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Anyone else a bit fed up of comments?

(24 Posts)
insanelycheerful Sun 20-Apr-14 19:35:05

I am currently 19 weeks with DC3 and just feeling a bit fed up of comments about how big I am! I have to agree that my bump isn't exactly small, and I've seen pics of a friend on Facebook who is due a few weeks ahead of me but looks tiny still (admittedly she is very slim anyway), but do people have to keep telling me I am big?!

I am size 10-12 and was around 9 and a half stone pre pregnancy. Weighed myself today and I was 10 stone 5, so have put on quite a bit of weight. I think most of it is bump though rather than all over (hard to tell when you're in maternity jeans etc rather than normal clothes...). I was so nauseous in the 1st trimester but found I just wanted to eat through the sickness, it was the only thing that helped, so now I'm paranoid I have piled on way too much and am going to end up ginormous come September when I am due!

I do tend to make quite big babies (DS1 was 8lb 11oz and DS2 was 7lb 1oz but was born at 36+5!) so am probably not destined to have a tiny neat bump, and I don't necessarily believe this is the ultimate objective in pregnancy anyway, but it just makes me feel a bit down getting so many comments about being big.

TheBuggerlugs Sun 20-Apr-14 19:36:41

Tell them to fuck off. Comments about size are unnecessary and not thought through.

insanelycheerful Sun 20-Apr-14 19:41:33

I do take your point, Buggerlugs. One was my (usually lovely) MIL, however! Just can't help but feel an unspoken implication that small neat bumps are the only/best way to be pregnant, when in actual fact does it really matter?!

Chipandspuds Sun 20-Apr-14 19:43:16

Ahh I'm expecting DC2 and expecting a huge bump again! Just ignore people's comments, it's probably because they can't think of anything sensible to say and just have verbal diahhrea!

TheBuggerlugs Sun 20-Apr-14 19:54:52

If you were small she'd probably tell you how little your bump is. Just smile and say "thanks, just the confidence boost I need" and walk off. It should hopefully make her realise.

Tuckingfypo Sun 20-Apr-14 20:01:09

I wouldn't compare yourself to others, it'll just get you down.

I had the opposite, a tiny bump (on a size 16 frame) and to look at me you couldn't tell I was pregnant. I used to get bump envy at the pregnant people who had lovely big round bumps, especially when I was buying nappies and a woman asked me if I'd just had a baby. I was due in 2 weeks confused

In the end though me and the ladies with their lovely big bumps both got the same end result, a beautiful baby smile

RAFWife12 Sun 20-Apr-14 20:06:02

I get the 'you're getting big' comments. They bug me, especially when it's the 5th person of the morning! Try to ignore them, but say something if you feel you need to/can.

ithoughtofitfirst Sun 20-Apr-14 20:51:45

I always found the best way was to kind of agree with whatever the comment was e.g. Oh you're neat! Yes I know I am really neat aren't I?! I still cant believe how small you are! Yeah I know me neither ! #*%$#$-+$#%&

Etc

LucyB1 Sun 20-Apr-14 21:06:10

My mum keeps calling me fat! I'm not fat!!!!! confused

mummytobejuly2014 Sun 20-Apr-14 22:32:42

totally fed up too. I used to be a size 6 on top and am 8/10 on bottom. im buying size 10 mat jeans & size small tops. im 29wks and feel huge, alot of normal tops arent long enough anymore sad
my bust hasnt got much bigger just the giant bump. yes I know im huge yes I know im guna be a whale by july. just the confidence boosts we need. SM keeps saying I must be at least a size 12/14 now, erm no im a size 10 as before. im now 10st 4lb & was 9st 3lb at 10wk booking appointment. 9st 3lb is biggest ive ever been never mind now 10st 4lb.
people should realise how insensitive they are commenting on bump size. think we should all start & comment on the size of people commentings arses lol!
at the start it was all; "when are you due?"
"was it planned?" (what business is that of ANYONE?)
"are you's guna get married now? "(no we haven't for the last 7yrs, not going to now cos a baby is coming)
"are you guna find out what you're having?"
""what are you having?"
"oh, is that what you were hoping for?"(like we have a choice/preference)
"are you planning on breastfeeding? " (why do you need to know that?)
"when do you finish work?"
"when are you going back?"

argh, why does everyone ask the same nosey q's?!
a simple congrats/are you excited should be enough

alita7 Sun 20-Apr-14 23:29:25

at least they believe you're pregnant I guess :p I'd be gutted if I was so small people were giving me confused looks!

scrufhead Mon 21-Apr-14 09:58:04

My sister is the worst.. calls me tubby and fat because she thinks she can! she even commented on the lines I have underneath my bra.. "back fat" she said. She's 8 stone wet through and immature so I let it go over my head for now because she thinks she is going to be there for the birth.. HA!! Big shock for her!

squizita Mon 21-Apr-14 10:25:56

Alita I have been asked (19 weeks, small bump, quite a small build) basically if it's baby or a fat belly. MORTIFYING
Thankful I can say baby really, but how rude there must be a risk some women might have IBS or something and a sticky-out-belly and feel awful!

insanelycheerful Mon 21-Apr-14 12:01:26

Thanks for the replies, it is nice to have some solidarity! smile

Mummytobe I know what you mean re all the questions too!! I've been asked several times if it was planned. That just seems so personal to me! And given that we already have 2 DC I think I probably know how it all works! Either way, is it really any of your business?!

Also as I have 2 DSs, quite a few people have said "oh you must really want a girl then?" Even after I've already said I don't mind either way. Do they think I am just lying?? So then I explain that yes a girl would be wonderful and I'd love one, but also my boys are incredible and another one of them would be brilliant too. I always feel like I am having to explain myself, either my size, my gender preferences (or lack of), my decision not to find out the sex, whether I used contraception or not....I think I need to learn the nod and smile technique!!

insanelycheerful Mon 21-Apr-14 12:03:16

Also to the person who said they envied the mums with big bumps, I do sympathise and you have made me feel very lucky to have a nice big bump. It is so true we all end up with a lovely baby at the end of it, and that is what I should focus on when I feel a bit riled! Thank you.

FoodieMum3 Mon 21-Apr-14 13:00:03

Hi, I'm also 19+ weeks and very big bump also. Undeniably pregnant appearance (constantly being asked when am I due), carrying rather high and 'pointy' as my dd says confused

Anyway, I really find it comforting as my bump last time was absolutely tiny until 36 weeks or so. I had the most annoying, worrying comments from people and was constantly worried about baby being small or under nourished (silly I know) blush

insanelycheerful Mon 21-Apr-14 13:04:59

Thanks foodie. It does me good to get the alternative perspective here! All we want is healthy babies hey? It does seem we are fair game to comments from all and sundry when we are pregnant though!

FoodieMum3 Mon 21-Apr-14 13:07:05

Oh and I'm also pregnancy with dc3 but have 2 dd's. I get the boy comments almost every single day. What is it with people? angry

LJBanana Mon 21-Apr-14 13:12:37

Insanely you sound just like me a few weeks ago.
We now have DS3 (4 weeks) I had the whole -do you want a girl which has turned into did you want a girl!
Was is planned and your huge is there just one in there etc. I didn't put on 2 stone's and baby was 9lb 12.5 oz so mostly baby and just a bit of cake!
People loose their tact completely around pregnant people. It seems ok for some to ask very personal and bizarre questions and comment on your weight. You'll be preggers for 9 months, they'll be odd forever.
Enjoy your lovely bump, i

LJBanana Mon 21-Apr-14 13:13:21

Ooops I was meant to finish with-I'm sure your look fabulous!!!

22honey Mon 21-Apr-14 17:53:13

Oh yes, DSIL told me when I was only 18 weeks (first baby, I am slim as it is!) that I was tiny, didn't have a bump and didn't look pregnant at all! No shit sherlock, its totally normal not to be showing at 18 weeks! Sigh...bloody comments eh?

22honey Mon 21-Apr-14 17:55:49

haha Foodie, my other DSIL (neither of them have any kids, so atleast their lack of knowledge can be forgiven :D) told me when I was a mere 12 weeks that I was having a boy because of the way I was carrying! Lmao I could have pissed my pants!!

As it is, I'm having a girl.

weebairn Mon 21-Apr-14 18:04:20

No comments. Don't think anyone has noticed. I feel a little bit bigger at 17 weeks but wearing same clothes as usual.

I actually love the attention you get when you finally get your bump (I was a late developer last pregnancy too and had a smallish baby, 6 lb 14 oz) - but I probably wouldn't if I was getting that attention from early on! So you have my sympathies. (Though I still secretly crave my bump)

There's only one acceptable thing to say to a pregnancy woman: what a LOVELY bump. That's the only thing I ever say to anyone who I know is pregnant, ever!

insanelycheerful Mon 21-Apr-14 19:29:23

Weebairn that is sound advice! I am the same, the only comment I look to make on someone's bump is to say how nice it is. Big or small, they are all lovely! And it costs nothing but makes the recipient feel a million dollars!

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