Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

really worried :(

(26 Posts)
lozzie12345 Fri 04-Apr-14 23:45:07

Hi,

I'm new here and have been driving myself mad searching online trying to find answers so thought this might be better!

I am 19+4 according to my scans, 18+4 according to lmp. I had a scan at what I thought was 6 weeks, but measured 7 weeks. My next scan at 13 weeks matched up to my first scan to the day and was done by a different hospital, machine etc. So I have been told at my first scan they are accurate to within 3 days, but I have read conflicting info online. So I just wanted advice really.

Is it possible to measure a week big at my scans? The reason I'm getting so worried is that me and my bf split briefly before xmas and there is an issue of paternity. I usually have 33 day cycles and ovulate around cd 19 but my scans are showing me to have conceived around day 8 which I find so hard to believe as this was right after my period. I also got a 3+ on a clearblue digi which I took when I was 5 weeks (if scans correct) and 4 weeks if lmp is correct but iv heard these aren't always acurate either.

I had symptoms a week after I was with the 2nd man, would that be too Spon to get them? Iv never been pregnant before so have no idea, mme and my bf were trying for 2 years with no success sad then this happens

I have my 20 week scan next week, will my date be likely to change at all again? Any advice would really help me, I'm stressing so bad.

Thank you so much!

stinkypants Sat 05-Apr-14 07:55:02

Hello
Not an expert in any way but I would tend to think the scans are very accurate. I don't think they just look at size but other developmental steps as well. I think it is possible that you ovulated early. Also given your history of 2 years not conceiving, it seems to fit as well - has your boyfriend had fertility tests?
Hope things work out for you.

PenguinsEatSpinach Sat 05-Apr-14 08:09:52

My due date was moved forward by 8 days at the 12 week scan. For various reasons i dont agree with that. Every NHS area I know bases the date on the 12 week scan and won't change it at the 20 week one as dating gets less accurate as the pregnancy progresses.

The scans are accurate, but there is still about a five day margin of error. If you are worried about paternity I think you need to think about genetic testing.

DubBgoodToMe Sat 05-Apr-14 08:16:42

Not an expert but from what I know, there isn't too much variation on size so early in development which is why they use the measurements as they do.

A family member got pregnant after her period so it is possible but it isn't meant to be. That's why she wasn't worried.

Hope you get the answer you want.

Waggamamma Sat 05-Apr-14 08:27:36

I was pretty certain when I ovulated. The 12wk scan dated me at 13wks which by my dates would not have been possible (period and no sex in that week). But they still dated me 13wks. I'm not bothered by it, I don't see that it makes a huge difference to the rest of the pregnancy.

slightlyinsane Sat 05-Apr-14 08:50:06

I had my 12 wk scan and had my dates changed to 13 wks. There is no way I ovulated earlier etc as dh was away so I know the few days it could of happened. Thisis dd 4&5 my others all measured ahead of where they should be but I never had my dates changed before. Some babies just measure further along. The only way of knowing for sure who's the father is a DNA test further down the line.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 05-Apr-14 09:00:42

With that level of doubt, I think you're going to have to do a DNA test when the baby is born. Does your bf know there's a possibility the baby's not his?

Hazchem Sat 05-Apr-14 09:12:17

Ultra sound dates are + or - 5 days accurate. so for example if they said you were 10 weeks you could be 9+2 days pregnant all the way through to 10+5 days pregnant. Does that make sense. would that fit closer to your dates?

Tomkat79 Sat 05-Apr-14 09:13:59

They dated me 1 week ahead at 12 week scan. Wasn't surprised as we didn't have sex in what I thought was fertile window so was shocked when got BFP, I must've ovulated on about day 7/8 but my cycle was messed up post MC.

Can see why you're worrying. Hope things go ok x

Armadale Sat 05-Apr-14 09:17:25

On the practical side of things, they will not change your due date after a 20 week scan...the 12/13 week one is now used throughout the pregnancy.

Up to about 14 weeks babies grow pretty uniformly but after 14 weeks the maternal environment and the babies own genetics mean that they start to grow at different rates, so dating them after this point is considered inaccurate. This is why they want to do the dating scan before 14 weeks.

IME, I would suggest that your scan dates are likely to be a lot more accurate than your LMP dates in this case because:

a) the seven week and 12 week scan were consistent with each other and

b) there is a huge change in the appearance of the scan between 6 and 7 weeks- at 6 weeks there is basically just a round or kidney shaped thing with a pulsing heart beat in the middle, at 7 weeks it has started to elongate and limb buds are present.

Just looking at all my different 6 and 7 week pictures now, they look completely different. So for the 6 week scan to date you at 7 weeks, would not just be about the size of the baby, but also the appearance having changed into what things look like at 7 weeks, if that makes sense.

I would place less emphasis on the pregnancy test showing 3+ and your symptoms (although they do suggest the dating scans are right) because in my experience these things can and do vary between women.

The issue of the day 8 conception is also not unlikely, I think. I ovulate on day 14 almost every cycle. I am currently in my 6th pregnancy, and in one of my PG's I got pregnant on day 7 and in another on day 21, so I can't count on not getting pregnant early or late in a cycle, if that makes sense.

I know this is not the answer you were hoping for, but I think it is impossible to be certain that the baby is your bf, and is more likely to be the other man's by dates. Sorry.

{As someone else suggested upthread, possibly this is just one of those things, but also possibly if you were very fertile and your bf not, then falling pregnant more easily with another man might be suggestive of a problem with your bf fertility, or might just be a complete fluke}

I am 22 weeks pregnant and know the hormones and emotions are a lot to deal with about now, without your additional worries. It must be very hard for you. Do you have anyone in real life you could confide in?

lozzie12345 Sat 05-Apr-14 15:53:53

If my scans are right then it is my boyfriends, if not it is the other mans. If it is a 5 day margin it would still be my boyfriends as well. Also my blood test was closer to it being my boyfriends than the other mans. I know I am not going to know until baby is here, and now I am about halfway im finding it really hard.

Also my midwife said the reason I got an early positive (a week before period due) would have been due to ovulating early which again suggests its my boyfriends. Really its 50/50 though and its very difficult n smileot knowing!

And no I dont have anyone I can talk to, me and my mum dont have contact and theres few people I feel I can tell about it, its not something im proud of and its a situation I never in a million years thought I would be in.

Thanks everyone for your responses smile

Armadale Sat 05-Apr-14 16:04:13

Oh I had misunderstood from your message about when you were with who, I think the scans are definitely right and therefore I think it is your boyfriends smile

I do wish there was someone in real life for you, {although you will always have friends on here} because it is so difficult for you.

I wonder if your MW could help you get referred to a counsellor who you could talk to, and who wouldn't judge you? I am having some counselling at the moment because of previous miscarriages and it is such a help to know that once a week there is somewhere I can go and just let out all the things running through my head.

Try not to beat yourself up about finding yourself in this situation, no-one gets it right all the time, life happens.

Do your dates mean you are having an August baby or have you just sneaked into a September one? I am due 7th August smile

lozzie12345 Sat 05-Apr-14 16:21:02

Deep down I think it is too, but I cant stop thinking about what ifs! At my first scan the sonographer said I probably wont stop kicking myself and getting worried throughout the pregnancy and she was right.

Im going to have a chat with my MW at my next appointment because all this stress and worrying is really not good for baby.

Im due the end of August, 25th smile You're a few weeks before me.

Thank you so much for making me feel a bit better smile

Armadale Sat 05-Apr-14 18:29:16

smile

Shroomboom Sat 05-Apr-14 20:50:15

My dd measured ahead of dates all the way through. However, she is an IVF baby so we know literally to the minute when she was conceived. She was just a bit bigger that's all smile

lozzie12345 Sat 05-Apr-14 20:58:44

Was it as much as a week? And was it from as early as 7 weeks? Iv heard that they shouldn't be far out the earlier they are. Iv got a scan next week and should see midwife week after so I guess I can ask her advice then smile

DubBgoodToMe Sat 05-Apr-14 21:25:41

Will you keep us updated? We are here if you need to talk it out grin

Shroomboom Sun 06-Apr-14 08:32:41

Iirc she was around 5 days ahead at about 7 weeks, but will find scan pic and check.

22honey Sun 06-Apr-14 14:59:43

Christ! I really feel for you, it must be very nervewracking contemplating the child might not be your OH's. You have my sympathy.

The only way I think you'll know for sure is a DNA test when the baby is born, which would be the right thing to do anyway so the baby know's who their father is.

Does OH know about the other man?

lozzie12345 Sun 06-Apr-14 19:53:55

Thanks everyone smile yes I'll keep you updated, got 20 week scan Friday so guess I will find out then if date changes or anything.

No my bf doesn't know, I shouldve told him from the start. At my private 7 week scan the sono said she was pretty positive it is his, so I thought it was. But as the pregnancy has gone on iv been feeling so down, guilty and low about it I still don't know whether it's best to tell him now or wait till I know. Either way it will crush him and I feel awful about it!

22honey Sun 06-Apr-14 19:56:22

Try not to feel low about it, no one is perfect and we all make mistakes or end up in situations where we are thinking 'WTH?!'

It does sound like the baby is his given what you said, you should just concentrate on looking after yourself and the baby for now and worry about possible paternity if you feel needs be later on.

Best of luck xxx

EverySoddingNameIsTaken Sun 06-Apr-14 20:00:57

Early scans can be out by five days, either 5 days earlier or later. This is what a sonography told me last week. She said it is very hard to tell at early stage exactly because they are so curled up. After your twelve weeks scan though, they will not change your dates at your 20 week scan. Unfortunately there is no way of really knowing, just guessing, so your only answer will be a paternity test later on, good luck flowers

EverySoddingNameIsTaken Sun 06-Apr-14 20:01:16

Sonographer *

DubBgoodToMe Sun 06-Apr-14 20:44:24

I wouldn't worry about your dates from the 20 week scan. my first scan was at 15 weeks (DD was an oooops and no lmp so booked late) but the 20 week scan was not in line with this, from what I remember.

My mum was in this situation. I'm sure it will work out. It really does sound like you don't have to worry grin

DubBgoodToMe Sun 06-Apr-14 20:45:38

Ps my mum is also the last person you'd expect this to happen to. These things do just happen. It's not a mark on your upbringing or personality. It just happened. grin

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now