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Any overweight or obese mums to be?

(41 Posts)
FoodieMum3 Wed 26-Mar-14 17:50:22

I'm almost 16 weeks pregnant and very overweight this time, about 3+ stone I'm sure.

The pregnany wasn't exactly planned because I had wanted to lose weight first but at the same time I was delighted to find out I was pregnant because I thought it would take ages to conceive.

I was slim on baby no.1, about a stone overweight on no.2 and now I am in this situation.

I just feel that I can't enjoy the pregnany because the guilt is eating me up. I had my booking appointment at 12 weeks (which was actually at 14 w) and while the midwife was nice, she warned me about developing gestational diabetes, high BP, difficult delivery etc. Obviously she had to tell me and I'm glad she did because it really was the kick I needed, I haven't had as much as a chocolate bar since. The scan picture was also much less clearer than on my other pregnancies and of course that has upset me too.
My Bp and urine were fine but she said if I didn't watch the weight that there's no way I'd be as lucky as the pregnany continues?

So I am eating healthier and smaller portions as well as walking every day. I hope it's not too late to do my best not to develop weight related problems?
I had a nice little bump on my other 2 babies at this stage but I don't even have that now because I've so much weight on my tummy anyway.
��

Is anyone else feeling the same or have any advice for me?

Thank you.

Jemma2907 Wed 26-Mar-14 18:01:08

I feel your pain. I'm a size 20 and currently 17 weeks. I can't see a bump at all :-(
I was losing weight last year in the summer and was 2 stone less that I am now but then suffered a miscarriage in Sept. We'd been trying for 2 years and that was the first time if been pregnant on that time so it totally knocked me for six. I went totally back to comfort eating and no gym at all and then at Xmas found out I was pregnant again... But now 2 stone heavier!
I'm gutted that I'm so heavy but my Midwife has actually been quite positive about the pregnancy an doesn't seem to think my weight will be a problem. My BMI is 34.5 and the only extra thing I've been asked to do is the test for GD at 28 weeks. I figure as long as I stay active and keep a healthy diet then that's the best I can do for my baby. I haven't been back on the scales since the 12 week scan though so maybe I'm fooling myself!

FoodieMum3 Wed 26-Mar-14 18:06:25

Jemma, thank you for your reply.

I am so sorry about your MC and actually thinking about that, makes me realise how lucky we both are to safely be in the second trimester of our pregnancies.

My midwife was lovely too, she was just matter of fact. I also have to have the GTT at 28 weeks.

I just want the best for my baby as I'm sure we all do.

Jemma2907 Wed 26-Mar-14 18:24:29

Exactly, we are lucky :-) There are a lot of people who I'm sure have a lot more to worry about in pregnancy than their weight. I know we have to be told about all the issues it could cause, but once we're pregnant, there's not really much we can change in a big way. Just try and stay positive and know that at least you acknowledge it so know that it's something that can be dealt with in a healthy way during pregnancy and then a more rigorous way post pregnancy.... Personally, I'm planning many long pram walks come September and hopefully I may even get a bit of time back in the gym after a month or so :-).

weebigmamma Wed 26-Mar-14 18:27:18

Hi there :-)

I was overweight for baby #1 and now I'm 37 weeks with baby #2 and I started this one heavier than the last one. Not my plan either, but there you go! I'd say, relax a bit. I have gestational diabetes and you should see the clinic- it is FULL of people of all different sizes- ranging from bigger than me (I started this pregnancy at size 20) to really very skinny. Diabetes in general isn't always to do with size and especially in pregnancy it's just one of those things where your body doesn't make enough insulin for both you and the baby. For what it's worth my blood sugars have been excellent the whole time and I haven't struggled with it or had to go on insulin in fact, whereas I met a woman last week who looks super fit and she's been on insulin for weeks now and is hardly allowed to eat anything at all because her blood is so out of control.

Bump-wise, I didn't have one when I was first pregnant really- I just looked fatter. This time around I am heavier than I was before and I have a really round bump. I can't explain that- I think it's just one of those pregnancy things. Again, look around you at the clinic when you go- even thin people don't all look the same in terms of their bump.

Physical fitness is more important than weight, and although the two sometimes go together they don't always. Do some regular exercise (swimming is excellent) and eat as well as you can (it's hard at the start, and at the end! Don't beat yourself up about it- it's not because you're fat- it's because you're pregnant). Follow doctors' advice but don't let anyone make you feel crap for being overweight, for all they know your diet might be miles better than a thin person's who overdoses on salt and ready meals etc, or who hardly eats at all but drinks 2 litres of diet coke every day.

My friend who is also overweight and has had several miscarriages asked her doctor if it was her fault for being fat. Her doctor said absolutely not- being overweight can cause problems in getting pregnant but it won't make you miscarry. Take heart- there are always people who are bigger than you who have had healthy babies (grab a copy of Slimming World magazine- it's full of people who decided to sort out their diets after they had kids, having been overweight since before the pregnancy).

Do let yourself have a treat now and again. A healthy diet allows for that. If you're really worried about it I'd recommend joining Slimming World and the Royal College of Midwives have approved their plan as safe for pregnancy (I think it's the only diet plan that is approved in this way). You'll be allowed to eat loads, including the odd treat, and it is a healthy plan. I did it for a couple of months only because my first 4 months were crazy with morning sickness and I couldn't eat vegetables and then once i got to 6 months I started craving things I couldn't have on SW. But I did what I could. The last month or so it has been easier to eat properly.

Good luck to you!! All will be well, it really will! My daughter was perfect when she was born and she's now 10 and slim like her dad. Hoping the next one will be OK too- just 2 weeks to go and it's all looking fine at the minute! xxxx

EllaBella220 Wed 26-Mar-14 18:29:08

Hi Foodie, this is the exact reason I registered here today. I had been googling weight gain in pregnancy and found myself here so signed up because there's loads of interesting topics to read and reply to.

I am the same boat. I feel awful that I am so overweight this time and knew my partner was right when he said we should lose weight first before trying to conceive but I said no because I feared that I'd lose the weight then be too scared to put it back on again and not want to get pregnant (sounds silly now) so went ahead and now I am feeling fat, sluggish and guilty at maybe putting the baby at risk.

I am now a high risk pregnancy because of my weight (size 18-20....we'll leave out the stones and pounds lol) and I am so embarrassed. My partner has pointed out that I am not smoking or drinking and am trying not to overeat so I am doing what I can now to make sure I am not doing any further damage. I am so unfit though that I am freaking out about not being able to move around comfortably in the next few months without getting out of breath.

NoIamAngelaHernandez Wed 26-Mar-14 18:29:10

I am also a size 20. I have lost 10 lbs since the 8 week booking in and 21 weeks as I joined Slimming World.
I too feel bad about being so overweight and pregnant, but here I am! Pregnancy was a surprise this time - for my last pregnancy, I got down to 12 st ( size 14).
It is perfectly possible to have a healthy pregnancy and be overweight.

weebigmamma Wed 26-Mar-14 18:40:21

I'm not sure what I think about overweight people being labelled as necessarily 'high risk'. It seems to be the policy in some hospitals and also sometimes for age (I am 38). You have to factor into that that there is a huge range of weights over the cut-off BMI that they use for determining 'high risk' and that some of those people will also be smoking and drinking or doing other high-risk things. Just musing on it but I think that sometimes we can be made to feel very guilty for something which is visible to everyone- our size- when there are loads of people carrying on in unhealthy ways who won't face the same condemnation because nobody can see them doing it. No parents are perfect- none! But it is possible to be good enough and that's the same no matter what your weight is.

FoodieMum3 Wed 26-Mar-14 18:42:56

Again, thank you all for all the supportive and reassuring replies. I feel so much better knowing that i'm not alone. I was sitting in the waiting room for my booking appt and I was literally the only overweight mum there, I was thinking to myself that I thought there was supposed to be an obesity epidemic lol.

Jemma, I am also due in September. It will be a lovely time of year to have a baby :-)

Weebigmamma you're almost at the finish line. Wishing you all the very best. You are so right about the occasional treat too.

EllaBella how many weeks are you? Is this your first? I think you sound exactly like me, anxious and ashamed. I was reading something earlier about my pregnancy today and it said that my bump should be noticeable to others now and I'll need maternity clothes... Nope I just looked pregnant all along anyway, LOL :-(
Funny thing is is that I'm not very unfit, I go for 30+ min walks or so fairly often and don't find them a struggle. (Which probably sounds like nothing to a slim person) You should start off doing 5 mins, then 10 etc etc and build it up that way. You'd be surprised at how quickly you can improve fitness.

Thanks for the encouragement noiamAngela. I think I came out of my first appt feeling like baby and I were doomed to all these complications.

FirsttimerG Wed 26-Mar-14 18:54:24

I have a bmi of 31. My midwife didn't believe me when I told her my weight (am a size 14/16) and even though I am concerned and will obvs need the GD test, she wasn't at all worried.
She just advised I eat healthily and try not to wory too much. She was fantastic. I have a friend who is very slim and has just found out she can't have children.
I just feel blessed.

EllaBella220 Wed 26-Mar-14 19:39:26

WeeBig, I am in total agreement re the people drinking/taking drugs etc that are able to hide it from the doctors yet being overweight is obvious therefore we're the ones who get the dis approving comments. I have already warned my OH to prepare himself for me showing him up at the scan if a doctor takes the piss when referring to my weight because I will be letting him know that as heavy as I may be I am not a drug addict having a drug addicted baby or a drinker who is risking her unborn babys life. Yes I am overweight and definitely ashamed by it but I won't be made to feel like I'm the worst type of pregnant mother for it.

Foodie, I am 14 weeks and haven't put on any weight yet. I am starting to feel really bloated and can see and feel weight going on around my waist but the scales are still the same. With my 1st I needed new trousers at 10 weeks because I was so uncomfortable in my old ones. I was a size 10 back then so any weight gain was probably a lot more noticeable but this time I won't see any bump for a long while because of my jelly belly.

FoodieMum3 Wed 26-Mar-14 20:13:58

Best of luck with your scan EllaBella smile

mrsleomcgary Wed 26-Mar-14 22:53:18

My bmi at booking appointment was 36 or 37, size 18/20. I also had the added complication of being a type one diabetic (type one has nothing to do with weight) and just want to reassure you ladies that despite everything I had a text book healthy pregnancy. DD is 11 weeks old and absolutely perfect. We all know what we need to do in pregnancy, eat healthily and try to keep as active as possible but that stuff any pregnant woman should do. There may be some extra appointments or tests involved but don't think you're doomed to a problem pregnancy because of your weight because I'm proof that that isn't necessarily the case

Jolleigh Wed 26-Mar-14 23:49:11

There's a massive range of overall fitness levels for overweight and obese people. My BMI at my booking appointment was 37 and I'm normally a size 18, unless an outfit is fitted to the chest, in which case I just try on bigger and bigger sizes until my boobs fit in.

I'm now 40 weeks pregnant (due today) and still have perfect blood pressure, great range of motion, good energy levels most days and baby is showing right on the 50th centile size-wise.

My pregnancy was overseen by a consultant, I got extra growth scans and had a GD test, but these are precautions.

My total weight gain so far is 1st 4lbs, 6lbs of which went on in the last month or so when my cravings suddenly switched to dairy (I'm assuming this has something to do with calcium being needed to harden baby's bones). I barely showed at all until after I was 6 months pregnant, but most certainly looked pregnant from then on!

The only advice I'd be certain to give to any lady who starts a pregnancy considerably overweight or obese is not to eat excessively while making the excuse that it's because you're pregnant if your cake craving is genuinely because of baby though and you don't have GD, once in a while won't hurt grin

Sammi1986 Thu 27-Mar-14 00:07:41

I think I'm the biggest to comment so far, bmi of 42 on booking in app and was utterly terrified of being shouted at by everyone the whole way though!
I continued to eat healthily whilst allowing myself the treats I wanted and it's been surprisingly great!
I was put on low dose aspirin and was consultant led. My growth scams are fine, blood pressure perfect, iron levels high, gtt came back clear and I have actually had to go down 2 sizes in maternity jeans despite weight gain. Had to see the aneathatist (sp?!) Today to see if there would be any issues, but nope he's happy despite my weight and arthritis.
I went into the pregnancy with the attitude of doing as I'm told to keep bean and I healthy. 36w today!!

Congratulations and good luck!!

supermum83 Thu 27-Mar-14 08:48:24

Another big mama here. With first baby my BMI was a borderline 29 after mega weightloss but this time I am at 36. Husband and I figured we'd have the second baby and then I'd address my weight problems for once and for all. I did have some nerves-induced BP last time and consequently am under the microscope this time. Many many appointments. But everyone has been lovely so far.....that being said I've not met with any consultants yet!

Jolleigh Thu 27-Mar-14 10:36:37

If you actually meet your consultant face to face I'd be surprised Supermum - I never once saw mine, he just looked over my notes occasionally to check he saw no red flags.

frankiebuns Thu 27-Mar-14 10:49:44

I'm in the same boat, with my first I was a size 16 slightly podgy but happy I had pnd with last one so comfort ate ballooned to a size 20/ 22 but was happy and got pregnant with #2 my midwife was a size 30 so made me chuffed I dnt have a skinny bean poll and she was very blunt yes I have high bp this time but its due to my kidneys failing and not liking it not that I'm fat I've put on 2lbs in 18 weeks which I was very proud of as last time I literally ate for 2! But got a stern telling off from consultant that I've put on too much already! I'm hardly eating as I still feel sick! I've got the dreaded bmi clinic in a few weeks, but I'm in a catch 22 as I can't do much with my high bp walking 200 yards sends it up to 174/110 so exercise is pretty much out!

FoodieMum3 Thu 27-Mar-14 10:52:39

In my hospital a consultant does the scan and reads your notes after you've seen the midwife. She had highlighted that my last birth was an emergency Caesarian and he only spoke to me about that. He didn't mention my weight at all. He was very supportive and encouraging of a VBAC, whereas th midwife wasn't as positive due to my bmi sad
While doing the scan I knew (because I've had two babies before) that the image wasn't very clear but he didn't comment on that either, he was very positive and upbeat about baby.

Thanks for sharing everyone. I woke up this morning feeling much more positive and feeling better about everything.

Sareva Thu 27-Mar-14 13:37:42

I also have a high BMI (notes not in front of me so I can't remember exactly what), and 14/16 top and 16/18 bottom. This is my third pregnancy, I'm lucky I don't experience morning sickness, but my taste buds have changed and I crave fruits and salads. All in all at 28 weeks I weigh less than my booking in appointment, my midwife wasn't concerned, obviously I had some to lose! Blood pressure is fine energy levels great, baby is growing nicely. What I am worried about is putting on weight after, that whole "breast feeding made me lose all the weight" does not work for me.

supermum83 Thu 27-Mar-14 13:40:19

I am meeting some kind of consultant at some point to discuss birth options due to the first one being a bit of a mess. I hope that is all I am going for to discuss! So far they have been very supportive of trying a normal vaginal birth. At booking in I was told I am not heavy enough for any real alarm bells....but asked I try and avoid any drastic weight gain during pregnancy.

It is what it is...

Meanwhile am not looking to show any time soon. What about the rest of you ladies?

EllaBella220 Thu 27-Mar-14 14:51:31

I am really dreading how much weight I put on in the next few months. Before pregnancy I had to be REALLY good diet wise otherwise I would put weight on so quickly. If I was dieting I had to be super strict and not have any sorts of treats (I did slimming world and could never use my full 15 daily syns otherwise I'd not lose that week) in order to lose even 1lb. It was a constant battle and now I'm pregnant I'm scared of putting on so much that I'll find it so much harder to lose anything after. I am planning on breast feeding but not having done it before I am worried it might not go well or I'll be like Sareva ^^ and it won't help the weight loss.

I am not really back to full appetite yet so I have no idea how these next few months are going to pan out. I'm hoping for weird cravings for fruit and veg but doubt I#ll be that lucky lol.

FoodieMum3 Thu 27-Mar-14 16:02:58

EllaBella you can ask to see a nutritionist and they'll give you a food plan do that you get everything you and baby need but that you don't gain excessive weight. Try not to worry.

I'm planning on breastfeeding too and we all know how good that is for baby, as well as using up additional calories for us smile

Supermum was your last birth a section?

I'm stocking up on fruit to snack on but now I'm wondering is that not the best, sugar wise?

Sareva, glad to see your pregnancy is going smoothly.

supermum83 Thu 27-Mar-14 17:32:04

Yes I had a section. Overhang is way worse now. Depressing.

Breastfeeding did nothing for me either, probably just made me less mobile and more hungry!!

GoooRooo Fri 28-Mar-14 22:41:18

I had a BMI of over 40. No gestational diabetes, no huge baby "you're bound to have a whooper as your so large" (6lbs 8oz), no difficult delivery unless you count a three day labour ;). Baby delivered naturally eventually.

I got many a lecture from consultants and midwives and all it did was make me feel bad and stressed out.

Except for one lovely midwives who was large herself and rolled her eyes when I said I'd been getting a hard time from health professionals and said "it's all bollocks. They just like to have something to blame when they don't really know why things go wrong."

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