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Dh really really dislikes girl name.

(25 Posts)
FoodieMum3 Mon 26-May-14 12:35:34

I'm 24+ weeks and we were talking names last night. On our 2 DC we thankfully agreed on both names very easily, although both were suggested by me blush

I have a name in mind for a girl, a name that I adore and stupidly assumed dh would feel the same but when I mentioned it last night it was a NO, he wouldn't even consider it. He said he really really doesn't like it AT all.

Of course there's no compromise here and I don't want to use a name anyway that I know he doesn't even like sad

Any advice? Anyone going through or gone through the same?

helensburgh Mon 26-May-14 12:37:54

I've been there!

You have to let it go, it's a joint decision. Difficult but try and move on for it

Many hugs

katandkits Mon 26-May-14 12:39:04

What's the name? Might be possible to find something similar that he likes. Does he have any ideas of his own so you have a starting point? If he hates the name so much he is unlikely to change his mind, perhaps he had an ex by that name or something?

gorionine Mon 26-May-14 12:41:05

Would he consider it as a middle name?

Geminiwitch22 Mon 26-May-14 12:44:18

Went through the same, but I found out that it was an ex's name oops confused. Unfortunately the grandmother overheard us and has vitoed most of the names I ended up in a row saying she has 5 kids 12 grandchildren and now 4 great grand children it's really none of her business. Talk to him and say that it's about compromise, I did and now I have the perfect name picked out that both US and our families approve of.

FoodieMum3 Mon 26-May-14 12:46:23

Yes I know I will have to let it go sad

Katandkits, I know that he doesn't have a personal reason for not liking the name, he just strongly dislikes it, won't even consider it!

Gorionine, yes I'm sure he would consider it as a middle name. That's really the only compromise we can make.

Such a shame because we really do have similar tastes.
Thanks for replies.

What's the name?

bouncinbean Mon 26-May-14 12:48:14

Just keep going till you find some (or 1) names you both love.
Unfortunately like you say if it's a name that he strongly dislikes then you can't use it.
It took us ages to get our short list but then at least we weren't having these discussions in the delivery room when DD arrived!

pictish Mon 26-May-14 12:48:46

It's a no goer then. Dh hated some of my 'loves' and I hated some of his, so we had to think of other ideas.

bouncinbean Mon 26-May-14 12:49:14

Just seen your update - think that's pretty good actually if he'll let it be a middle name...

FoodieMum3 Mon 26-May-14 12:50:28

I wasn't going to share the name but nobody in real life knows, so no chance of being recognised.

It was Olivia sad sad

FoodieMum3 Mon 26-May-14 12:52:59

You've all gone quiet, do you not like it either? LOL!

Ohwhatsoccuring Mon 26-May-14 12:58:05

With our 1st I had a girls name in mind that I loved but DP didn't like it (although he could not provide any alternative).
However he then witnessed the pleasure that is childbirth, and I had to go to theatre afterwards, when I got back she had the name written on her wrist band.
Think he thought flipping heck you can have that one love.

ThingsThatShine Mon 26-May-14 12:58:55

What was his reasoning for not liking it? Or just not keen and can't put finger on why?

I like it but if he really doesn't and is not budging on it I think you have to just start throwing out other suggestions and try to compromise

How about

Amelia
Francesca
Ava
Violet
Thea
Lucy
Freya
Charlotte
Phoebe
Marina
Alyssa
Elise

?

AdoraBell Mon 26-May-14 12:59:22

I think if one parent really, really dislikes a name then you need to rethink. My DH suggested a few to which I responded like hmm, and we moved swiftly on.

Does that name, I like it btw, have an emotional meaning to you or do you simply like the way it sounds? Would it work as a middle name?

MrsWinnibago Mon 26-May-14 13:01:27

I had about three or four like that OP! I just shelved them and got over it.

FoodieMum3 Mon 26-May-14 13:01:51

I love those names ThingsThatShine, pretty much exactly my 'taste' (and his)!

No reason really, he just didn't like it. Really did not like it in fact! I know the feeling myself, and that's why I was so disappointed.

I don't know the sex, I should mention, so it might be a boy. We are ok on that name.

Swoosg Mon 26-May-14 13:03:59

I wanted Olivia/Livvy for a while; dh vetoed. I'm glad now as I really dislike it!

Have to have a name you both like

nyldn Mon 26-May-14 13:24:01

I had the same happen with my favourite boy name. Long time favourite and family name. DH hates it. End of... I was so upset, but eventually got over it and now we're down to two boy names that we both love. It does such letting go of it at first though...

livingzuid Mon 26-May-14 14:21:54

Oh I like the name Olivia but dh hates it. We have decided the first name anyway it is the middle name we are arguing about smile great that you could have it as a middle name.

squizita Mon 26-May-14 14:29:31

I second the other poster who said middle name.

Thankfully DH and I have several names in common.

I have a friend whose mum is still resentful because their dad chose all the kids' names himself, she had no say! That's 30 plus a few years hemhem years of anger... it's really important to both like the names!

Alb1 Mon 26-May-14 15:39:51

Same problem with my name, I have it picked out and love it, DP really hates it n obviously won't budge. We sat through the top 500 baby name list and cud not agree on one! It covered every name I can think of and non even made it on a maybe list, so wev decided wel just name him once he's here as everyone says ul no the name when u see the baby. God knows what wel do if we don't haha

ohthegoats Mon 26-May-14 15:54:37

Same here. When I told my mum I was pregnant, she asked if we knew what it was (we don't), and she said straight away 'Well, if it's a girl it's called Nina, right?' I've liked the name Nina since I was quite tiny. But nope, he won't even consider it. Was vetoed without even a second's thought.

Ah well. We've now got it down to about 6 of each gender. He keeps changing his mind though, so who really knows. I've got my favourites, and reckon I'll wait until just after it's born, when he thinks I'm a fricking GOD for having done the birth thing, and then say what I want to call it. If I don't win at that point, then I never will!!

Take heart in that I'm a primary school teacher and Olivia is a really, REALLY common name for small girls these days. Find something more unusual!

threedeer Mon 26-May-14 16:00:55

Olivia is a beautiful name but very popular these days. There'll be a few in each class (not that that matters imho but you may as well find a name you both like that is a bit less over-used.)

bouncinbean Mon 26-May-14 18:51:02

There is some truth that a DP may feel particularly happy with any name when the baby is born. I had a marathon 60 hour labour and when I said which of the three names we'd thought of would we go with, he insisted it was my choice after what I'd been through. If we had your scenario I'm sure he would have let me call her Olivia!

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