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I have turned in to a whale.

(40 Posts)

Just had my 36 week apt and was weighed. I am 103kg, having started this pregnancy at 83 kg. I tried so hard this time to not pile on weight and its all gone so wrong sad. I was a size 8/10 the first time I got pregnant and a 14 this time. I wish I had tried harder. I'm now too fat to be alowed to use the midwife led unit and will have to have a consultant led delivery. I feel so ashamed of myself. Thinking about it makes me cry, its all my own fault, I'm disgusting.

moomin35 Thu 01-May-14 14:52:52

What's that in stones and llbs?

EyelinerQueen Thu 01-May-14 14:55:56

So 13st to 16st 3 ish I think?

That's quite big. Good motivation to get back in shape after baby?

The stone you will probably lose on the day you give birth will be a great starting point grin .

EyelinerQueen Thu 01-May-14 14:57:30

And you're not disgusting Horrace. Your body has been busy growing a baby. A whole other human being!

Try not to beat yourself up and give yourself time to recover physically from the birth before fretting about diet and exercise etc.

thanks for you.

ThursdayLast Thu 01-May-14 15:00:35

You are not disgusting.
You should not feel shame.
It's the hormones making you cry wink
Just focus on your healthy baby, however s/he is delivered.

ChicaMomma Thu 01-May-14 15:03:48

I've put on way more than i would have like/expected too. But there's nothing we can do about it now only focus on getting healthy after babs comes out. Off to get Twix

It is disgusting and I am disgusted. I have potentially put both my baby and myself at a much higher risk of problems through my own greed. I managed to put on 5 stone last time. You would have thought I'd learnt my lesson, clearly not. It is vile.

Gen35 Thu 01-May-14 15:22:58

It's really hard to restrict weight gain when you're tired and achey. I gained 20 kg with dc1 and was also determined to do better this time but pregnancy is exhausting, long and a bit dull smile Don't feel disgusting, but do clear out any bad foods in the house if you can - take control now, tell yourself you can go out for treats. Work out how you're going to fit in exercise post baby, make a plan and feel better about it all.

Gen35 Thu 01-May-14 15:25:48

Or Horrace, it could be there is a scientific explanation and that tiredness makes you feel more hungry. Don't feel so bad. I resort to food when tired or in pain for a pick me up. Take care, do something nice for yourself.

moomin35 Thu 01-May-14 15:59:37

3 stone weight gain sounds fine to me??

I am 36 weeks too and have put on just over 2 stone...nearly 2.5 stone (I dont consider myself disgusting??!) xx

From my starting weight this time I should have only put on half a stone at most really. I have just been so hungry all the time sad.

It's just the realisation that I'm so fat, the midwife is worried about me labouring normally that has hit me I think.

I'm quite tall (just under 5ft 10) so it's easy for me to put on weight without it showing too much, especially with the bump to disguise it, and I had no idea i'd put on so much sad.

ChicaMomma Thu 01-May-14 16:18:45

Well look, all you can do now from this point on is cop on and stop pigging out. I know it's a bit late with only a month to go, but it might make you feel better about yourself to at least deny yourself some of the junk for the rest of the pregnancy. There is literally nothing else that can be done so no point in beating yourself up.

FWIW i doubt it will make labouring more difficult, i've seen plenty of people who have gained 4/5 stone have fine labours incl my sister.

PenguinsLoveFishFingers Thu 01-May-14 16:21:07

I'm your height and have put on a similar amount. I started off 10kg lighter though, so am about 92kg now. I'm now 40+8, but my weight hasn't really shifted in the last month or so so I probably weighed this at 36 weeks too.

I am on my third pregnancy and every time I have said that I will not put on as much. I've really, really, tried this time. But I think some people just have metabolisms that easily lay down weight in pregnancy. I put on loads during periods where I was eating no differently to pre-pregnancy.

Also, if you are anything like me, if you are dealing with crushing exhaustion and older children, trying to cope on a restricted calorie diet would be really, really, miserable (if not impossible). Also, when you are tired, your body will try and compensate with additional hunger for calorie energy instead of sleep energy (IYSWIM. Not very scientific language there!).

Please don't feel disgusting or disgusted with yourself. Also bear in mind that MLUs have very restrictive risk profiles. The smallest thing can tip you over the edge into being ineligible. That's sad, but it's the way it is.

Can you find out about your local CLU and what natural birth facilities they have? What did you find helpful in your last labour?

PenguinsLoveFishFingers Thu 01-May-14 16:22:47

Chica - In fairness, the OP doesn't say she's eaten loads of 'junk'. I know I didn't. The problem is, extra toast, nuts, fruit, etc still piles on the weight if your appetite has gone through the roof.

ChicaMomma Thu 01-May-14 16:36:11

I know, and look, i'm as bad myself, my appetite has also gone through the roof. But i know i for one am actually going to cop on for the remaining 7 weeks. Limiting the toast and extra portions. It can be done. I'm not talking about dieting, just copping the fuck on for the remainder of the pregnancy- cos you know what, if i dont, it'll be even harder to cop on once the baby is born. I've been eating a ridiculous amount of bread, like up to 6 slices a day, so from tomorrow that is being reduced to 2 slices at day, end of story.

PenguinsLoveFishFingers Thu 01-May-14 16:52:44

Yeah, I understand that. And it's great that you can manage to do that. It will make life easier after.

On the other hand, when you have older children and/or limited opportunity to rest, sometimes that slice of toast is all that boosts you enough to get through the kids' teatime. So whilst I totally agree with the comment about trying to eat healthily, at the same time it can be a real struggle for some people and I can relate to that.

I actually have found it masses easier to eat healthily and limit extra portions post-pregnancy IME, but everyone is different.

splendide Thu 01-May-14 17:24:11

I'm sure I'm going to do this. I am about 16 weeks and I lost weight in the first trimester but I'm suddenly just starving all the time. And craving carbs.

I get so cross with myself because I tell myself I'll eat less but then I find myself eating two breakfasts.

ChicaMomma Thu 01-May-14 17:31:47

Splendide, i am the exact same! Full of great promises and then exactly like you say, 2 breakfasts later.. hmmm...

I had absolutely no nausea whatsoever at any point, more's the pity, I was already up a stone in the first trimester!

The thing about carbs though is the more you eat the more you need/crave. This time last yr i was Paleo (pre wedding) and i never felt hunger. it's just nigh-on impossible to deny yourself anything during pregnancy!

i thought that during the first trimester when i gave up wine (of which i was having at least 2 bottles a week, maybe 3) the weight would fall off me.. no... not so....

moomin35 Thu 01-May-14 17:33:08

I know women who are pregnant or who have had babies who weight A LOT more than 16 stone and have had lovely healthy children so please don't beat yourself up about it. x

Bellyrub1980 Thu 01-May-14 17:43:17

I kind of feel the same as you OP. I was a bit shocked to discover at the midwife appt that my BMI was just below high risk. I really identify with how you're feeling, I always imagined I'd look quite different pregnant, with a lovely neat bump. But at the moment (at 14w4d) I have a larger stomach than my 20w friend... Although it's impossible to tell if I'm pregnant or fat.

I'm also increasingly paranoid about how my DP feels about it. He only says lovely things, but I just feel sorry for him.

Anyway, my point (eventually) is that I decided to join Slimming world on Monday. It's endorsed by the midwives association and you can literally eat unlimited amounts of the good stuff. It's only naughty things you have to monitor. You're also allow double the fibre and calcium allowance of a non pregnant person. The leader warned me I may not lose any weight, but the focus is staying in control and eating healthily. She also said that she's had a few pregnant ladies safely lose over a stone during pregnancy (she implied they were very over weight) and that their midwives were very happy as it reduced their risk.

Anyhoo, I feel better knowing I'm doing something about it and I'm eating LOADS but no junk. It feels great that I'm feeding my baby good stuff (unlike my first trimester where I ate the worst diet you can imagine).

ChicaMomma Thu 01-May-14 17:50:02

Well done for taking control of it Bellyrub. I did hear that SW do a fantastic pregnancy programme alright.

Bellyrub1980 Thu 01-May-14 17:56:50

It's pretty realistic I think. She said if i lose any more than 1/2lb a week I have to increase my syns or healthy extras (fellow slimming world ladies will know what that means!).

I had a big bowl of cereal for breakfast, loads of fruit throughout the day, homemade squash soup for lunch, fish and wedges for tea. Might have a smoothie for supper just to make sure I get all the calcium in. Must be a shed load of calories.

Maybe it's just a novelty at the moment, but I feel less depressed about my size knowing that I've taken some control. Maybe this huge stomach will eventually become a neat round bump.

Bellyrub1980 Thu 01-May-14 17:59:47

(PS I think the plan is pretty much the same when breast feeding OP, so it's not too late if you want to get on track.)

livingzuid Thu 01-May-14 20:58:38

OP I think some of us are just destined to put on weight. I could be the Michelin man right now as I am just round all over. Just saw some terrible photos.

It's horrible and depressing. I have had such a restricted diet due to hg and so many days I have wept as I've eaten a quarter pounder - bizarrely the only thing that would stay down and settle my stomach. I hate macdonalds normally and if I never see a cheeseburger after this pregnancy I will be a happy lady! I can't eat anything sweet and only about seven things prevent me vomiting. If I see a vegetable I get nauseous. I was gluten free prior to being pg and it's been awful not being able to keep that up. I try to walk a bit every day but it's been impossible to exercise regularly this pregnancy.

You eat what you have to in pregnancy I've discovered.

I have gained steadily a kilo a week. I am shorter than you and am at around 105 kg now at 36 weeks. I started at 78 sad my consultant is completely umphased at the weight gain and said it makes no difference to the baby. He also said a lot of it would be water retention.

I think it's not right for the midwife to worry you so. Particularly given your height. You don't sound like you've gained that much to me?

I very much sympathise is the result of my ramble. But I don't think you should be at yourself up about it at all. So what if you have a chocolate bar or something. The weight will come off again and your labour will be fine smile

splendide Fri 02-May-14 08:49:54

I think the problem (or MY problem, more accurately!) is that I've got a wafer thin piece of self control keeping my weight to OKish normally. And I am quite fat normally (around the middle of the overweight band) but a lot less so than I used to be (used to be very obese). So now I'm also battling on and off nausea and general feeling crapness it seems an impossible task to not just eat exactly what I fancy.

Yesterday I had shredded wheat and skimmed milk at home then did my normal hour commute on train and bus (no seat on either) and by the time I got to the office I felt utterly shit. Got myself a bacon roll and felt 1000% better immediately having eaten it then was filled with self loathing and cried about it. I'm ridiculous, basically.

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