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I can't stand this pain anymore

(16 Posts)
elliejjtiny Sat 24-May-14 15:23:39

I'm 34 weeks pregnant (unplanned) with DC5. 3 of my children still need carrying/lifting, aged 6, 3 and 11 months. Thankfully my 6 year old doesn't need much help now, maybe once a day. The others a lot more.

I feel like someone keeps jumping up and down on my pelvis. Midwife and registrar have both said it's normal which wasn't particularly helpful. I'm on the max dose of paracetamol but it doesn't help much. the NHS website says things like get other people to help with lifting/housework but with 4 DC's under 8 there is a lot to do and everyone I know who is available to help is elderly and wouldn't be able to lift the DC's.

I feel like crying/screaming every time I lift the DC's. It takes so long to do any housework that the DC's can make things worse in much less time. They are so bored because I can't do stuff like go to the park/softplay with them.

DS4 was born at 35 weeks by C-section and spent 4 weeks in NICU/SCBU so I know that begging for an early eviction would just be swapping one awful situation for another.

How can I survive the next 6 weeks?

Gileswithachainsaw Sat 24-May-14 15:38:44

You need to stop lifting the children up. Is there a reason thy need so much help? Can the older ones walk?

Lifting the 11 month old shouldn't be too hard but you really need to get the other two to walk if you can. Have you got any friends/family who can come and help you. Sounds like spd. It's bloody painful and only thing that helps is rest and a support belt.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Sat 24-May-14 15:40:54

I am another one who doesnt understand the lifting either. Of the older two anyways. I am pg and have a 2.5yo and I say "mammy isnt strong enough" if she asks to be lifted anywherr.

Barring special needs the elder two shouldnt need lifting.

bronya Sat 24-May-14 15:44:21

No lifting. And get a support belt!

elliejjtiny Sat 24-May-14 15:53:41

Thanks. 6 year old has SN. 3 year old is a climber and needs lifting down from top of sofa, chairs etc. Also in and out of the buggy. 11 month old is lighter than the others but also has SN so no head control, dead weight and needs to be bottle fed and held like a newborn because he can't do it any other way. Where can I get a support belt?

TheFairyCaravan Sat 24-May-14 15:57:27

You need to stop doing everything that isn't necessary. You should accept every offer of help available to you. DS1 was 19months old when I first got SPD, he learnt very fast that I could not lift him. I don't understand why you would be needing to lift a 3yo and a 6yo, barring any SN.

You can take Codeine in pregnancy, so get on to your GP on Tuesday, or OOHs over the weekend to get some prescribed. Ask to be referred to physio urgently. Ice is better than heat, buy some cheap condoms from Lidl or the £ shop, fill with water and freeze. Use the ice on your painful points in your pelvis when you need to.

You must rest though. When you go up the stairs, put one foot on the stair, bring the other foot to this stair, repeat. Don't do it normally! When you get into the car put your bum on the seat, then swing both legs round. To put your Knicks on, sit down. Don't do anything on one leg and keep your knees together.

TheFairyCaravan Sat 24-May-14 16:01:00

Sorry, you posted when I was writing my post, I can seen you have no choice with the lifting your 6yo.

I'll have a Google for a belt for you.

Fairypants Sat 24-May-14 16:12:01

I agree it sounds like spd.
A physio should help. If you get one who will do manipulation, it can work wonders but even just advice can help. They can also order support belts but that takes ages at my hospital so might be best not to wait.
I got a nexcare support belt from mothercare. Its expensive (£34 i think) and It's not comfortable for wearing all day (digs in when I sit) but I wear it when walking anywhere and find it helps.
The most amazing thing I did this time round (dc3, had the same problems with the other pregnancies) was try an osteopath. She massages/manipulates the joints. I feel a bit better that day but wake up the next day with no pain at all even when I don't pay attention to what I am doing. It starts to get a bit twingy over the next week or so but slowly. I see her every 3 weeks atm (23 weeks pg) which keeps me totally mobile and just slightly sore at times but I can adjust that depending on how painful against how much I want to pay. I pay £40 a go but worth it for me as I was on crutches by this point last time.
I hope you get some relief soon.

Gileswithachainsaw Sat 24-May-14 16:14:28

Perhaps post on the SN boards. They will be better qualified to tell you how to deal with the specifics with regards to making the children understand about not being carried etc.

And also worth asking if you don't know, about any help you may be entitled to (if you are. I obviously don't know sorry x ) and if you are maybe if it's not set up in time for the birth it may still help after. Especially if you have a c section as lifting will be impossible then.

TheFairyCaravan Sat 24-May-14 16:22:00

A lot of people swear by The serola belt.

Mothercare do this tubigrip type one, or this Nexcare one.

AuntieMaggie Sat 24-May-14 16:43:09

ellie have you seen anyone about it? I would recommend seeing your gp first thing Tues for codeine and physio referral.

I'm suffering and have seen physio twice - I'm now on crutches, Tubigrip, codeine and go to sleep with a hot water bottle between my legs. But you need to stop doing stuff that aggravates it which is hard.

I tried the nexcare belt with physio but it provided more support at the back than the front so I have a promedics one on order will try to find the link.

AuntieMaggie Sat 24-May-14 16:50:52

it's this one

There are a few of us on the July thread suffering - you aren't alone. Be kind to yourself and forget any housework/physical stuff that isn't necessary. [Thanks]

Notfastjustfurious Sat 24-May-14 17:01:29

I had really bad spd last pregnancy which threatened to return this time too only with added toddler who likes to be carried. Started seeing a chiropractor and am now pain free and can lift her if I need too. Honestly the best thing ever - had already been to physio who only offered me crutches.

Also both the physio and the chiro weren't too keen on the belts before treatment as your pelvis is misaligned and all the belt will do is keep it that way.

Nunyabiz Sat 24-May-14 17:17:53

Get your MW to refer you to the physio.
I understand there is some lifting involved as I have a 3 year old who does not have SN but still need to do a certain amount of lifting, such as in and out if bath (we have a deep claw foot bath hmm)... Also even a light load of laundry etc can be really difficult. I try to get my DD to climb a stool as often as possible...but there are always things that need doing (tying shoe laces etc) that are just 10 times harder with SPD.
Also unbelievable how many things are on the floor! I find the bending and crouching equally excruciating.

The physio will be able to advise you on some excersises that might help and on safer ways to move about which won't exacerbate your condition.
Also, pillows pillows pillows!
1 or 2 under your head, one under your bump, one between you legs and another in the crook of your back when you sleep... Or whatever works for you. I know it seems like such a long time to go when you are suffering but 5 weeks ago I was in your position and wondering how I would possibly make it to full term.. But here I am, due on Tuesday and ready to get this show on the road!!!

Also I could suggest when you speak to MW ask if you could have a sweep at 38 weeks, then again at 39... This might get things moving just that little bit earlier so you don't have to go any longer than necessary. They agreed to mine because I have 10lbs babies so might be worth considering.

bronya Sat 24-May-14 17:26:07

The serola belt is AMAZING. I'm on my second pregnancy with mine, and it has enabled me to be pain-free. Recommended it (and book of exercises) to a friend who was on crutches, and she's now fine also!

ikeaismylocal Sat 24-May-14 19:18:20

Can your dp take time off work? Could you get some short term nursery places?

I'm not sure about the system in the UK but there must be some sort of support, maybe someone who can come and help you short term with the day to day care of the little ones.

I would be being very very strict about the climbing 3 year old, 3 should be old enough to understand you don't climb onto high places.

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