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Anyone else done "visiting hours" after the birth?

(10 Posts)
ThinkIveBeenHacked Sun 25-May-14 09:13:26

I had DD 2.5 years ago and am five months pg with our second. Talking with some friends last night about those first few weeks at home, I remembered how relentless it was with visitors.

I would settle dd, get into bed for a little lie down and the doorbell would go. We had three/four separate visitors a day. At most, one of these was planned.

I really dont mind, and understand, that people want to come and visit the newborn, but is it too hard to text or call and ask what time works best?

I suggested last night telling people we will only answer the door between 10&11 and 5&6 unless it was pre arranged.

Am I rude/nuts/hormonal?

MrsCouchman Sun 25-May-14 09:46:05

Not at all! I was lucky & didn't have unattached visitors and was prone to cancelling last minute on people. I've heard of people putting a sign on their door saying please don't knock new born sleeping only available between these times. Do what you need to do x

Moonshine1 Sun 25-May-14 11:08:57

If I'd just got into bed and the doorbell went there's no way I'd be answering the door, let alone inviting people in! I don't understand people who just turn up though - surely you would always call ahead to check they're actually in before you make a wasted journey?! Tell family/friends that you will contact them to sort out them coming over as soon as you're up for visitors. If anyone ignores this and turns up anyway just don't open the door! smile

ThinkIveBeenHacked Sun 25-May-14 11:41:23

I know. I need to have words with DH as he is the one who goes to the door. He said "stay in bed, ill entertain them" but we live in a ground floor flat - I cant sleep with visitors in the next room.

DippyEggNSolders Sun 25-May-14 12:11:32

I had a mini diary for the week, with slots:
Am / pm / evening very anal grin

No more than 2 slots to be filled each day and I'd try and have a gap (so morning and evening). We said parents of both DP and I could come whenever.

I also made a 'silly' rule up that visitors brought food. It became an actual rule that lovely friends abided by and we didn't really cook for 2 weeks! grin

We have loads of friends and family, so when I spoke to people, I'd book them in, sometimes when other people were there too, and then have a gap in the afternoon so I wasn't overwhelmed with visitor after visitor.

Definitely put a sign up on the door, something along the lines of "newborn and mum sleeping, call xxx or message me to arrange a coffee".

And remember, you can say no. At one point, when mastitis had took it's toll, DP cancelled on everyone for 2 full days, called his mum to bring dinner over, and take the washing, and we had 2 days of no one coming. Definitely pleased he took the initiative to do this.

Meglet Sun 25-May-14 12:18:01

I just banned everyone for 2 weeks post DC2. I simply couldn't see the point in having people disturb me while I was feeding and recovering. No one really bothered after that, it was bliss smile. I was much happier for it.

ohthegoats Sun 25-May-14 12:18:06

We've decided no one will come and STAY for 2 weeks, but that still won't prevent his parents coming and staying in a B&B but spending loads of time at our house. I'm scared of that really... I don't have a bad relationship with them, but I don't fine them 'easy', and even when I'm at 100% I can find them quite hard work. In fact, just thinking about this is giving me butterflies and making me want to cry overemotional day then

peeapod Sun 25-May-14 12:20:49

definately agree with the food idea, include cleaning and other housework/ picking stuff from shops etc. to the list.

its really important for people to recognise that its you and your family time and not time for visitors (esp unannouced).

I also recommend only having visitors every other day for a break...

Jellybellymummyofsix Sun 25-May-14 12:21:50

Sometimesc with your second people arnt so interested.

You might find it all much easier & be glad of visitors.

I just played it by ear. If it was convient, great. If not I said so!

TheDudess Sun 25-May-14 12:24:05

I think its so rude of ppl to pop round unannounced when you have a new baby.

I loved having ppl round after the birth but they were always pre-arranged visits with no more than two sets of visitors at once and only at 2pm each day. This gave us all chance to sort ourselves out. We also had days off where we could just hang out and enjoy being a newfamily. Really qworked for us.

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