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16 weeks pregnant and worrying about baby....being totally irrational

(16 Posts)
EmilyJane86 Mon 21-Apr-14 15:37:49

I'm 16 weeks pregnant and I'm finding the wait for the 20 week scan excruciating (yea that bad).I can't stop worrying something is wrong with the baby. I have no reason to think this and I know I'm being irrational. I've had no bleeding or pains. I even rented a doppler thinking it would ease my worry...I can hear the babies heartbeat even the midwife found the heartbeat two weeks ago. However this has not helped at all! I start to think maybe I'm using it wrong and it's not the baby I'm hearing. I don't have to see the midwife till I'm 25 weeks now either so I can't really ask her and if I did I'm sure she would think I'm insane. I sure as hell feel like I am being totally mental.

mammaof4girls Mon 21-Apr-14 15:43:34

hugs hun I share your irrational worrying! im 31 weeks with number 5 and I feel I've worried more and more with each pregnancy with no reasoning behind it. I was the same as you with waiting for my 20 week scan and panicking that something was going to be wrong. everything looks fine on my scans but I dont think I will feel better until baby is safely here. I hope ypu feel better after your scan and manage to enjoy your pregnancy x

22honey Mon 21-Apr-14 16:49:37

Hi there, I'm 23+1 with DC1 now and was exactly the same as you around the same time. It didnt help I had a horrible uncomfortable pressure around 16-17 weeks (baby has been very low until now., had the same pressure 21-23 weeks, seems to be bad during growth spurt times) which felt like they were going to fall out! As you can imagine I was beside myself with worry about that aswell as all the other typical 20 week scan worries. Please be assured that there is only a 1% chance of anything being wrong at your 20 weeks scan, the chances are heavily in favour of a healthy baby.

Obviously nothing anyone says stops the worrying, I believe its natural and unfortunately I am still worrying often even though I am on my way to viability at the end of this week (have to say its not as bad as before 20 week scan, but worse in some ways as I am much more attached). I didn't use a doppler either and cant afford extra reassurance scans so just generally sat and hoped for the best. I was terrified the morning of my scan something would be wrong, but it did comfort me slightly the fact that some serious problems would be able to be seen at the 12 week scan, and that theres a good chance my baby is healthy if its still alive and kicking (well, you might not feel that yet!) at this late stage.

You are not alone, please try not to worry I'm sure everything will be fine! The day of my 20 week scan was lovely as I'd spent so long working myself up and worrying about it, even almost crying upon going into the scan room that it was amazing beyond words to not only hear she was healthy, but to hear she was a girl! (DP had secretly hoped for a girl, and I do love the idea of a daughter). It was lovely and I'm sure the same will happen for you. xx

EmilyJane86 Mon 21-Apr-14 17:21:30

Thank you I feel much better now and more normal knowing I'm not the only worrier

weebairn Mon 21-Apr-14 17:42:00

This is a weird time, you don't really look very pregnant and you don't really know what's happening and most people don't feel as sick/tired as the first trimester. It's easier once you get a bump and kicks I think.

I am also 17 weeks and just starting to get movements which are lovely. But I do feel a bit like I'm faking it.

weebairn Mon 21-Apr-14 17:42:28

I also find scans very stressful and don't enjoy them at all. I can't wait till the 20w one is over, so I can relax a bit!

ClaretAndBlue30 Tue 22-Apr-14 13:20:46

I'm also 16 weeks and I was saying to my DH last night that its now been 'long enough since my 12 week scan to worry again' - i.e. my reassurance only lasts a certain length of time! I also have very few symptoms now in comparison to the 1st trimester (I am very grateful for that but even at the worst points it was a bit of reassurance to feel so rough!)

I also feel like i'm faking this! Until I have a proper bump and regular kicks i think i'll feel a bit of a fraud.

I think what everyone else says is right, pregnancy is just moving from one worry to the next. We just need to try and relax and be assured that the odds are in our favour! x

HopefulHamster Tue 22-Apr-14 13:29:29

I am 16 weeks and convinced something has gone wrong at the moment. I don't seem to have a bump, can't feel movements, just feel normal! 20 week scan is in 4.5 weeks. No idea how I'll handle the wait!

EmilyJane86 Tue 22-Apr-14 19:52:23

It's awful isn't it. When I've spoken about my fears to some other women who have kids they look at me like I'm mad! I know girls that are pregnant too and around the same duration as me and they don't seem to worry at all either. Wish I could just relax and enjoy my pregnancy

lolee777 Tue 22-Apr-14 22:07:47

Hi, Good to know I'm not alone, you have my sympathies too. I am nearly 18 weeks now and have my 20 week scan on 14th May which at 20 +6 days is the latest date you can have it and I'm my brain has been going mad with the worry. I have been trying to get a appt earlier but have to wait for a cancellation which means calling the scan dpt several times a week. I know I am being silly and realise I cant do much about the wait, I can talk myself into a positive frame of thought if I really try knowing 12 week scan was fine and its just normal to worry and to keep concentrating on what I can do to look after me and bump. I have promised myself that after this scan I will chill out.

mssleepyhead Tue 22-Apr-14 22:23:10

I booked a gender scan for £40 at 18 weeks. It wasn't supposed to be a reassurance thing, we had reasons for wanting to know the gender if possible by a certain date, but it was wonderful to see him wiggling around at 18 weeks and carried me over to 20 weeks nicely.

Just a suggestion!

lolee777 Tue 22-Apr-14 22:56:26

mssleepyhead that's a great idea thank you. EmilyJane86I have just had look at private gender scans available near me and have found a uk wide company called ultrasound-direct who do a gender scan for £79, I will have to do some research and find reviews but I think I may do that.

EmilyJane86 Tue 22-Apr-14 23:58:49

I would love to do that. I already had an early scan privately at around 8 weeks for 100 as I was convinced I was having an ectopic pregnancy....had terrible implantation and growing pains. Unfortunately we really can't afford to have another private scan. I get married in 6 weeks and I've only had a month to plan so far (shot gun wedding kind of thing). I really want a gender scan booo

FoxHugs Wed 23-Apr-14 01:17:48

As a natural "Worst Case Scrnario" expert I most certainly understand you.

If you really are that worried, and can spare a few £££'s, as many have already suggested - book in for a private scan. Normally they're a lot more in depth than NHS ones, you will get value for money.

If the above is not an option, please feel reassured by the fact that many problems get picked up early on at 12 week scans (read that on the notice board while awaiting my scan).
Obviously the 20 week scans are there for a good reason, but that note outside the sonographer's office kept me grounded during my hour of need.

Be careful with the Doppler. A simple search term "caution against home fetal Doppler devices" will explain the dangers and cases better than I can.
Also (this comes from a good authority) even young obstetricians and trainee midwives get their Doppler readings wrong (was duly informed of this at the hospital). Somebody here said that she'd obtained instructions from the internet, and is therefore now an expert Doppler user. A statement which I find slightly peremptory and very fatuous considering that said medical professionals are gathering their knowledge from extensive med school lessons and hands on practice, not a one page internet manual. How this lady thought she's on the same par (if not above, in her opinion) with doctors and midwives to be is beyond me.

Chances are that everything will work out just fine. Even though this may be of little comfort, hopefully it'll help a little bit until it's confirmed by a scan / doctor / midwife.

Best wishes thanks

jaykay34 Wed 23-Apr-14 07:46:23

No words of advice - but I am 18 weeks pregnant, and am also really worried about the 20 week scan. In fact I am terrified !

I've got 11 year old twins and remember bring excited about the 20 week scan because I would find out the sex...bit with this one, I'm terrified something will be wrong.

I had a scan on Friday because I had a small bleed - and baby looked fine - but it wasn't in depth and it didn't reassure me at all.

Perhaps its a natural thing to worry !

EmilyJane86 Wed 23-Apr-14 08:21:17

I've heard the heartbeat on the midwives dipper too. I wish I could afford the private scan but the wedding and getting house sorted for the baby is taking all my funds. 3 weeks and 4 days till my scan yay

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