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Is it okay to say I'm not a fan of the pregnancy experience?

(82 Posts)
januaryJump Sat 05-Apr-14 12:44:24

Only 7wks with DC2 (surprise baby! DC1 is 16mo). Already tired of the 24h nausea - well, I'm just tired anyway - and had first vomit this morning, ick. Housework already taking a backseat and planning to go on leave at earliest opportunity, around 27wks. Sounds early days, I know, but all I can think of is taking time off and hiring a cleaner blush Hips, back and pelvis already ache and I can't really stomach anything other than sandwiches and lemonade. Tons to do for work and study but struggling at the moment.

I'm grateful to be pregnant and though it was a surprise we're very happy, hoping everything goes perfectly and looking forward to meeting our second little one. I know it could also be harder so I'm trying to be very positive.

...I just really don't enjoy pregnancy! I'm not the only one, right? My two closest friends "loved being pregnant" and had "fantastic pregnancies", so they don't quite understand why I don't. I'm sure I'll perk up a bit in the 2nd tri with hopefully no sickness but in pg1 I was just so tired and achey all of the time. I got a trapped nerve in my thigh that could be mega painful, had to wear Tena pads, and got acne. I never even nested! That just sort of bypassed me. I'm hoping it's different, easier, this time confused

Ok, I'm done blush

22honey Fri 11-Apr-14 19:10:18

I must be a total wuss, this is my first baby, no complications, MS went weeks ago (I'm nearly 22 weeks), I'm in my early 20s and the pregnancy hasn't took that much of a toll yet still I find myself thinking I never want to do this again! Its such hard work not being able to do certain things, its very uncomfortable at night time and I'm told its only going to get worse!

But then the worst thing by far is the worrying about my beautiful baby. Although after the 20 week scan the worry has gone much further down, the thoughts of inter uterine death and stillborn have started plaguing my mind! It is awful, emotional tiring and stressful. Months of just thinking 'I want this baby to be here and safe, I want to know its all ok and they will be here in my arms'....I'm pretty sure I'm only going to do this one or two more times! xx

romomum Fri 11-Apr-14 18:56:35

happy I found this thread, always felt guilty that I didn't enjoy pregnancy...truth is..it sucks!! constipation,morning sickness,hormonal,super tired, no sex drive, that's first trimester...second..still tired ,heart burn,hormonal,no sex drive,constipation,piles,stress incontinence,itch skin, can't get comfortable.....and most recently had infection tooth and can only take paracetamol which hardly touched the pain!! this is my third and last!!! good to have a moan mind!!grin grin

SJC2014 Thu 10-Apr-14 21:00:08

I'm 7 weeks with my first.. Not loving it I feel like shit warmed up twice

I know how your feeling smile
At least I have good days and bad days must be crappy to have all bad!

mssleepyhead Thu 10-Apr-14 20:43:16

I'm 20 weeks and even though I'm in the honeymoon trimester (ha!) I'm not enjoying it : ( and I wish people would stop telling me to. My clothes don't fit, my skin is bad, I ache constantly, I'm peeing constantly, and I'm so so so anxious about keeping this little boy safe. And so far it's been a pretty straightforward pregnancy! I love and want this little boy more than anything but sometimes I think "I'm only half way" and it makes me feel very... Frazzled. Glad I'm not alone!

buffythebarbieslayer Thu 10-Apr-14 18:56:56

39 weeks with dc3 and almost as excited about not being pregnant as meeting my little one.

We are thrilled to be having a third and that coupled with the knowledge that this is my last time, are the only things that have kept me going.

I really have tried to enjoy the nice aspects e.g. the miracle of it, movements, seeing the scans etc.

But the exhaustion, the pains, the sickness no way. Not being able to enjoy wine or food or go out because I'm too bloody knackered.

And this last bit is a mental marathon. The anticipation and desperation for it to be over. The inability to concentrate and dealing with young kids etc

ZingSweetCoconut Thu 10-Apr-14 11:47:17

congratulations jelly, wonderful news!smile thanks

ithoughtofitfirst Thu 10-Apr-14 10:48:18

Aww congratulations jellyandcake

I had such an easy 2nd and 3rd trimester my first pg that the newborn stage hit me like a brick wall. I was so unprepared looking back.

I feel like i know what's coming this time but i'm dreading it despite being more experienced. Some women just seem to cope so much better than i ever did!

I'm glad it's going more smoothly for you on the other side!

jellyandcake Thu 10-Apr-14 10:04:58

I had my baby two days ago at 37+6. I'm sleep deprived, emotional and with various aches and pains but feel wonderful because I'm not pregnant anymore! When I think I could have had a further four weeks of pregnancy, I shudder. It's so much better on the other side!

barmybunting Thu 10-Apr-14 09:56:38

This thread feels like it has been heaven sent to remind me I am still vaguely sane!

I'm only just over 8 weeks with my first, but I naively thought I would enjoy it. So far, I absolutely hate being pregnant. And I know I have a long way to go yet!! I seriously admire anyone who does this more than once. I am so fed up of feeling ill constantly, throwing up every day, hating the sight or smell of food, feeling exhausted and going to bed when I get in from work at 7pm. I feel guilty leaving DH to do everything but I'm struggling through work trying to cover it up at the moment (I'm a teacher covering someone else's maternity leave of all things) and I'm just fed up! We are so excited about the baby, but I really can't wait for the first trimester to be over in the hope I may feel more human after this.

ohthegoats Thu 10-Apr-14 07:24:33

Almost 16 weeks. Lying in an air conditioned room, in bed, next to a snoring boyfriend who is breathing out the horrible combined fumes of whisky and fags because he went out boozing until 4am (without me, obv, I just stayed in bed awake worrying about him being pissed with strangers). It's 1.15 in the afternoon, I feel like absolute shit, yet I can't leave the room because I'm in Thailand and it's a million degrees out there. The heat makes me feel much, much worse. Despite factor 30 I burnt my normally easy to tan skin in about an hour, so can't be in the sun.

Second trimester holiday they said.
Nice relaxing time they said.

I feel sick, fat and disgusting, boring, a massive party pooper, constipated, I'm totally not up for sex which is disappointing for him,, I've got stretching pains... I'm going to move in to a massage place today and see if I can stand anyone touching me.

Joy...

Sometimesbrunette Thu 10-Apr-14 02:01:50

I'm 12 weeks, oh my god it's been awful.

Doesn't mean I don't want this baby

januaryJump Tue 08-Apr-14 20:10:25

Ladylel grin Oh I can relate to that sentiment!

I remember naively thinking, pre-DC1, that I would want to jump in fairly quickly to have a second, and then after that maybe even a third. I had determined that I would need a year for my body to recover and then we could start TTC again. As I approached DC1's first birthday, I realised I wasn't ready to be pregnant again. I had a brief moment afterwards, of broodiness, but then I realised we just had so much going on and pregnancy just wouldn't fit with that - I kept remembering the nausea, the tiredness, the aches and pains etc. Next thing you know DC1 is 15mo and I'm staring at 'Pregnant' on a Clearblue Digital shock

I'm motivating myself with the thought of newborn snuggles in the not too distant future and ignoring the birth, night feeds, and having 2 under 2.

But boy, I don't think I could go for a third any time soon confused

Ladylel Tue 08-Apr-14 19:36:41

My mind is definitely not on the next one at this point in the game.

Happychick35 Tue 08-Apr-14 16:42:49

Can I join the club: I barely survived my pregnancy first sickness till 6 months and not the morning one 24 hour one, afterwards it was such a horrid acid reflux that I did not eat anything except bread and potato , last weeks I could not move, think or do anything! I know a lot of people who had a experience but I am not one of them. However the moment you hold your LO in your hands you start thinking of the next one ...

ithoughtofitfirst Tue 08-Apr-14 16:35:40

I feel a bit better/less guilty after reading this thread.

Psychologically not coping with being pregnant and (once again!) keeping it to myself. And this pregnancy is mild compared to my last. I just hate it. But i'm so grateful that i am blessed with another pregnancy bevause i want my boy to have siblings and closeness like i did growing up.

Dreading labour, dreading the sleep deprivation, dreading starting all over again. Miserable sad

I should probably talk to my midwife. Here we go again!

Kels13 Tue 08-Apr-14 16:13:51

I'm so with you all. 13th week of constant sickness and getting worse... Really hoping I experience some 'glowing' soon! It's a total myth isn't it. I can't face going into work, the only thing that seems to help my sickness is 24hr sleeping...

livingzuid Tue 08-Apr-14 15:31:43

There is a big difference between being estatic about your incoming child and being estatic about being pregnant. Imo the two are not the same. Pregnancy is the physical and mental aspect torture of growing said child. Having a child and looking forward to meeting him or her is something separate. I'm thrilled to be having a little one but loathe the process.

Behonest25 Tue 08-Apr-14 15:09:47

I was incredibly grateful to be pregnant with my dc. I conceived after just a few months. I have friends who are struggling to conceive so was careful not to complain around them.

However I struggled with terrible all day morning sickness and was admitted to hospital in all pregnancies. I suffered with heartburn especially at night and EVERYTHING tasted odd.

With my last I was so thankful that I would not have to experience pregnancy/birth again. That pregnancy dragged and I just yearned to eat chicken/Indian curries again lol!

9 months is such a long time and I have symptoms from as early as 6 weeks.

Ladylel Tue 08-Apr-14 14:57:13

Totally feeling your pain januaryjump. Whoever said it was magically clearly left out the bit about the first trimester being horrendous. Only 6wks myself with my first but currently feeling rundown, nauseas, fatigue headaches etc really hoping the 2nd trimester means il go back to feeling myself again!

Ploppy16 Tue 08-Apr-14 09:52:19

Nothing wrong with that at all! I had big gaps between mine so had forgotten most of the bad bits but the last time (surprise third after a 5 year gap) I almost wept with gratitude when DH said he wanted to go for the snip.. grin
The heartburn was the worst, had it from around 16 weeks on, constantly for 24 hrs a day so no sleep and could barely eat without having to dose myself up on mucogel. It was a standing joke that when I had bloods taken they would probably come out white!
Giving birth hurt but a I never been more grateful for the pain that meant the light at the end of the tunnel..

bloominbumpy Tue 08-Apr-14 09:47:02

I always feel bad that im not completely enjoying pregnancy particularly as I work with a lady who had a mmc and was unable to get pregnant again sad

when I'm at work and feeling like utter crap with whatever random ailement my body has decided to go through and not looking my chirpiest she always says "smile girl you should be happy!"

I hate this!
I am happy ecstatic even that I am able to carry my child but the actual physical and emotional havoc it sometimes causes is something I could live without!

Currently 24 weeks and apart from quite horrific sickness till about 14 weeks I would say I haven't had to suffer as much as many do apart from the norm piles, heartburn, back ache, tummy pains, aching feet, constant hunger or nausea, headaches and almost constant pains and aches in my hips and bum... like I said nothing out of the ordinary!

BumpAndGrind Tue 08-Apr-14 00:02:54

I hated being pregnant so much when DD came 9 weeks early I'm really ashamed to say I was so elated not to be pregnant anymore that I didn't feel guilty for not being able to keep her inside and safe and then felt all consuming guilt for not feeling guilty, bloody hormones

Iwillorderthefood Mon 07-Apr-14 23:01:20

I hate being pregnant too. Currently 31 weeks, it's stress incontinence, plus the fact that I will need to give birth shortly that I dislike the most. To add to my concerns read a thread about transverse lie and I know there is a way to go, but the baby is in a transverse lie. Plus DD2 did not sleep for 2.5 years and I am dreading more of the same, but with me being 5 years older. Once she is here, and I am doing it, at least the waiting will be over and I'll know what I am in for. DH works long hours, and will be of no use whatsoever. This pg was a total surprise by the way.

januaryJump Mon 07-Apr-14 22:42:51

I'm glad others are able to find comfort in our pg recovery room grin

Been considering the positives and comparing this pg with my first, and at least this time I don't have to worry and anticipate constantly what the next step is. Waiting for my booking in and scan last time was excruciating! And I panicked over tiny things. I feel much calmer this time, I know how it works and my mind isnt 100% absorbed with baby things. It's still there but at least a little bit less!

ZingSweetCoconut Mon 07-Apr-14 22:41:14

I think a relatively good pg can still be full of problems.
if you have help and people who will listen to your moaning (like I do!grin ) things will seem more manageable.

I think my pregnancies were fine, despite - morning sickness & vomiting (neither have stopped yet and I'm 26 weeks pg with my 7th), nose bleeds, painful leg cramps, severe migraines, itchy skin, piles, sore breasts, painful BHs, PSD/PGP, thrush, backache, exhaustion, panic attacks and anxiety which cause hyperventilation, insomnia, incontinence, sensitive teeth and bleeding gums, heartburn, indegistion, mild hallucinations, disturbed speech.
And with DS4, who was footling breech I had months of him kicking me right on top of the cervix (where his feet were stuck) which were extremely painful. like being stabbed in the fanjo, from inside.

So I sympathise with anyone who feels they are not enjoying their pg - but I do think we have different tolerance, circumstances and attitudes, so some people with lesser problems might have a harder time coping then some who have a huge problem but feel lucky to be alive.
All of that is understandable.

big hugs to all who feel crap.
just be grateful for the easier days!smile

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