Would you like to be on Mumsnet's research panel? We're especially keen for parents-to-be and new parents to join. You can sign up here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive on offer for your views.

You're tired now? Wait until the baby is here...

(32 Posts)
Diamondsareagirls Sun 16-Mar-14 09:56:47

WIBU to kill the next person that says this to me? A friend who has a 2 yo dd has been over to see me. I am 36 weeks pregnant with twins and struggling to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time without waking up due to intense hip/back pain.

I'm really not so naive to think that I am going to get more sleep once the twins are here but does that mean when I am asked how I am feeling I have to just smile and lie 'Oh I'm great thanks. Full of energy!"

Ok, rant over grin

iamusuallybeingunreasonable Sun 16-Mar-14 10:00:27

Annoying isn't it?! I'm 38 weeks and sick of it, I do have a four year old, and yes sleep will be in short supply but to not be in constant pain, dragging my body around and have a modicum of flexibility is definitely better than this!! Won't be long hopefully grin

RandomMess Sun 16-Mar-14 10:02:05

I can honestly say despite the night feeds I felt better post birth than in the last few months of pregnancy. Quite possibly because as soon as I was horizontal I was fast asleep! My best advice is try and master breast feeding laying down grin

JuanFernandezTitTyrant Sun 16-Mar-14 10:03:09

OP I didn't have twins but when DS arrived the quality of sleep I got was better because I wasn't uncomfortable in bed any more and the hormones help you to fall straight back to sleep.

I wanted to murder all those people too.

Oodfanjo Sun 16-Mar-14 10:04:11

Another one whose sleep was better post birth.

Poke her in the eye grin

iamusuallybeingunreasonable Sun 16-Mar-14 10:04:30

Oh yes and breastfeeding whilst lying down is a godsend, after a few weeks of sitting up doing it I soon realised there was an easier way!!

RandomMess Sun 16-Mar-14 10:08:53

I had the bed pushed against the wall so if I accidently fell asleep feeding they couldn't fall off the bed, you do need to be careful they don't get between the wall and the edge of the bed too. I used to lay on top of the bed covers and had a pillow at each end of the bed.

I have 4 singletons, I only felt dreadful after one birth - I kept telling the midwives I didn't feel well but they never listened. In hindsight I clearly wasn't physically well - that was my 2nd birth and even though the next 2 were big babies as well I felt fine. Even when I had mastitis I didn't feel as rough as I did after dc2.

So if you feel feel worse after the birth please be honest and tell the professional because IME it isn't normal. Yes pain in your boobs and undercarriage but not an all over feeling dreadful IYSWIM.

WowserBowser Sun 16-Mar-14 10:09:40

I much prefered post birth when i was woken by a lovely baby, rather than lying awake with heartburn, restless legs etc pre birth.

However, it is just something people say.

Koothrapanties Sun 16-Mar-14 10:10:53

I would have agreed with you until breastfeeding crashed and burned for me. Once I stopped bfing I struggled to get back to sleep after feeds and felt like a dead person.

At five months post partum I am still knackered. And bitter that bfing didn't work out for me but that's another thread.

commsgirl Sun 16-Mar-14 10:12:14

Oh my goodness yes! I think people think they're trying to be encouraging...

ClownsLeftJokersRight Sun 16-Mar-14 10:17:35

Oh lord the people who love to tell you how awful it's all going to be...hmm There really should be a law against them.

I can well remember coming home from a family event and having a quiet cry after an afternoon of gleeful 'just you wait...' comments from dh's lovely familyhmm. I can't understand why anyone wants to say such unhelpful things other than to cause niggling worry to the poor person who has to put up with it.

You'll be ok Diamond because they'll be your babies and you'll do it your way.

I had dt's (and another too). They're all older now and it worked out fine. Chaotic, but fine.

And one of the perks about having been through all that is that no-one can trump me now with those stupid 'just you wait..' commentswink. And many sympathies with the back/hip pain. I had that and it was terribly exhausting; I could only shuffle about. But it went once I gave birth. In fact I bounced back pretty well after dts.

Cookiepants Sun 16-Mar-14 10:20:15

After the birth of my DS I felt better than any time during the pregnancy, I felt like my own person again grin

Cheerymum Sun 16-Mar-14 10:20:24

I have six month old twins and the pregnancy was far harder than looking after the babies. Good luck, they don't call it "delivery" for nothing smile

PenguinsEatSpinach Sun 16-Mar-14 10:27:30

Can't comment on twins, but I had way more sleep and way more energy with small baby (and with baby plus toddler) than I did when heavily pregnant. Waaaay more.

MyNameIsWinkly Sun 16-Mar-14 10:34:08

These people should be punched. Yes I may be more tired after the baby comes but at the minute I go to bed, lie awake with heartburn for an hour, sleep for 45 minutes and have upsetting dreams, wake up on my back, spend another half hour or more on my side trying to make my back and hip comfortable, then another 45 minutes upsetting dreams, repeat until the sun comes up. I'm shattered and sore. In what world is telling me I will be even more shattered helpful??

weebigmamma Sun 16-Mar-14 10:48:20

Agreed!!!! Last night I got a total of 3 hours sleep. Restless leg syndrome is bloody torturous and if I sleep longer than 2 hours (which hardly ever happens) then I wake up in excruciating pain from needing the loo so badly. It's HORRIBLE. The heartburn is horrible, not being able to get comfortable is horrible, winding yourself on a regular basis when you bend over is horrible, getting punched in the ribs from the inside is horrible....

I am now up and contemplating whether or not I can actually be bothered washing my hair today as I haven't done it all week out of sheer exhaustion and I'm thinking maybe I should just cut it all off instead?!

When baby comes it will be tiring but my husband will at least be able to give me a bit of a break!

Diamondsareagirls Sun 16-Mar-14 11:02:08

Haha! So pleased to hear so many others feel the same and that there is some light at the end of the tunnel! I need to write some of these phrases down so I don't end up saying the same to pregnant friends once I have my babies. It is so easy to let the pregnant rage take over when faced with well meaning friends wanting to share their 'wisdom' smile

GingerMaman Sun 16-Mar-14 12:01:03

For me that statement was very very very true. The tiredness post birth was at least 5 times more, and on top of that I was in so much pain due to stitches and breast feeding

TheGrassIsSinging Sun 16-Mar-14 12:02:47

Quite bizarre that your friend is saying to you when you already have children! You obviously KNOW about tiredness.

I think when you've already got kids and are heavily pregnant you pretty much win any competitive tiredness battle by default. Go and have a lie down if you can grin

cathpip Sun 16-Mar-14 12:40:59

I'm another one who believes that the quantity of sleep is not much better but the quality of sleep is marvelous (even after a section), it's amazing what you can do on 4/5 hours of good quality sleep!!

Yama Sun 16-Mar-14 12:43:23

At the end of pregnancy, the thought of curling up into a ball and being comfortable is so enticing.

Yes, life with a newborn was always so much better for me. Who are these people with their crazy ideas?

weebairn Sun 16-Mar-14 14:18:53

Oh sod off.

Newborn life bliss compared with heavily pregnant. Had bags of energy, went out every day, slept far better in between feeds than did when pregnant . (Also wept and had days of snot and vomit, but still preferable to heavily pregnant, AND you get to hold your lovely baby/ies)

Inglori0us Sun 16-Mar-14 14:20:41

I slept better after the birth too. I woke up, fed baby and then fell unconscious (or so it felt) until the next feed.
Now I'm laying awake half the night in constant pain, baby is crushing my diaphragm making it hard to breathe, I have carpal tunnel, restless legs, a cough, blocked sinuses, heartburn and get up to wee 4 or 5 times a night.

notnowbernard Sun 16-Mar-14 14:26:22

I have never felt as tired as I did when pg with dc3

Never

I was positively euphoric post birth, at the sheer joy of no longer being pg!

greentshirt Sun 16-Mar-14 14:50:33

I hate it when people say this to me too, and the most annoying thing is that they always do it with a half gleeful little smug smirk on their faces and wtf are you supposed to say?!

The main reason I hate it is because its my secret worry that I will be so tired that I cant cope, I hate all this not knowing of having my first baby!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now