perspective last week. Had my private scan yesterday and turns out I'm only about 5 weeks, so super early! The doctor suggested going back in 2 weeks if we wanted reassurance that everything is developing as expected, so think we might do that. Thanks again.
I've been on antibiotics all the way through my pregnant due to an existing condition. None of the doctors / nurses / consultants seem at all bothered.
Don't worry xxx
Most of the advice is to stop you from getting sick, as that increases chance of miscarrying - if you haven't been sick, and for that matter haven't miscarried then it definitely hasn't had an effect
Being sick (ie vomiting) has no bearing on miscarriage.
A handful of rather rare varieties of food poisoning (which make you sick AND worse) raise the risk, but these are like 20 cases in the UK per year rare.
When my mum was pregnant with me, she was on strict bedrest and advised by the doctor to drink a bottle of wine a day!! My mind still boggles that I've ended up ok despite this. This was in 1980 so by no means the dark ages but amazing how medical advice has changed...
Congrats on your pregnancy
kkllww that's amazing advice! I could do that. Sadly, I'm 30 years late! 'D'H, although delighted, keeps forgetting and asking if I would like a glass of wine, piece of banned cheese...
A friend of mine found out at 25 weeks she was pregnant, and had been drinking and all sorts before she found out - She even had a hangover at the doctors appointment and she has a beautiful daughter!
Squizita, I read it to mean 'stop you getting sick' as in 'unwell', not 'vomiting'. When you're pregnant, your immunity is lowered so that you don't reject the foetus, so you're more likely to develop listeriosis, toxoplasmosis etc. which can lead to miscarriage or birth defects.
OP, it's very, very unlikely that you've eaten or done anything that will have harmed your baby. Most of the advice given by the NHS is totally contradicted by the health authorities of other countries. As others have said, people have been having unplanned pregnancies forever.
so you're more likely to develop listeriosis, toxoplasmosis etc
You're more likely to suffer more extreme ill effects with these, they won't just develop if the parasite or germs are not there. A tiny but significant difference.
With one, 80% of us already have it and you're best off protecting yourself by wearing gloves to garden, cooking meat well and cleaning fruit and veg thoroughly (interestingly this is a higher risk than rare meat but they wouldn't want to ban veg for obvious reasons).
With the other, it is incredibly rare in the UK, and I think year-on-year 2-10 MCs are caused by it nationally. Again, interestingly some of the major causes are totally within all guidelines but much harder to monitor/cut out than brie etc'.
Unfortunately I know a lot about the causes of spontaneous loss.
I had major obsession and anxiety after some of my losses with 'the lists', and guilt/self questioning. Turned out finding how random the causes of spontaneous loss are were was liberating - it's impossible to be risk free.
However 90%+ of losses are inevitable, and losses due to foods extremely low indeed. (In my case, it turned out I had a clotting disorder anyway).
Follow the NHS guidelines and nothing more, they are plenty.
Also "more likely" is kind of meaningless. Let's say that around 20 people per year contract serious food poisoning of the level that can cause damage to a foetus. Also assume that pregnant women, with their lowered immunity, are twice as likely to contract these types of food poisoning than normal people. Twice as likely! Sounds scary!
So out of the 20 odd people who will contract serious, life threatening, food poisoning in the UK per year, 7 will be normal and 14 will be pregnant.
Your risk as a normal person is therefore around 7 in 60 million - so if you lived for 60 million years you'd only get serious food poisoning 7 times. As a pregnant women, your risk is 14 in 60 million. So mathematically twice as high, but realistically still incredibly unlikely.
I'm having a brie sandwich for lunch. Yum.
My understanding is that if OP had got listeriosis or any other kind of poisoning by now, she'd know about it. The risk is present but very tiny, every woman needs to decide for herself what level she is comfortable with. Obviously the vast majority of losses are not things that could be prevented.
Squizita and east - I agree. 'More likely' was a poor choice of words. You're at greater risk of developing listeriosis from listeria and toxoplasmosis from toxoplasma, but it's still very unusual and uncommon. However, my attitude was that the effects of either of those conditions, however small the risk of developing them, outweighed the benefits of eating soft cheese and pInk meat, so I didn't.
Join the discussion
Please login first.