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How and when are you planning on telling your dc?

(13 Posts)
DitzyDonkey Sat 14-Jun-14 19:23:02

I have an 8 year old ds. I'm planning on telling him after my twelve week scan (do you think this is too early?)

I am thinking of getting him a t shirt that says "I'm a Big Brother" and seeing if he guesses from there. I know it's kind of silly but we have been trying years to get here so I want to make all the little moments memorable! grin

SomeSunnySunday Sat 14-Jun-14 20:06:53

I think that's sweet. I have a 5 and a half year old and a 3 year old. I am hoping to get away with not telling them until after my 20 week scan, although I think that that might be optimistic. I'm 13 weeks now. I want them to hear it from DH & I, and not just overhear it, but I'm keen to limit the months and months of hype. I imagine by 8 he'll have more of a concept of time, though? Mine, especially my little one, won't really understand that I'm having a baby but not for 6 months.

Marnierose Sat 14-Jun-14 20:07:05

I would wait until 20 weeks but I am very nervous and negative when pregnant. Love the idea of the tshirt though smile

DitzyDonkey Sat 14-Jun-14 20:14:55

I saw a lovely t shirt on amazon, you can choose from a variety of colours! I'm stupidly excited. But also wary as I had a mc in November!

EllaBella220 Sat 14-Jun-14 20:44:36

Love that idea! I have an 8 year old (and a 12 year old) and he understood how long it can take (he's used to us blathering on about holidays for months) and is really interested in the things that are happening and he can't wait to feel the baby kick.....although every time she is kicking and he puts his hand near, she stops! I told my kids as soon as we found out. The 8 year old is very rough playing and likes to box and tackle us. He wouldn't try it with me very often but there had been an occasion earlier that week of him saying let's box and jiggling my belly about. We also didn't want our parents to know before our kids because we think they are old enough to keep a secret and didn't think it fair that other family members knew before them. The 12 year old especially would have been put out so we decided to tell them before anyone else.

Madrigals Sat 14-Jun-14 20:48:58

My DS is 3 - 12 week scan is in a fortnight. I'm thinking I will have to do it after 12 week scan as I'm showing already and other people will be told at the 12 week scan.

PenguinsHatchedAnEgg Sat 14-Jun-14 22:07:00

We avoided telling our 5 and 3 year old until after the 20 week scan. I just didn't want them to know until after the anomaly scan - and I'm glad I didn't tell them after the 12 week scan as we didn't get notification we were high risk for Downs until two weeks later and thinking about how to tell them of awful news like Edwards would have added pressure.

I got away with it by not telling anyone else about the pregnancy either, aside from a few close family members who knew that the DC didn't know. I am sure some people guessed, but no one was stupid enough to directly say "Are you pregnant" in front of the kids.

Maybe as your son is 8 he'd be more able to cope if there was bad news though? (I'm sure there won't be, but I am very cautious about this stuff)

CarefullyAirbrushedPotato Sun 15-Jun-14 12:17:05

I'm only about 6 weeks but my nearly three year old clocked me already (she's not stupid and she was in on a medical apt). TBH although it's a bit unnerving it makes it easier to explain why mummy is acting so peculiarly (desperate for weird foods, nauseous, knackered, nursing aversion).

I keep saying that the seed might not stay and grow, but for now it seems to be. If anything happens I have no idea how I'd hide that from her anyway, or that I'd want to.

But I tell her everything, that's just the way we do it in our family.

DitzyDonkey Sun 15-Jun-14 12:52:00

careful I usually tell my ds everything also, so it feels weird him not knowing yet.

Though I wondering if he senses something as he drew a picture of me last night giving birth to a baby hmm maybe he watched one too many episode of OBEM grin which he loves btw!!!

Artistic Sun 15-Jun-14 13:40:22

I took my 7 year old to the 12 week scan which was also a combined Harmony test. First I went in & got the scan done to ensure everything was ok, then I took DD into the room & we re-scanned to 'look if God has put a baby inside'..what a thrill it was for her to 'find it' & hear the heart beat. She was very careful with the secret until the 20 week scan after which she's unstoppably announcing to her friends.

Glad I waited for the 12 week scan. If I hadn't done the Harmony test I'd have waited until the 20 week scan.

Off to look for those t-shirts now..smile

Madrigals Sun 15-Jun-14 13:58:36

Should have said that as I'm nearly 40 we are having Harmony, so that's another reason why we are telling at 12 weeks.

eastmidswarwicknightnanny Sun 15-Jun-14 16:12:09

I told my 3yr old early as was ill n couldn't play as much n then had bleeding n wished I hadn't in case something went wrong anyway am 16+3 n he is v excited n has no concept of time he is 4 in Aug n starts school in September so have told him after he starts school he will have a school holidays n baby will come after that but def before Xmas.

Ohhh n we have had how does baby get out q n friends magic door she told her 3yr old he laughed in her face. I sat down with a book for older children pics were fine n explained how babies r born n what as c section was as that's what I will have did in v simple terms he was happy no more questions - being children's nurse n experience of puberty talks to 10yr olds did help smile

busyDays Sun 15-Jun-14 19:21:12

I took my children with me to the first scan, mainly because I had no easy babysitter available. They had no idea what we were there for, until I said 'look there's a baby in my tummy'. The expressions on their faces were priceless!

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