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Nobody is excited about second pregnancy!

(16 Posts)
prettyblueeyes Fri 06-Jun-14 10:52:00

I'm 6 weeks pregnant, we told family early as I have to let work know straight away because I work in a dangerous job.

The problem is, when we told people, they were literally like oh that's nice, or ooh congratulations, like they were talking to a stranger, not their daughter/daughter in law.

We had a little boy already who is 2 in July and they were all so excited about him, yet this poor little one doesn't seen to get the same excitement sad! It's upset me really, especially because I'm extra hormonal! sad

ohthegoats Fri 06-Jun-14 11:07:31

Haha, my brother said the same about his. Now several of my relatives are having a third, and didn't even bother telling us until they absolutely had to (ie, 20+ weeks when they started showing).

It's the same when they arrived though - fewer photos, fewer presents. Don't feel too sorry for them, they'll win out in the end - second kids have more confidence, better social skills, less prone to depression... or something like that.

TiredCassandra Fri 06-Jun-14 11:10:01

Why do you need others to be excited? Do you not get enough attention in general in your life?

All that matters is that you are happy and excited, have a lovely pregnancy.

MrsBungle Fri 06-Jun-14 11:13:00

Yep, my second pregnancy and baby was much less exciting for everyone - even me to some extent. It wasn't the unknown anymore.

beccajoh Fri 06-Jun-14 11:16:10

This happened to us too, although there was a bit of excitement that it happened by accident and fairly soon after the first (they're 18 months apart so not super close, but close enough!). Then at the 20 week scan it got exciting again because we found out we were having a boy and PIL had six granddaughters.

But generally speaking, not nearly so much fanfare.

Swannery Fri 06-Jun-14 11:16:43

Pregnancies aren't interesting to anyone other than the parents, IMO. Possibly a doting grandparent I suppose. They'll enjoy the baby when it's born.

Chocotrekkie Fri 06-Jun-14 11:17:01

I know exactly what you mean.

First pregnancy -
nightly calls, text before and after every appointment etc etc.
Little presents in the post every other week. Long discussions about pushchairs/car seats.

Second pregnancy - "oh I am knackered tonight"
mum "why"
Me "well being pregnant and having a toddler does this"
Mum " oh I keep forgetting you are pregnant again"

It's the same when baby arrives - the focus is still on the first born (so she doesn't feel left out).

But another baby - all cute and baby smelling and adorable and cuddly..

Big congratulations from me...thanks

Gen35 Fri 06-Jun-14 11:17:37

I can see why you're upset, I get ticked off on a daily basis about things and blow them up in my head, but I'm not sure I expected anyone to be excited about our second dc, we both come from families and have low levels of family involvement (their choice). But it was our decision to have dc1 and dc2 for us and it'd be odd if anyone else was v excited.

CookieB Fri 06-Jun-14 14:34:06

It is a bit unfair isn't it? I'm 6 months pregnant with dc3 and no-one really bothers if Im tired or taking it easy but I did bump into someone I hadn't seen in ages the other day. They asked what was new and I only remembered I was pregnant at the end of the conversation....10 mins later shock. Might add that my bump looks more too many pies than baby. Can't expect the attention when I forget myself!grin

wafflyversatile Fri 06-Jun-14 14:38:01

It's not as novel. And it's not just them, in a couple of years time you will notice that you haven't taken as many photos etc.

Like weddings v marriages, it's not the level of excitement on the day that matters but the long term relationship with the DC.

Needadvice5 Fri 06-Jun-14 14:43:53

Sorry but I think it's normal! first baby is always exciting for the family but any subsequent one's not ao much.

My niece is 38 weeks with her second and I speak to her on the phone and completely forget, yet with the first I was fussing round her, treated her to the car seat, did a big hamper of baby clothes and toiletries. ....

Not bought a single thing for this one yet! feel terrible too!

neddle Sat 07-Jun-14 20:03:53

Wait til you get to #5, nobody's even remotely interested. The novelty's even worn off for dh sad.

BeCool Sat 07-Jun-14 20:13:28

Oh yes. I think this is pretty normal.

GlacindaTheTroll Sat 07-Jun-14 20:20:42

There's a limit to the number of times you can convincingly fake excitement.

Yes, it's happy news. But other people's pregnancies are not automatically exciting even to close relatives.

JabberJabberJay Sat 07-Jun-14 20:27:58

Does it really matter that everyone has yet to make a big fuss?

As long as you are happy and excited that's all that matters surely?

frankiebuns Sat 07-Jun-14 21:01:29

I think it was other way round for me I have ds who's 3 and partner was straight out of uni, his parents though now supportive thought I was trying to trap him we had been together 3 years then and it was a joint decision not taken lightly, we have been together nearly 8 now and tbh this one has had more excitement than the first yes they love son now but my god did I cause upset the first time round, his mum is wanting to be at hospital when I have c section and wants to be in the loop re appointments as this is high risk but I think his family realise that I'm not out to trap him and we want to be a family etc, but work and friends have been like oh ur pregnant that's nice no interest etc carry on regardless

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