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Childcare for older kids when nearing due date/have newborn?

(17 Posts)
ThinkIveBeenHacked Wed 23-Apr-14 08:25:04

DD currently goes to my DMums whenever both Dh and I are at work. She is a registered CM and we pay for the place (however we do have a discounted rate). DD is there roughly 25hrs per week though it can go up to 40 (I work shifts) or down to zero (DH a Teacher so off holidays).

I really dont know what to do when nearing the end of thos pregnancy. I have sufficient annual leave to use the mo th before EDD and when pg with dd I had two weeks and mainly rested, read, prepped baby stuff. This time round Im not sure whether to still send dd to DMums part time or keep her with me permanently.

Similarly, when LO arrives, Im not sure what to do either - am I a bad mother for contemplating sending her to the CMs oris it sensible so I can have some recovery time? Also, she loves the other kids there and the various toddler groups etc they go to.

WWYD?

hubbahubster Wed 23-Apr-14 08:36:54

I'm going on mat leave in a week and am still intending to send DC1 to my DM one day a week (he currently goes two days) and to CM two days a week (he currently goes three) until DC2 arrives. Then he'll go down to one day at DM and one day at CM. I've got lots to do in the house that simply won't get done with him around before the birth, and once baby is here he'll need somewhere to be boisterous - plus I want to be able to do baby-centred things with DC2 like baby swimming, which I won't be able to do with DC1 there too.

I don't see a problem with a toddler having however many days you need at CM, especially as you're lucky enough to have a discounted rate! My DC1 would soon be climbing up the walls if he had to sit around watching me feed DC2 all day, especially if his sleep had been disturbed (which it may well be...)

crazykat Wed 23-Apr-14 08:53:33

I'd say still send dd especially as your dm looks after her. It will give you chance to rest and sort final things before the baby is here but also give your dd a sense of normality. Likewise once the baby is here. Maybe keep her home a bit more once the baby is here so she doesn't fell left out, maybe send her either mornings or afternoons if that's an option so you get a chance to rest.

ithoughtofitfirst Wed 23-Apr-14 09:04:04

I hate asking for help but I think the odd day at nana's here and then would be really helpful once the baby comes.

lentilpot Wed 23-Apr-14 09:21:50

Friends of ours pulled their elder dd out of childcare when her little brother was born and it didn't help her at all, she was craving stability because so much had changed at home and so also having her childcare routine taken away was a bit too much! If your cm is your mum then I think it would be great for everyone for to keep going!

sleeplessbunny Wed 23-Apr-14 09:25:49

I am on mat leave with a 3wk old and 2yo DD still goes to CM 3 days a week. I really need those quieter days, and DD loves going. Very glad we decided to keep her at the CM (and that it is affordable!)

OhTheDrama Wed 23-Apr-14 09:27:04

I think it would be good for both of you to still send her a few days a week. I did this with DD1 when I had DD2. She was really attached to her her CM and the other children so we felt it would be detrimental if we just took her out completely and made a big change to her routine at the time a new baby was arriving. It meant that I had time with the baby and could get the house sorted and I also feel that DD1 was very accepting of DD2 because of this. We didn't really get any jealousy which I was really anxious about.

GoooRooo Wed 23-Apr-14 09:29:03

My DS goes to nursery three days a week. He will continue to go when I'm on maternity leave

a) He loves it

b) I don't want his routine disrupted more than necessary and worry if I take him out he might struggle to resettle when he goes back

c) It will give me an opportunity to have one-on-one time with the baby when it arrives and a chance for a rest and much needed sleep for the three weeks I'll be off before my due date

MrsSpencerReid Wed 23-Apr-14 09:30:47

We kept ds1 in nursery when ds2 was born, he still does the same no of days, he enjoys it and I get time to do things like laundry!! I felt it was important for him to keep some routine (and we would have lost his place if we'd removed him)

MrsSpencerReid Wed 23-Apr-14 09:31:28

Actually, what gooorooo said smile

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Wed 23-Apr-14 09:32:53

I kept childcare exactly the same.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Wed 23-Apr-14 09:40:01

Ahh good to hear these responses!

She is usually there half day tues and wed, full day thurs and fri. Maybe I could drop it down to just two full days?

DD will start preschool in January, every afternoon 12.30-3.30, so it would then go down to two half days for dm.

I suppose I could let her pick which days too, make it better for DM.

Thanks!

RubyrooUK Wed 23-Apr-14 09:47:22

My toddler went to nursery part time for shorter days when I had his little brother. Normally he goes full time.

It was a brilliant decision. He kept some routine at a time when lots changed and had some time when not everything was about the baby.
DS1 also got lots of time with me and the baby.

DS1 also didn't get out of his nursery routine which meant it wasn't a struggle resettling him on my return to work. And also DS2 was so used to going to nursery to get/drop off DS1 that I think that helped him settle there too.

ipswichwitch Wed 23-Apr-14 10:10:09

DS1 was at nursery 3 days a week before I had DS2. I kept him on 3 days until DS2 was about a month old then dropped to 1 day. He loves it there and can do the sort of messy play that it's really difficult to do at home. It gives me one day where I can focus 100% on DS2 so I can do stuff like baby massage, which I can't take DS1 to. It also keeps him in a familiar routine (MIL still comes over on her day that she had him too), and will make returning to work easier as I won't need to resettle him at nursery.

TKKW Wed 23-Apr-14 10:39:40

Most people who I know who can afford it or get govt assisted places continue to send their children to childcare even when they are on maternity.

DC1 starts her "free" 15 hours per week in sept. Until september, she goes to CM and nursery for two half days, so 11 hours a week in total.

Its so worthwhile and DH wants to increase it when newborn is actually here.

I get to clean and tidy in peace and do all those errands in town which would take twice as long if id had my 3 year old with me.

It keeps her socialising and provides routine, also, I'll be able to take dc2 to some baby groups.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Wed 23-Apr-14 10:57:59

I do remember being tired a lot when dd was born, for a good six weeks or so (physocally worn out rather than just lack of sleep) so it would be good to have a couple of days where the newborn and I can just rest up indoors and dd isnt then restricted to tv/indoor play.

theborrower Wed 23-Apr-14 12:02:36

What GoooRooo said.

We may drop to 2 days at nursery to save a bit of cash, but then again, the Scottish government's extra free hours come into effect around the same time so we may keep to three days (nursery are going to let me know the price difference soon).

I had an EMCS and terrible time feeding DD so I feel that some quiet one to one time with the new baby will be essential. Plus, I will be returning to work after mat leave and I don't want chop and change DD's routine too much. It's also her pre school so fairly important I think.

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