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painful sex in first trimester

(6 Posts)
microferret Sun 25-May-14 07:52:16

hello all, first post here! I genuinely hope this isn't TMI but at the same time surely anyone clicking on a post with sex in the title will be expecting some, er, detail.

I know that pain during sex in the first trimester is common, but I was wondering if anybody gets it in the same way I do. Ever since I've been sexually active, I've noticed that the less frequently I have sex, the more it hurts; it's a bit like the first few days of riding a bike gives you a sore bum but then it stops hurting the more you, ahem, ride. Normally DH and I bang about once or twice a week, but since I've been up the duff that's dropped to about once every two weeks, due to my lack of libido and generally feeling sick and grumpy. The fact that it's painful puts me off even more, but I make a point of initiating sex every couple of weeks so that my very patient, kind hubby doesn't feel neglected or rejected.

Basically it's a sort of burning sensation close to the entrance of the vagina. I know it's not really to do with lubrication as we've bought some, I don't have a yeast infection, I really don't think it's psychological. I think it's because I'm not having regular sex but I can't find any reference to this phenomenon online. I don't know what I'm hoping for from this thread; mainly just a bit of support really, and to see if anyone else finds the same thing happens to them, to hear from and offer support to anyone else having painfully unsexy sex whilst pregnant and also whether it's true that your libido picks up again in the second trimester? Because that would be lovely.

amy246 Sun 25-May-14 08:10:27

Are you sure you don't have a yeast infection? It's quite common in pregnancy and a gp can do a quick swab to check. I've never heard of it hurting more because you don't do it as often! I'd speak to ur gp or midwife

jenjen88 Sun 25-May-14 08:41:14

With my first pregnancy, sex was very painful all the way through and my labido didnt really pick up unitl I was 8 months pregnant (and then I was too big to have 'normal' sex lol), as you are right that the thought of it hurting puts you off. Again this time sex is painful but not as bad as last time. Both pregnancies I have carried very low and this time have a low lying placenta and have been told not to have deep penetration (ie he has to go on top or we have to be very gentle lol). You could be carrying low too, but you are too early to tell as they told me at my 12 week scan. Sorry that wasnt what you wanted to hear, but the good news is, once we settled into our new life with a baby and I had healed, our sex life did go back to normal! hth

amy83firsttimer Sun 25-May-14 09:08:34

I agree with OP. after a week or so without it just feels tighter and a little painful. Just more foreplay should help. A doctor also told me a glass (singular) of wine could help as it relaxes you. If you're not drinking at all then maybe foreplay and chamomile tea. There's a sentence I thought I'd never type!

microferret Tue 27-May-14 13:47:38

Thanks all, and thank you for the suggestions. Amy246, I did have a yeast infection but the doc gave me treatment and it had cleared up already so it shouldn't be an issue - I definitely don't have any other symptoms (itching, discharge etc - god, what an awful word "discharge" is, right up there with gusset), but I'll ask the doctor next time if it's a possibility.

Jenjen, I'm sorry you had a difficult time in your pregnancies and very glad you're feeling better - I will definitely be sure to ask whether there's a possibility of a low-lying placenta, I'm a very short person (5 ft), I don't know if that makes a difference?

Amy83 - so good to know there's someone else out there who has the same issue! I was wondering if I was a freak... smile I am also very intrigued by the suggestion of a glass of wine, I have limited myself to one small drink per week so it might be a good idea to co-ordinate that with getting it on.

Thanks again! It's really nice to have a forum to ask these sorts of things and be taken seriously, I very much appreciate all your contributions smile

ChicaMomma Tue 27-May-14 14:06:21

My libido picked up for a very brief 2-3 weeks in the 2nd trimester.. Now 37 weeks, i can think of nothing worse.. do not know how people face sex at this stage!! And i've had a brilliant pregnancy- i jsut dont feel like sex!
hubby has been getting LOTS of hand jobs.. lol

I just hope i go back to normal post natally sad

Good luck with your pregnancy Micro!

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