Anxiety/bad feeling in pregnancy and a healthy baby?

[Managua]

Any of you mums had anxiety about your baby's health and went on to have a healthy LO?

I've been struggling with anxiety and intrusive thoughts quite badly since about week 10, I'm 17 weeks now. Some of my fears are unreasonable and I manage to convince myself logically that they are just fears and some others have some grounds. But they all come down to one simple thing - I'm terrified something will be wrong with my baby. I have in fact a history of anxiety and was on medication until I found I was pregnant at 6 weeks. I stopped the meds for fear of them potentially causing autism - which is a bad fixation of mine.

I am seeking help, I am having hypnotherapy, pregnancy yoga and awaiting CBT on the NHS.
Because of my history of anxiety I can't tell the difference between anxiety and what the mother's intuition I hear so much about. I can't tell if these are intrusive thoughts or my subconscious telling me to prepare as something will be wrong. I can't confide much in DH as he's quite anxious too and seeing him scared just makes it worse for me. He's worst fear is what would happen to me if any if this comes true, he's worried about my life quite frankly. And as he has seen me at my worst I understand and try not to upset him with my thoughts.

Anybody had this and then found out that it was just pregnancy paranoia and had a healthy bubba?

[pixiestixie84]

Sorry you feel like this op, it's stressful enough during pregnancy without the added pressure of anxiety I have similar issues- during my pregnancy I worried about pretty much everything you could and found it emotionally very difficult being pregnant (physically I was fine!). I now have a healthy 4 month old baby girl and none of my worries were 'mother's intuition'. I think when you have an over active imagination you don't have any intuition! A nurse told me the two key things to look out for are bleeding and feeling very ill yourself.
HTH

[squizita]

Yes.

For example almost every woman has this experience if they have a miscarriage and then get pregnant again. These pregnancies have the same outcomes as any other i.e. 92% of the babies are fine, 3% have a treatable condition and only 1% have a severe condition.
During the pregnancy, most of these women's 'intuition' will be telling them disaster is round the corner!

Not to mention those with anxiety or who had a 'scare' such as suddenly realising they're pregnant.

It sounds like classic prenatal anxiety (I have it too!) and intrusive thoughts - you need to push for a perinatal psych team to support you, or it can become pretty overwhelming and tough for you (baby will be fine).

[rootypig]

I had an anxious pregnancy. I am not an anxious person, but my pregnancy came at a stressful time, and there are also contributing factors in my background (older sister born with disability following an illness my mum had in pregnancy).

My DD was born utterly perfect and healthy at 41 weeks, more than 8lbs. She is a happy, healthy nearly two year old. My anxiety lingered a long time after she was born (in some ways it worsened) and there are still vestiges.... I hope it's not the case for you, but be aware of the possibility.

All the therapies you mention sound like fab ideas. Anxiety and intrusive thoughts often can be controlled. I managed to keep a handle on mine.

I would also recommend the author Pema Chodron. She is an American Buddhist monk (nun?!?!) and I find her writing calming and illuminating.

Fwiw, now I have had a couple of years with DD, mother's intuition is about knowing your child - their moods, appetite, habits, among other things. In pregnancy your body is haywire - if I'd followed my intuition in my first trimester, I would have thought I was dying!

[Managua]

pixiestixie84 That's a very good point that an overactive imagination means you can have no intuition! And I know I tend to over worry and over think everything :(

squizita thanks for the cold reassuring numbers :) on a good day I can see it that way, on a bad day I keep seeing "signs" and convince myself I am doomed. I even keep telling my baby that if something is wrong it's better that I miscarry as wouldn't cope:(

I made it very clear to my midwife that j am struggling and that I am finding very difficult mentally and emotionally. I've been referred for CBT and just waiting for a letter confirming where and when to come through. I the meantime I am trying hypnotherapy on my own accord as just had to do something! With my history I am not surprised I am feeling like this, hope it won't develop into prenatal depression (pretty sure I will have PND anyway but I am prepared to go back on meds ASAP).

[FirstTimeMom2]

Managua, did your baby turn out fine? I'm facing similar issues now -I have extreme anxiety over baby's health, loosing sleep, and now worry that the baby will be damaged by all the cortisol my body is cosntantly producing..I'm 15 weeks now.

[Namebot]

I had severe ante-natal anxiety - my baby was perfectly fine but they pregnancy was horrendous. I had hyperemesis and was having extra monitoring because of an under lying health condition I had. My midwife was excellent and I had input from the peri natal mental health team ( I was know to them due to previous PND). All I can advise is to ask for as much help as possible and speak about your fears.

[BewareOfTheToddler]

I was very anxious when I was pregnant with my DS as my mother had had a late term stillbirth. As my pregnancy wasn't planned, I was convinced something would go horribly wrong.

Short version: it didn't, other than him being two weeks late and refusing every medical trick known to man to smoke him out the EMCS eventually did the trick. He was 8 lbs 8 oz and perfect. And is currently fast asleep aged two having given DP hell because I'm stuck on a train.

So it really will be ok. But get some help - I left it far too long before I did, and it would have made all the difference.

[onemoremummy]

Yes yes and yes. I was massively worried from 6 weeks until perhaps 32 weeks pregnant when I had a private scan and saw my baby's face. I worried my baby would have birth defects, Down syndrome, autism etc etc etc. I worried about everything, and just couldn't understand why my husband wasn't worried too!!! I felt he would eventually see there was something wrong with the baby. So I understand you not being able to distinguish anxiety from some kind of intuition.

CBT really helped - once I found a therapist that does TRUE CBT rather than the watered down version a lot of therapists do.

And yes my baby is absolutely fine, she's the most perfect baby ever, if I may say so. Try to remember that nothing that we worry about ever happens!!!

[onemoremummy]

Another thing to show you that you can't really trust your mind when you're anxious - depending on what the worry of the day was, I kept seeing "signs" that my worry would come true. For example if I was worrying about Down syndrome then there would be lots of news about Down syndrome, and id be convinced it was a sign! But it wasn't. There is a name for that in cbt but I can't remember what it was!!

[Imnotatypicalsausage]

Anxiety is horrible isn't it. I'm anxious too - had IVF and so can't shake the feeling that I'm in the unlucky camp (although of course I'm in the lucky camp of people it eventually worked for - altho baby not born yet so anxiety telling me something can still go wrong!). I've had CBT before and agree with PP it's important your therapist knows what they are doing, so fingers crossed for you to get someone appropriately qualified. The trouble is that what feels like "intuition" is actually the anxiety tricking you every since time. That's why it is so potent! Anxiety is constantly trying to prepare you for the worst outcome because it thinks that will help you cope with it - it doesn't of course, it just makes you feel bad all the time.

The fact is that there is a possibility something will go wrong. The likelihood is it won't. Neither of these things are related to how you feel about it. You cope better with whatever is thrown your way than your brain tells you that you can. In all honesty, CBT techniques get me so far but what really keeps me (just) on the straight and narrow is mindfulness. Again, you need to do this "properly" and not think it's the quick fix that is bandied about in the media. However there are lots of good apps to introduce you to it (e.g. Headspace) and yoga will help too. I found Tara Brach's podcasts really soothing as well.

I think it's really great you are being so proactive in getting help and it's by no means a foregone conclusion you will get PND, so don't convince yourself of that either!

[Imnotatypicalsausage]

Oh just realised this is a zombie thread!

However probably all the replies are relevant to you @FirstTimeMom2 who resurrected it. And probably to other people worrying as well.

[UnderTheDesk]

I was horribly anxious in pregnancy, at one stage I even convinced myself that the baby had died. Nope, she's now a perfectly happy and healthy eighteen-month-old. I was also very stressed about downs and autism, but she doesn't have downs and is not showing any signs of being zutistic.

It did take me a while after she was born to stop being anxious about her, but I didn't develop pnd luckily.

Good luck, Op. try not to listen to the crazy in your head, it's lying to you.

[Naomi2007]

I had horrendous anxiety from the minute I found out I was pregnant until the minute I had my baby. I was so scared something was wrong constantly. It wore me out mentally. It was the first thing I thought of in the morning and the last thing I thought of at night. I wanted to just stay in bed because I that was my "safe place". I however did force myself to get up, go places, socialise. It's not an easy ride when you suffer with anxiety or any other mental health in life let alone pregnancy but all I can say to people is do speak to your doctor, your midwives. They may be able to give you more frequent appointments to put your mind at ease ( I personally felt like the lack of antenatal care you get is poor).

[FirstTimeMom2]

Thank you Ladies! Reading this is so reassuring!! I am constantly anxious - i was diagnosed with anxiety long time ago and with pregnancy the symptoms went absolutely crazy. I worry about the fumes I'm breathing in on the street, the food I'm eating, the cosmetics I'm using, the sleplees nights, the shortness of breath when stressed to the max, and, most of all, I worry about worrying - about the cortisol I'm producing and how it must be terribly affecting the baby (I tend to read too much...Google is certainly not my friend). I'm doing the best I can now to relieve the symptoms - go for long walks, talk to people, drinking herbal teas, doing deep breathing etc. This helps a bit but certainly doesnt take away the anxiety entirely. I've tried CBT but in my country it's very expensive so I can't afford regular sessions. Any other ladies there who worried in pregnancy to the point they thought they would go crazy and still have healthy happy babies? Also, any other tips of how to get anxiety down would be appreciated! Thank you so much again Ladies!

[Imnotatypicalsausage]

Try the free mindfulness apps x

[lydiangel83]

@Imnotatypicalsausage what is a zombie tread?

The title of this thread caught my attention as I am 28 wks first time mum and whilst delighted to be pregnant don't feel very maternal and am still carrying on my life as normal a little in denial of changes due to come. Is this ante natal depression? Very low moored, irritable with everyone and feel pressure to act delighted all the time when actually terrified!

[GlitterSparkles17]

I've felt a bit like this throughout my whole pregnancy, im 31 weeks and suffer from anxiety. Im not on meds or anything and haven't ever had CBT.

I have this strange feeling that I cant explain, I can just be sat at work and suddenly get this feeling of dread like something bad is going to happen. I cant explain it, it sometimes happens when I feel the baby move as well, this feeling just comes over me, its not nice.

I've been told im having a healthy baby, no reasons to worry, although im measuring slightly bigger than I should be, having the GTT test next week to rule out GD.

It's probably normal to have feelings of anxiety, having a new baby is a huge life change.

[FirstTimeMom2]

Naomi, did your anxiety subside after birth? Has your baby turned out fine?

[Momtobe88]

Hi ladies,
Currently going through awful anxiety like you’ve mentioned above. I’m 37 weeks and at about 20 weeks I mistakenly went online and googled too much, and now am convinced my baby will have issues because of how much worrying I’ve been doing, and the cortisol being released from my body. Any updates on your babies? Would love some reassurance that everything could still turn out okay so I can’t get out of my head!

[cmeiix]

Hello @Momtobe88 do you have any updates? I’ve been overthinking too. I really hope your baby is fine xx

[Momtobe88]

Hi @cmeiix yes! She’s almost a year now and totally perfect! She’s very smart and a very happy baby! It’s so hard not to worry, I still do sometimes about the future, but just try to take it day by day, everything will turn out okay!

[cmeiix]

Thank you so much @Momtobe88 for replying!
This helps me a lot, I’m 35 weeks and I’ve been worrying constantly, and I just needed someone who went through the same situation, it is good to know that your baby is smart, happy and healthy!

have you been worrying during your pregnancy daily? Because I am, and I can’t control my anxiety, I still sleep and eat well, but even though I try to avoid overthinking, I can’t.

did you do something in particular to avoid overthinking during the last weeks of pregnancy?
Were you able to give birth without having a panic attack?


sorry for having so many questions xx

[Momtobe88]

No problem @cmeiix ! As a chronic over thinker I understand completely!

I was actually happy to go into labor so I could worry all I wanted without feeling like I was going to harm my DD.

Mumsnet was actually a great tool that helped me, I wish I had found it earlier into my pregnancy. Hearing about others who had gone through it and everything turned out okay was really what helped me. Don’t be sorry about any questions, like I said knowing others also are going through or went through this really helps.