34+2 with my second and I'm actually starting to feel quite scared by the prospect of having to give birth. I was in labour for 26 hours with DD before eventually having an EMCS, so I feel like I've experienced the worst of both worlds - the pain of labour and the painful recovery from a CS.
I need to decide soon whether I want a planned CS or try for a VBAC, and I really don't know. I'm terrified of being in pain for hours, of ending up needing forceps, of tearing so badly that things are never the same again down there. I'm terrified of spending ages in labour only to have to have another EMCS. But I'm also terrified of a planned CS, of weeks of feeling like my insides are going to fall out, of being scared to laugh, of having to spend days in hospital away from my little girl and then coming home and not being able to pick her up for a cuddle or sit her on my lap. I'm scared of having to inject myself every day for six weeks with blood thinners - my stomach was black and blue afterwards.
Basically, I just don't want to have to do this again, in any way. Bit late, eh?
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I don't think I want to give birth.
33 replies
TheBookofRuth · 16/06/2014 22:03
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