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MIL wants a veto on the name.....

(53 Posts)
Sparkle9 Tue 15-Apr-14 10:52:14

My mum is over the moon about the pregnancy. She is saving money to buy the best pram possible and is planning her annual leave around the due date etc etc.

MIL on the other hand has told me that she doesn't like babies, won't be that interested in the baby, is going to book (note: hasn't booked already) a holiday abroad for 2 weeks either side of the due date ("you won't be bothered, will you?"). Then she said "I want a veto on the name." Eh what? "I don't want you giving it some stupid name." I thought she was joking but she was serious. I explained that she couldn't have a veto and we would be finding out the sex and will have come up with a short list or even the actual name before baby is born. She had previously said she didn't want to know the sex even if we found out. "Well you can tell me the sex then." I said "ok but you are still now getting a veto." She then said that there was no point in telling her anything then!

Strange lady! DP and I have already said that we like normal traditional names so I have no idea what she wants to veto!

Does anyone have strange MIL or own mum stories?

Sparkle9 Tue 15-Apr-14 10:53:04

Should say not instead of now! Stupid autocorrect!

HolidayCriminal Tue 15-Apr-14 10:58:08

Smile sweetly & ignore. Send your DH to deal with her if getting on your nerves.

squizita Tue 15-Apr-14 10:58:58

Weird. Also as she'll be on hols when dc is born, how did she imagine shed veto anything? You could have it all done and dusted (Moon-unit, Apple, Snoop Dog... Lol) before she returned! grin Part of me thinks that it would be an epic prank to call little John or Jane a strange name the first time she visits and pretend its real hahaha! [Evil emoticon]

ElseaStars Tue 15-Apr-14 10:59:35

Nip her behavior in the bud now grin. My MIL was a nightmare when we had my DD. She had to be there at scans and waited outside the delivery room when she was born (then tried to leave with her), took over when she was a baby (I had a PND), constantly put down my parenting (which she managed to "pass off as advice"). My OH thought this was normal behavior (thought I was being paranoid with the PND) and it got worse and we still have problems to this day. When she comes over she still dominates and buys DD loads of shit (mostly Disney toys). She now has limited contact and is supervised at all times.

Sunnydaysablazeinhope Tue 15-Apr-14 11:02:40

I'd wind her up for next nine months.

Baby will be named peaches after geldof as you were so sad about it. Peaches James if a boy.

You love celebrity names like apple, zowie, river

You like modern names like Chardonnay loreal Rooney

And mask ones you do like so you like traditional like Mavis dolly Norman DIck

And no of course no veto. Might as well have fun with this one!

BlessedAssurance Tue 15-Apr-14 11:13:12

I have posted about this in the last couple of weeks. MIL decided that the name we had given our son was not good enough for her so she started calling him Boa insteadangry I told her technically she could call him anything she wanted. The only problem was that I was not happy with that NN. She told me to bugger off and said she could call him whatever she wanted and didn't care what I thought or felt. It was the same day i brought my son home and with hormones flying everywhere i got pissed off and told her to leave. We have never been close and that's another thread..

ElseaStars Tue 15-Apr-14 11:18:05

Blessed thats horrible. I thought my MIL had a screw loose.

whattoWHO Tue 15-Apr-14 11:22:47

Tell her the only veto that'll be going on is when you veto her visits/interference.

lottieandmia Tue 15-Apr-14 11:24:44

A cousin of mine deliberately chose a name the MIL didn't like because she was trying to do the same.

alita7 Tue 15-Apr-14 11:26:46

tell her where to put her veto ;)

I agree with squiz tell her a stupid name as a wind up ;)

OnlyLovers Tue 15-Apr-14 11:29:40

Well, she and her veto can piss off, can't they?

But I agree you should wind her up in the meantime. Text a regularly updated list of names, all culled from online stripper-name generators and the like.

Mignonette Tue 15-Apr-14 11:32:18

Ha ha- not interested in the baby but interested enough to interfere with the choice of name.

I'd suggest she books a holiday lasting for the whole of the babies first year. wink

MrsDeVere Tue 15-Apr-14 11:34:18

My OH told me that his DM chose the baby names in the family.
Not mine she bloody didn't.

TBF it never came from her. It was OH who bought it up.

JRmumma Tue 15-Apr-14 11:34:29

That is unreal! If she doesn't care enough to specifically go on holiday to avoid the birth then how on earth does she imagine that she has any say on the name or any other decision you make for your child.

If she doesn't like babies then clearly she doesn't need to meet them until they are at least 3 years old. Should give her enough time to sort her attitude out grin

Viviennemary Tue 15-Apr-14 11:34:39

Tell her you will be calling the baby Veto.

bauhausfan Tue 15-Apr-14 11:37:13

Veto sounds quite cool - like a Norwegian hero. Veto Langhammer.

SuburbanSpaceperson Tue 15-Apr-14 11:38:39

Ooh, I love the name Veto, especially for a boy. grin

MaryWestmacott Tue 15-Apr-14 11:38:58

Smile then say in a slow voice (like you were trying to explain something tricky to a small child) "no, you only get to have a say over naming your own baby. This is our baby so we'll pick the name we want." then don't discuss any names with her. At all. other than to say you won't be naming it after DH as you both agree he has a horrible name and what was she thinking?

Viviennemary Tue 15-Apr-14 11:40:14

You weren't supposed to like the name.grin

MaryWestmacott Tue 15-Apr-14 11:42:56

Or go with Vito, as in Vito Corleone...

mssleepyhead Tue 15-Apr-14 16:16:10

when we found out we were having a boy, the first thing my in laws did (MIL and SIL) was send a text with names that we weren't "allowed" to call him. one of our favourite names was on the list. i'd never heard my DH shout at his mum until that moment, but he went crazy at her. she hasn't said anything like it since... still. considering announcing a "celeb" name when he's born, just for the fun of it.

Sparkle9 Tue 15-Apr-14 16:29:04

Ha ha thanks for the replies! DSIL did also tell me that I wasn't allowed a particular girls name even though it has been one of my favourites for a long time!

OnlyLovers Tue 15-Apr-14 16:39:18

And how did you respond, OP? With a big fat 'Do piss off', I hope? grin

Panzee Tue 15-Apr-14 16:43:35

Vito for a boy. Vita for a girl.

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