Moving house..help please!

[Daisypops]

Not sure if I'm posting this in the right place but me and DP are living seperately at the moment (no other reason that we both met and had our own houses) we have discussed selling up and moving 'after' the bub is born. We've spoken about it at length and I said it will be too stressful for me to move now. I stress over everything and worry so not an ideal time. DP has just rung me to say the estate agent is coming to take pics of his house on this week and its going on the market at the weekend. . Hes said if hes putting his up mine should to go up too & they could take months to sell anyway. I have two issues, what if mine sells first and really quick? And my mum has been amazing throughout my pregnancy so far and I feel guilty leaving her. This is her 1s grandchild and she can't wait. I'll feel dreadful if I move just as bub is born, shes been a great support and taking he/she away from her seems cruel (we want to move about 35 mins away) mum is now about 8 mins away! Sounds daft but I don't know what to do, can't say anyhting to my mum as I don't have the heart. Sorry to go on but I need some advise. DP is only wanting to do the right thing and be together and move somewhere with better schools etc but he wasn't having any of me waiting til after bub is here... any advise PLEASE?

[TheBlonde]

Why can't he sell his place now and move in with you at yours?
Then once bub is born and you are up to it you sell and buy a new place in your chosen location

[Daisypops]

This was my suggestio but now hes saying we should sell them both at the same time...? I think I'll just put my foot down although its not always easy with DP as hes a sensitive soul & he'll think I don't want to move with him. I'll sleep on it and approach it again tomorrow.

[TheBlonde]

Where does he suggest you live if you sell both places and don't manage to buy somewhere in time?

[noonar]

if he's sensitive, he should be delighted that you want to share your home with him. also, as I'm assuming it's your first baby, I think you'd be mad to move away from mum at this stage, as she could be a day to day help to you with new baby. it could be hard for hwe to help if she's far away, surely? also, won't dp understand that it's harder for you to move right now than it is for him? ask him nicely to have a bit more empathy. good luck!

[LIZS]

I'd sell one then the other that way the first can be sold with no upward chain which can be a huge attraction. Which is worth the more as it would be better financially to sell that first if it is feasible to live in the other short term.

[Daisypops]

He says if mine sells first I can live with him or my mum (mum is closer to my work) if his sells first he'll live here, if they both sell..... don't think hes thought of that! Best thing would be for him to sell first and live with me. His will take longer to sell anyway and like you say LIZS its more attractive to buyers if he has 'no chain'. I think hes just wanting to get cracking for when bub is here, don't think he appreciates how stressed I'll get. DP works shifts and my mum will be a godsend, think he needs to understand that. Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Sorry to be rattle on.

[LeBe]

Hi Daisypops.
That sounds like a horrible situation to be in, but my first bit of advice would be try not to worry to much (easier said than done i know) but it isnt good for you or babba.
I have just moved, ive only got about 9 weeks left and i really wanted to get moved a settled before the baby was born (me and bf didnt live together before). I was really worrying about it to, like would we find a suitable place, is the move going to be too stressful etc. But we did find the right place and everyone offered to help with the actual move so i just sat back really and it was bliss. Me and bf now have a lovely place together and everything is ready for when the baby arrives. I understand it may not be possible for you to move if your houses dont sell but if they do im sure you will manage and get somewhere lovely. Also my mum lives about 30mins away from me and the rest of my family live the same distance or further so i know how you feel about being far away, but we are still really close and i know she will see the baby ALL the time and she has still been amazing even though she hasnt been as close. At least your moving for the right reasons and im sure your mum will see that.

Good luck! x

[SophieB]

Me and my partner have just moved into our own house, we've been here for about 4 weeks. I have to admit the whole picking a house, getting a mortgage, moving etc was soooo stressful but luckily we had our friends to help us move. My parents are about 30 mins away and being pregnant you really need your mum! so im still trying to get used to not living so close to my mum, but of course the In-laws are just around the corner (great!), i would speak to your mum she may be ok with it and if your partner's house does sell before yours then see if he would move into your house for the mean time. Good luck tho, i know how stressful it can be! x

[Daisypops]

Thanks for your posts girls. Its nice to know theres others in the same boat. I really want to move and we'll have loads of help from our family and friends but its still pretty stressful I think! The issue with my mum been further away is playing on my mind. I think maybe DP will have to compromise and sell his first and live with me. Haven't approached it yet. I'm such a chicken!

[Carameli]

I think like tohers have said here I would sell his now and then after the baby is born start to think about selling yours. It is such a stressful business that you certainly don't need if it can be avoided. I am due in Dec and still in the process of selling our place and buying somewhere else and we are having a few issues with our buyers at the moment so its still not going ahead for definite. This is our 2nd so I know a little bit about whats coming ahead and am more prepared this time. But also like others have said I would stay close to your mum with your 1st. My mum is about 30mins away now and spent so much time in the first few weeks at least coming over to see me.

[KathyMCMLXXII]

We were in that position too, Daisypops. I got someone to housesit for my house and moved up to his place during mat leave. OK the sensible thing might have been to sell immediately, but I didn't want the hassle. I've been living in 2 houses for the last few months, which is of course a hassle in itself, and we've only just got around to selling mine now (dd 15 months, ds expected in Dec) but because I'm moving into his it doesn't feel hassly; I can do it at my leisure.
I reckon you should call the shots, since you're pregnant. Also selling his now and yours later seems pretty sensible to me. You will have the equity from his house to help you buy the next one and you can look around for another at your leisure, without being pressured by buyers wanting you out of yours. Plus, if he's moving in with you he can advertise his as 'no chain' which will help it to sell and possibly get the price up a bit.
Oh, and don't think of it as a horrible situation - I think it's absolutely lovely to be able to upgrade our houses together.
I think sometimes people (I was going to say men, but probably women too!) get the bit between their teeth and want to get on with things - maybe it is just his way of wanting everything to be perfect for the baby?

[Daisypops]

Thanks to everyone who posted. I'm glad to report DP is ok with just selling his for now and is happy to move in here, then we'll sell mine and look for something for the three of us!