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So angry after seeing the consultant yesterday...

(19 Posts)
Nades84 Sat 12-Apr-14 21:30:43

Sorry this is a bit of a long ranty one! angry

With DS I ended up having an EMCS (48 hours of labour that failed to progress after induction resulting in a very distressed baby) this time round I was adamant from the beginning that I was going to have an ELCS so I didn't have to go through the trauma again of nearly losing my baby (one doctor told me last time I would never be able to give birth naturally).

So yesterday I had my 36 week appointment to discuss my 'delivery'. At previous meetings with one of the other consultants and MW's it's been agreed every time that I'll definitely be having another section...until yesterday.

I am still raging now angry The consultant waltzed in the room, completely ignored DP and then started to berate me about my weight (yes I have a high BMI but until now it hasn't been mentioned and apart from SPD my pregnancy has been great) then she proceeded to talk about induction...erm?! My face must have been filled with terror! When I said no I'm having a section she replied "oh no you're not" she hadn't even looked at my notes, thought I had a normal delivery last time!! I had no words to say I was so angry. Then she dropped the bomb, I can book in for a section BUT if I go into labour before then they will expect me to 'see how I get on' (exact words I heard last time and look how that ended up!). I just sat there shaking my head saying no I'm not going through that again and she just turned round and said 'you'll have to'

So basically I'm now terrified of going into labour before my section on the 6th May. Can they force me into trying a natural birth even though there's no way I'll be able to do it and will be traumatised again if I have to try? So so angry, all I wanted to do was sit there and cry!

Oh and I noticed afterwards that she'd wrote I had ++ketones on my notes and never even mentioned it to me, no idea what it means so that's another thing I have to worry about sad

peeapod Sat 12-Apr-14 21:36:07

when is your section? week 39? I think its a very low figure that go into labour before then.. something like 5%.

I would ask for a 2nd opinion with a different consultant. it doesnt sound like you have a very supportive one.

whereisthewitch Sat 12-Apr-14 21:43:21

Definitely demand ti see a different consultant and make a complaint about that one you saw. No one can push you around you are an adult. I've told a few HCPs off in my time for treating me like an ignoramus, most recently a midwife last week and I'm not even a confrontational person but sometimes when you're pregnant they treat you like your brain has shrunk!

Nades84 Sat 12-Apr-14 22:15:35

I'll be 39+3, really hope I'm not going to be in that 5%! Who would I ask to see a different consultant? I'm seeing my MW on Thursday, she's amazing. Problem is though at the hospital I've chosen I'm classed as being 'out of area' so my community MW'S are all under another one. Surely they must still be in contact with my hospital though? Think I'm definitely going to make a complaint, still can't get over the way she spoke to me, haven't felt that small and intimidated in a long long time sad

whereisthewitch Sat 12-Apr-14 22:40:34

Speak to your midwife or the head of midwifery in your area and see who you need to speak to to change consultant. Don't be afraid to put your foot down or speak out especially when you're being made to feel so awful, I was treated like a child during my first pregnancy and labour and I swore I wouldn't let it happen again I'm over 30 ffs!

Hope you get sorted OP, do you have any pushy friends that could accompany you to further appointments grin

weebigmamma Sat 12-Apr-14 22:55:30

Complain to the health trust that your hospital comes under. That's what i dis when my consultant refused to talk to me about a section. Within days the section was booked because the head midwife got the letter and organised a meeting. She was brilliant. I was in bits- so nervous. I hate making a fuss and I cried and everything, but it was worth it and she was lovely. I had my section 3 days ago and it was a lovely experience. I wish you lots of luck- keeping pushing for what you know is right. One consultant can't have the final say. xxx

Nades84 Sun 13-Apr-14 12:15:32

Thanks whereisthewitch I'm going to give my MW a call tomorrow, I'm still angry two days later! Grr! I think that's what I'm struggling with, she spoke to me like I was a child, bloody 30 this year! DP is fuming too so think I might let him loose on them, if not my Gran is great at times like this hehe smile

Congratulations weebigmamma smile so glad you had a lovely experience with your section, hope mine goes the same! Thanks for your advice, I'll see how far I get with my MW tomorrow and if not I'll complain directly to the trust. Enjoy your newborn cuddles smile xx

peeapod Sun 13-Apr-14 12:26:10

by the way.. my section..? booked for the 8th may smile

ilovemonstersInc Sun 13-Apr-14 12:31:49

You can speak to head of mw at the hospital too
im out of area for the hosp I go to but im not happy withddelivering thereagain.

Thats horrible how you was treated!
.

Nades84 Sun 13-Apr-14 12:41:29

Not long until we meet our babies peeapod smile I'm hoping these next 3 weeks don't drag, the rest of my pregnancy has gone so quickly! I was hoping that I could bring my CS forward sl

Nades84 Sun 13-Apr-14 12:57:09

Arrgh stupid phone! I was hoping to bring it forward because of my SPD and the fact I'm measuring 4 weeks ahead but didn't even want to get into that with that horrible woman!

Yeah I think I will speak to the head MW at the hospital too, going to kick up a right stink!

hubbahubster Sun 13-Apr-14 13:39:18

Complain complain complain. Make sure you mention the fact that ketones weren't explained to you too.

God it really gets my goat when hospitals treat pregnant women like stupid, naughty children.

Good luck!

IMissSleep Sun 13-Apr-14 14:03:22

I'm in the same boat.

Booked in for this thurs (39+6!!) because consultant wouldn't do it before. I tried getting it moved, they said no. Without a "medical" reason.

But - I was told that if I labour naturally then I can still have a section. Good luck

IMissSleep Sun 13-Apr-14 14:04:37

Just to add

I'm bed bound with sciatica and spd and have had on going kidney infections since 26wks and that has made no difference! Roll on thurs hmm

Nades84 Sun 13-Apr-14 17:25:28

Good luck for Thursday IMissSleep how can they not class you being bed bound with sciatica and kidney infections a medical reason?! At least they've said you can still have your section if you start to labour naturally, I'm going to fight to have that put in my notes this week! Good luck again, hope everything goes well for you, not long before you'll be having those newborn cuddles smile

IMissSleep Sun 13-Apr-14 17:44:00

I know it's so frustrating! And I've had constant scar pain. Just be adamant that a section is your only option.

Good luck wink

lizzywig Sun 13-Apr-14 18:23:46

You poor thing. I would be asking why i was told last time that i shouldn't labour naturally and why this time no one has mentioned to you previously that you couldn't have cs. Outrageous. I.hope you get what you want and need.

Ferreroroche123 Sun 13-Apr-14 19:11:47

How out of order. Things like this are the reason I am choosing a private delivery. But even to date, my nhs antenatal care has at times resulted in arguments and crying to the consultant because she is so blasé and dismissive.

She let a UTI develop despite noting white blood cells in my urine and the fact I went into labour 8 weeks early due to a UTI in my previous pregnancy. She wanted to discharge me to midwife despite me having an ongoing complication, and my mum had to cry at her before she would give me a course of antibiotics for my UTI.

I have got what I needed by standing my ground, and with the birth I am not willing to compromise or argue when I am giving birth so I am going private and paying for what I want even though I can't really afford it.

frankiebuns Sun 13-Apr-14 19:15:32

My consultant said exactly the same thing to me I was mentally scared by ds labour 19 hours of induced hell for no reason as they knew he was mal positioned and had emc where son was blue and 0-1 on apgar scale there was no way on earth I was doing it again and she said if I went into labour b4 c section date I would be left to see how id go! The words f@#k no came out my mouth but she i nsisted! At the mo my bp is up and they wouldn't want me to push that much or at all but I'm petrified! Id love her to be a bit early but the words still ring in my head, she even refered me to a birth consultantg to discuss my previous birth to see if it would help change my mind, I am also of the bigger type and she spouted off all these reasons why it was best to push but at the moment I'm stuck betwen a rock and a hard place! She also told me that I would be constantly monitored so pool was out of the queztion and that 1 in so many the womb ruptures along c scar, with my daamn luck it would bed me! But on other side they will have to cut through myh placenta as its right where thy would do a c section so either way I'm dreading it!

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