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Tell me a positive birth story(16 Posts)
I've still got ages to go until this one, my first, is due but I need to get in a better frame of mind about it all. I'm training in the maternity services and feel like I've just seen a run of things not going great, I need to remember those amazing births I've seen where women stay calm and the body just does what it's supposed to, no help required. Anyone feel like boosting my confidence about it all?
I didn't have a great birth with DD - nothing really went as I wanted it to - BUT it is true that you forget the detail of a lot of the not-so-good bits very quickly. Despite that, it is still one of the best, most emotional things I've ever done and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Ultimately, you get your beautiful baby at the end of it. I think that the best thing you can do is make the plan you want but go in prepared for it to change beyond all recognition!
I've given birth three times and am pregnant again all my births have been great.
First one went into labour naturally a week late 12 hrs start to finish g and a 7lb 6 dd no stitches went home after 5 hrs felt almost normal the next day.
Second one induced due to gd at 38 weeks great birth again, about 10 hrs from my waters being broke had an epidural and even though it was more " managed" still a really good experience. 7lb13 dd no stitches felt good after afew days.
Third one induced at 40 weeks at my request due to spd again really good experience had an epidural again really calm lovely birth a few heart decelerations but were due to me being on my back and heart rate picked up v quickly when it moved. About 7 hrs long from waters being broken. 10lb 8 Ds no stitches!
So even though all my births weren't totally straight forward they were still good experiences hard work but very worth it. I think sometimes it's very easy to get hung up on the perfect birth (I know I was obsessive about my first) but sometimes things change and while it feels like the worst thing in the world at the time you can still turn it into a positive experience. Of course there are some people who have a bad time and have absolutely no control of what happens but they are few and far between and there is no reason why this should happen to you HTH
My advice is to try to remember that you have a long way to go before the birth - lots of stages - and for me it helps to just focus on the next one along. I'm 25 weeks with my second, and right now I'm focusing on the anti-D injection at 28 weeks. If my mind tries to run on beyond that, it enters the realms of the unknowable, which is always more scary.
Having said that, I gave birth to my first baby with gas and air and no intervention. I didn't tear and was back home next day. I can't claim I stayed particularly calm throughout, but it was for a relatively short period of time in the grand scheme of things. I was in labour for 12 hours in total, but only needed to go into the hospital after 5 hours, so they wrote on my notes that it was a 7 hour labour.
Thanks so much ladies, that helps. You're so right, if there's one thing I've learnt from attending births it's that informed birth preferences are a great thing along with flexibility, but rigid birth plans lead to so much disappointment and the false perception of failure when the baby has other ideas about what it's going to do.
I'm so glad to hear about positive epidural stories, positive inductions - I know first babies are a law unto themselves and these are a real possibility.
Its my first time too so don't have a birth story of my own. However I met a lady the other day who was still positively glowing from her water birth 7 months ago. She said she was broody again as soon as she gave birth!!
I do think its important to be open minded about birth though. The best advice I've been given was by a friend who is also a midwife who said be prepared for the unexpected and anything can happen. I've been doing alot of work trying to prepare myself to be calm in the face of the unexpected. My sister had an unplanned caesarian and as this is one of my greatest fears i've been doing lots of visulaisation about myself in that situation and how it would be/how I would like to handle it.
I personally loved my epidural I found it led to a very calm and relaxed birth for me and I enjoyed my epidural births a lot more than without and had no problems with pushing and forgot to mention both induction babies were back to back, one turned one didn't and honestly I didn't notice much difference. In fact with my Ds I had a sleep at 10cms to refresh me ready for pushing! However I know it's not for everyone and I can totally understand that. I'm just trying to get my head round the fact there might not be time to have one as it's my fourth!
Hang on in there, sweetie
I'm quite sure you'll be well-prepared for all eventualities. And the other thing you need to bear in mind is that really, this is the first step into parenthood. Which goes on a lot longer
Also, gas'n'air rocks. Fabulous stuff.
(I can't tell you a lovely first birth story but I've got a lovely second birth one if that's any use.)
Ds1 was born after 8 hours with tens machine for pain relief and didn't go to hospital until I was pushing as they kept telling me to stay at home. It was quite traumatic and I'd have been better off getting to hospital sooner and getting g&a / midwife help. Still not an awful birth.
Pushing wasn't too bad and even though I tore it didn't really hurt as it was a relief to have finished
I got worried about ds2's birth but it was actually a lovely experience. I kept replaying it over in my mind. I was very in control. Managed to do breathing from natal hypnotherapy cd which worked the second time round.
I wish I'd done it more the first time round as mastering the pain by breathing through it kept everything very calm. I was pain free in between contractions.
It was a home birth with g&a and a pool for pain relief. Took bit longer but wasn't too bad except towards the end (when g&a took the edge off any pain).
Despite having more pain relief with ds2 it allowed me to be more present and appreciate his birth as I was less panicky.
Best advice I got was to allow myself not to be I control towards the end and to trust the midwives and dh to get me through it.
I actually felt ds2 was an 'easy' labour, if such a thing exists. I know its a cliche but I found home birth very empowering.
I had a dream pregnancy and birth - no sickness, not many aches and pains, put on only 5 kilos, water birth with just gas an air as planned, stitches healed with no problems and minimal discomfort and back in my pre-pregnancy clothes within a fortnight! And good job I had all that positivity as DS is not an easy baby!
Well, DC1 arrived at 38 weeks and very quickly... Woke up in the night with constipation type pains, they got much worse, had a bath (at this point shouting at the pain), got out of the bath, waters broke, drove to hospital v fast and screaming for an epidural when I arrived (i.e. there was no way I could take 12 hours plus of that...). The midwives frogmarched me into a room, took one look and told me to push (was fully dilated). DC1 arrived 20 minutes later. So 2 1/2 hours from waking up. I was not impressed with the pain at all but obviously am grateful it was so quick and I had no intervention. (Obviously no time for the epidural - the only element of my birth plan.)
DC2 even quicker and earlier (36 weeks so not ideal but not too scary). Born 1 hour 20 mins after first teeny period like twinge - lucky I was awake so we had time to get to hospital.
So, both births were quick, natural (got a bit of gas and air but not much), had a few stitches because of the tearing (common when you have a rapid labour) and no complications/intervention.
So first babies are not always late with loooong labours. We were really not prepared at all. Hospital bag and babysitting emergency numbers were all ready at about 32 weeks with DC2.... I even tried to arrange to set up for a home birth (in case DC2 came really fast) but they don't drop the equipment off until 37 weeks - you have to go in to hospital if the baby is technically premature, which is fair enough. Besides, I feel safer in a hospital.
I've had three really positive experiences of birth, despite the first one being an induction on the drip. I'd recommend the 'tell me a good birth story' website and Facebook page for anyone either with a positive story to share or worrying about labour. They match up people in similar circumstances and you can exchange emails etc. I'm registered as a birth buddy on there.
I've got four DCs and have had pretty straightforward births with all of them. All were between 4 and a half and 8 hours from start to finish ad I've never needed stitches, had a couple of bad grazes which hurt a bit though.
I had dd2 (my third) in our MLU and its was brilliant. I went into labour about 9.30pm when my older two were already asleep. She was born at 2am without so much as paracetamol (I had gas and air and pethedine with dd1 and gas and air with ds1).
It felt really relaxed, partly as I was the only one in the unit and partly due to having a lovely room which didn't feel like a hospital room. After dd2 was born and I'd had a shower, the MW asked me and DH if we wanted to go home or have a sleep before going home to our other DCs.
We wanted to get home to the DCs so the MW sorted the paperwork out and we were home by 6am, the DCs didn't even know we'd left.
I'd have loved to have had ds2 in the MLU but had gestational diabetes so couldn't.
I had a great one! Fell pregnant naturally and surprisingly at 44 so was anxious throughout on account of that, but as it happens we had a great pregnancy so I was fully expecting something to bite me on the ass in terms of the birth. I did do a hypnobirthing course as I was anxious about being in the hospital at all, and as it turned out I was fully dilated by the time we got to the hospital so that definitely helped me for most of it. First contractions started at 2 in the morning, then at 10:30am went from 8mins apart to the next one at 3mins and thereafter they were 1min apart so it was a bit of a rush to get to hospital. But we made it with time to spare and we had our hoped for pool birth with just some gas and air. Waters broke just as I got into the pool and gorgeous baby girl arrived at 3:30pm. Great midwives, no complications during the birth, all ideal.
We had feeding sagas afterwards, undiagnosed tongue tie until 6 weeks that they wouldn't do the procedure for. If only I knew then what I know now! ALWAYS CHECK FOR TONGUE TIE!!! ANY problems with feeding, see the feeding consultant asap.
I had a girlfriend due not long after me who was really frightened and I told her I would do it for her if I could, that it was totally do-able. So it really can't have been at all bad.
I'm one of the lucky ones I know.
Here's a very positive one.
My waters went with a pop at 2pm. DD was born at 8pm. I used a TENS machine and had a couple of gasps of gas and air but it didn't do anything for me, so I stayed with TENS. I didn't tear, I wasn't cut. Nothing went wrong.
Several weeks later when DD was in hospital I bumped into the midwife who delivered DD. She recognised me and said she remembered me because mine was a textbook labour and delivery.
I've had 3 very lovely and boring births.
No interventions, no medication except gas and air and antibiotics for one birth.
No cuts or tears and no stitches.
Last one was a really lovely calm water birth. No examinations and I delivered the baby myself. It really was great. Not great enough for me to want to do it again though
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