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Those of you who say "it's easier having a newborn and a toddler than being pregnant with a toddler", please step this way.

(36 Posts)
matwork Sun 22-Jun-14 22:33:07

36 weeks with dc2 here and feel brain dead most of the time, or shattered, or distracted...

I loved my maternity leave first time round (took the full year, and plan to do the same again this time) but I can't imagine ever feeling energetic or engaged enough to make the most of it. It's been tough juggling work so maybe once that's out the way (mat leave starts this week) I'll be able to focus and chill (with a 2.5yo?!?!) and switch into Engaged Proactive Mummy Mode.

But I fear I'll want to sit on the sofa browsing on Pinterest or MN whilst relying on a peppa pug DVD to entertain my poor DD who, quite frankly, deserves more. Can't even begin to imagine how I'll find the energy to enable a newborn to thrive?!

I've heard people say they found it easier once dc2 had arrived rather than being pregnant with a toddler in tow. I'm seriously hoping I find the same. Haven't had a difficult pregnancy or anything, I'm just so zombiefied.

Needaninsight Sun 22-Jun-14 22:36:57

I heard that a lot. Frankly, it's not easier imo - sorry! I have a 7 week old and a 20 month old and I'm finding it very tough. However, your child is older, so it should be easier? hopeful

meerschweinchen Sun 22-Jun-14 22:41:48

I have to agree, I found it easier with 2 than being pregnant with one!

I also didn't have a difficult pregnancy, but did feel fed up of being fat and hot and unable to chase after my toddler easily! In comparison, having a newborn was easier. One, my second baby was much easier than my first, and just slotted in to family life. He pretty much slept for the first 6 weeks, and all the lovely newborn snuggles made up for the lack of sleep. And I could sleep on my front, eat what I wanted (no more heartburn) and I just generally felt so much better.

And congratulations! Second time around my mat leave has flown by, and my little newborn is now 9 months. Make the most of it. I love having two, and I did wonder how I'd ever cope. You'll be fine!

Layl77 Sun 22-Jun-14 22:46:32

I found it easier. I wasn't as tired (even with bf numerous times at night) or fat sweaty hormonal achy.

matwork Sun 22-Jun-14 22:50:09

DD was a winter baby so no heat to contend with then. And I'm missing sleeping on my front and my back - good points!

I'm much bigger this time (no time for the gym now) so that's not helping I guess.

Just daunting thinking that I might feel exhausted for another couple of years and things have definitely just got easier with dd now....

standingonlego Sun 22-Jun-14 22:50:30

Easier here too smile 2nd time around just took DS2 along with us, he BF well, newborn sleep more than you think and was a much more relaxed baby than DS1. And you are more confident too which helps.

I had DS2 in hot hot weather and felt better the moment he arrived smile

Locketjuice Sun 22-Jun-14 22:58:24

I don't find it much different having a 10 month old and 2.5 year old.
All I can remember back to is having to do them together (bottles,baths,bed, meals etc)

beccajoh Sun 22-Jun-14 23:04:36

I'm in the easier with two camp, for the sole reason that the little energy sucking parasite is now no longer solely dependent on you via the umbilical cord, and can be handed to other people whilst sleep.

Also for me, and this is key, baby no.2 is way easier than baby no.1 was. He actually sleeps, which is helpful. This might not be the case for everyone of course.

Me! I find newborns easy though, its when they're mobile I start to struggle... DD is 5 weeks and the last 4 weeks have been much easier than nt last 4 weeks if pregnancy.

BaldHedgehog Sun 22-Jun-14 23:36:47

Watching with interest...

Exactly 2 years gap here- DC2 just about to arrive. I'm still wondering how will I manage with DS's being so clingy and getting into right rage when i give 5 seconds of attention to another child?

lornemalvo Sun 22-Jun-14 23:42:49

Definitely found it easier with 3 under 4s than pregnant and looking after 2 under 4s. Being pregnant whilst looking after young children is hard. Once this one is born you'll feel much better.

hartmel Mon 23-Jun-14 04:23:06

Following with interest!

Currently have a 9 month old son who can't walk or crawl yet. But wants to get into everything, and I'm 22 weeks pregnant with dc2 (by the time she is born DS will be 13 1/2 month old)

So far it is ok but the bigger my bump goes the harder it is for me to carry DS. And he is very clingy and wants all the attention he can get..

JoandMax Mon 23-Jun-14 04:52:24

I found the last few weeks of pregnancy really hard with a 19 month old. I was absolutely massive, swollen ankles, SPD, couldn't get comfy at all and had zero energy. It was difficult lifting DS1 and doing baths etc. He watched a lot of cbeebies!

Once DS2 was born I felt a million times better, a different kind of tired but easier to cope with. After the first couple of weeks recovering (ELCS) we pretty much went back to normal and DS2 happily slotted in.

Shahsham Mon 23-Jun-14 05:05:39

It is hard with a toddler and newborn but easier than toddler and pregnant cos:

Im no l

mamachelle Mon 23-Jun-14 05:07:05

same as lornemalvo. i also had 3 under 4 and found it so much easier than being pregnant with toddlers.

even if they are well behaved (mine werent!) i find that toddlers are mentally and physically demanding. they are brilliant fun but very tiring.

Shahsham Mon 23-Jun-14 05:10:55

Argh on phone!

Im no longer sick everyday
I can physically move a lot easier
Im not so hot
I sleep better and easier (no more insomnia!)
My feet,ankles and back dont hurt anymore
Im not going to the toilet every 10 minutes
I can properly hug DS1 and carry him

It would be a hell of a lot easier if DS1 (2.9) slept as well as DS2 (7 weeks)!!!

Still, I recommend accepting any help going and try to shower/get dressed/eat before DH leaves for work in the morning!

CaramellaDeVille Mon 23-Jun-14 05:29:59

My ds1 is nearly 4 so it's a bigger gap but even with a terrible sleeper I'm finding it infinitely easier since the baby was born. And finding her so much easier than DS as we know what we are doing and what to expect. Best of luck, I'm sure you'll feel much better once the baby arrives.

PastaandCheese Mon 23-Jun-14 06:49:40

Definitely easier IME. It's physically easier but also all the worry about how you'll cope and how the siblings will get on is answered so mentally you're in a better place.

OwlCapone Mon 23-Jun-14 06:53:11

I found it easier being pregnant with toddler.

Obviously this is going to depend on how easy you find pregnancy - for me, pregnancy was a breeze.

matwork Mon 23-Jun-14 08:35:59

Thank you all!

I think it's the lack of headspace that's all-consuming but then as I mentioned I'm not physically as in good shape either. Feel a bit guilty to no2 already as it's just not as exciting second time around when you know how hard work it can be.

Also antsy about how well I'll be able to keep dd entertained whilst on maternity leave before the baby arrives. I'm used to working 4 days a week so rather shame-facedly I feel out of practice being a full time mum again.

Best of luck to those of you in a similar situation abd well done to those already smashing it smile

deepbluetr Mon 23-Jun-14 08:49:40

Depends on your pregnancy.

I found having a baby and toddler harder than being pregnant with one.

Even harder was having a 1 year old and a 3 year old though.

Sahkoora Mon 23-Jun-14 08:53:11

I think easier too. You have more energy and feel like yourself again. I suppose it depends on what your pregnancy was like as opposed to how difficult baby #2 is.

matwork Mon 23-Jun-14 08:58:48

Hmmm. Well the pregnancy has been ok but there's been more stresses in my life outside of that.

I found the last 18 months juggling work and a toddler exhausting emotionally and logistically. Am dreading going back after dc2 but should try not to think about that just yet!!

jammiecat Mon 23-Jun-14 09:18:56

I have two babies and a 3.5 year old and find it so much easier than when I was pregnant. I was practically on my knees by the time the twins arrived and my days alone with DS consisted entirely of the sofa and children's TV. I felt such a rubbish parent. Since the twins have arrived we go to the park, and I get to play with DS again whilst the babies sleep. It is so much better. Although I suspect once the twins can move there will be a whole heap of new challenges.

iamthedanger Mon 23-Jun-14 09:27:16

Another one here. Mine are now 3 and 5 but the hideousness of pregnancy with a toddler has never left me. Exhausted, sick etc with a two year old was just awful. As soon as ds2 arrived things became infinitely easier and I actively enjoyed the baby/toddler time (the terrible 2s second time round was another matter mind :-))

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