A week tomorrow I'm due to have an ELCS and I'm rapidly questioning this decision.
In May 2010 I was induced at 40+9 and had a 3a tear. No forceps or ventouse. I was stitched in theatre immediately and told that the "3rd degree but was minimal". Stitches never healed. Three months later I went for a full restitch under GA and whilst under the consultant did a minor rectocele repair.
Fast forward to this pregnancy. I've been adamant I wanted a section, still scarred from the carnage of the last birth (also had PPH and MROP). I've discussed it with a consultant three times who has supported my decision and the consultant who did the repair surgery wrote in my discharge letter that a section should be granted.
But now, with 8 days to go I'm really questioning it. I'm petrified of the op, I mean totally and perhaps irrationally paralysed by fear. What would you all do? Try a vaginal birth with a very strict and concrete birth plan for if things show that tearing again is inevitable? Have the ELCS?
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A week to go and doubting my decision :-(
Tea1Sugar · 07/04/2014 19:48
I had rectocele repair after baby 3 and am having a c section in a few weeks for baby 4... The consultant told me if I have birth naturally there was a huge risk of the rectocele repost being damaged and I would be looking at double Incontinence followed by major surgery... I'm embracing the planned section as much as possible 
I don't think that any of us can make the decision for you or even really advise you, but FWIW I think the decision for an elective CS has been made for a good reason in your case 
.
What exactly terrifies you so much?
The anaesthetic?
The actual operation?
The recovery?
Going home with the new baby?
Your pre-op assessment is v likely going to be with the anaesthetist so they are the best person to ask any questions about that aspect of things.
I've had VB and a CS and tbh, there is so much more to motherhood than how the baby comes out, that I don't have v strong feelings either way.
What exactly scares you so terribly??
Ah. Cross-post. Sorry.
Yes, spinal is odd. V disconcerting. Would you prefer a general anaesthetic? Or an epidural?? (That may be possible, but I am no expert).
Going home with new baby to active toddler. Hm. Yes, not easy, but doable. A nice relaxed CS should leave you less uncomfortable than you might think. Accept the Voltarol suppository you are likely to be offered in theatre - magic stuff . Have lots of pain relief at home and take regular laxatives (codeine bungs you up).
Lochia - how heavy or not they are depends on many factors, delivery is only one of them. Bleeding can be less long after CS because you will have had a proper 'clear out' while in theatre.
Don't focus on the rare and horrible things that might happen, but likely never will. Heart attacks in labour are as rare as hen's teeth, whereas nasty tears are not .
Or consider a water birth?? Seriously, v calming, v soothing and may make your labour easier. Would you consider discussing your fears and your options with the Supervisor of Midwifery?
Write all your questions down.
Make sure you get to ask them all.
Can somebody go with you to act as a 2nd set of eyes and ears and to back you up?
Are you at increased risk of tearing this time round?
Like I said, none of us can truly advise you here; you need RL advice about the pros and cons.
What do you normally find helpful for your anxiety? Anything to help calm you, to allow you think through your options calmly?
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I had a third degree tear the first time round - complete shock to me as it was a scenario I had not thought about or planned for. I was whisked off to theatre not long after dd was born (although did get to hold her and cuddle her etc while they were debating if it was a second or third degree tear!). I had a spinal block and was stitched up in theatre. I healed well but it took a long time (and I mean over a year) to feel 'ok' or anywhere near normal.
Most of what I found traumatic was the unknown. I just didn't know what was happening. I was high on adrenaline of having a baby but felt completely out of control and what I thought would happen after giving birth.
I'm now 33 weeks pregnant and am planning on having a vaginal birth. I have discussed it at length and want to do it again as it doesn't mean it will happen again, I feel I know what to expect and also know that i probably pushed too hard and she shot out of me which is why i tore! I considered an ELCS but actually felt more scared about that than a vaginal birth - I think because I have done it once so know what it is like whereas I don't know what a ELCS is like.
But that is me. I think you have to sit and really think about what you want. Not what you think you should want or what you would want in an ideal world, but what you feel most comfortable with in this situation.
Good luck and I hope whatever you decide it all goes well!
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