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Any pregnant overseas mumsnetters?

(28 Posts)
Tallblue Sat 15-Mar-14 04:20:39

I'm 16 weeks pregnant, currently living and working overseas. Are there any other pregnant expats out there? Any tips on being pregnant and away from friends and family?

NancyinCali Sat 15-Mar-14 04:48:03

I'm pregnant with DD2 in California. Had DD1 here too.
Not sure I have any tips apart from try to build a support network around you. Can you go to yoga or antenatal classes to try to meet people? And after your DC arrives join new mum groups. Meetup.com is great for meeting people, I met just about all my friends through it. I even started my own group for Brit expats with babies & toddlers.

MasterFlea Sat 15-Mar-14 04:54:59

I'm having my third dc. All have been born overseas with no family or friends involved. I guess a lot depends on your personality. I'm very introverted so wouln't cope well with having lots of people around anyway.

My DH is great and a my best friend (naff as that sounds) so having one person to rely on is enough for me.

MN is also a haven for me too.

livingzuid Sat 15-Mar-14 08:45:22

My first dc in the Netherlands. Mn has been fantastic. And Skype / WhatsApp for staying in touch with friends particularly ones who have children already and are full of good advice.

Mum pops over now and again but we aren't hugely close. Um planning one last trip back before the birth to see friends and go shopping grin. The main challenge has been the language barrier although most people's English is excellent. It's still not the same. You feel the foreigness of everything. Although the care is excellent. Dh is Dutch and there is a lot of info available in English but still....

livingzuid Sat 15-Mar-14 08:45:44

I'm planning even...

Scotinoz Sat 15-Mar-14 09:36:07

I had my first baby last December and my husband&I live in Oz. Don't have any family etc out here and we haven't manage a visit yet (family to us or vice versa).

Pregnancy was fine, it was just when the baby arrived it was a bit weird. Take lots of photos, Skype, Viber etc. My mum liked to see my bump on Skype. I also sent her links for stuff we were buying (I thought links to cots seemed a bit boring but Mum liked to be part of it).

After the baby arrives get into plenty of Mums&Baby things to meet other girls and babies. Friends with babies become surrogate family.

Good luck!

porcito Sat 15-Mar-14 14:29:00

I'm in Mexico, almost 12 weeks. This is my first and it is strange, especially as everything's so different here. Where are you tallblue? I've done lots of skype, sending photos of scans etc, and as someone else said, links to things. My parents are flying out around my due date but I'm sure it'll be weird when they're gone.

AmsterdamT Sat 15-Mar-14 21:18:25

I'm also in the Netherlands and also planning a trip back to catch up with friends before I pop. I sometimes find it hard to follow how the system works but I'm doing ex pat meet ups to speak to other foreigners and get a clearer idea of what I can expect.

sambababy Sun 16-Mar-14 00:53:55

I'm in Brazil, 32wks with DC1. I've also found the language barrier the biggest obstacle which has stopped me making friends really. The difference in birth options here has been difficult too. Like porcito my parents are visiting after my due date and I'm more worried about how I will be when they've gone and I feel isolated. My advice would be do anything you can to meet other mums2b.

Vikkijayne2507 Sun 16-Mar-14 01:30:11

yep im in Portugal 36 weeks moved here with oh whose Portuguese. its difficult and im expecting to have lots of doubts of my decision and so much adjusting. ive had 1 friend visit already since January and my dad is coming over around due date in April. im planning on going bk every 3 or 4 months if possible so baby is aware of his family. I also have been to inter nations and met other ex pats so hopefully they will develop

AngryBeaver Sun 16-Mar-14 01:35:47

Hi, I'm 34 weeks and I'm in NZ. Care has been very good here, and I'm just kind off matching forward to that due date.
Mum isn't coming until may/June so I will be desperate to see her and have some help.

Definitely advise you to make as many friends as you can.
Maybe post in overseas and make the thread title more specific to your area?

The language barrier is problematic. Do you take lessons?

snowqu33n Sun 16-Mar-14 01:49:48

Had DS in Dec in Japan. Do you have a language barrier? Check carefully what the cultural norms are WRT things like routine enemas, keeping baby with you in your room after birth in the hospital etc. and make your own wishes known clearly.
The hospital was difficult for me as staff didnt use English at all and werent all that supportive of breastfeeding. Being at home in isolation afterward was very hard cos I was snowed in and couldnt drive for a few weeks so when DH was at work I was alone with the baby. I was really glad to have people I could Skype at those times.
Try to join a local mums group before you have DC and keep going out of the house as much as possible with your baby.

Strokethefurrywall Sun 16-Mar-14 01:49:58

38 weeks with #2, been here for 6 years, having babies here has been a fantastic experience regardless of family not being close by.

We have a fantastic group of friends here, we all arrived around the same time and have been there through the drunk days, weddings and having babies together so we are all family in lieu of our actual family.

Skype is the best thing and although it might sound bad, I really don't feel like I missed out on not having my family close by, and we're an exceptionally close family.

Having said that, I think it may have been different if I hadn't been gone that long though, I was gone for 4 years by the time DC1 came along so we had already built our life here, got married, bought a house and a very stable support network.

SwedeAway Sun 16-Mar-14 04:50:34

We are in South Africa (DH is from here). Had DD here in 2010 and it was fine. Had DH's family around but would have liked to have mine around at the time. Now pg with DC2 due in Oct. My mum has offered to be here for the birth but I think I will decline and ask her to come right after instead. I know we handled the previous one on our own with not much support so this one should be a breezesmile I go 'home' once a year with DD and my parents come to visit once or twice a year. So far we love living here and it's worked out fine.

mrsnec Sun 16-Mar-14 05:54:44

11+5 here and in cyprus. Not too worried as the doctors at the local hospital speak great English. I don't have a massive support network here but there are online forums and my inlaws live here too about 10 minutes away. I'd like my mum to be here later on but I'm not sure of the logistics yet.It is likely to be her only biological grandchild.

Tallblue Mon 17-Mar-14 17:21:36

Thanks to you all, this is very reassuring. I'm in the Middle East, there is a big expat community but for women, mainly the social events take place during the day (coffee mornings, ladies lunches etc) whereas I work full time. Hoping to meet some more people when the maternity leave starts!

ikeaismylocal Mon 17-Mar-14 21:19:27

I'm 8ish weeks pregnant with dc2 and live in Sweden.

Ds1 was born here in December 2012, I found the care amazing both whilst pregnant, the birth and the postnatal care.

I have lived in Sweden for 3 and a half years but it was only after having ds that I made Swedish friends. I worked for an English speaking company so made lovely English speaking friends, but it's great to feel more integrated into the community now. I really feel like Sweden is home now.

I miss my family but when we go and stay with them or they come to us we have great fun.

The only downside is finding names that work in Swedish and English!

mrsnec Tue 18-Mar-14 05:25:55

I think having friends here that are already mums is great, whilst they didn't all give birth here they know people who have if I have questions which is great. I was thinking that too about names, silly things like I'd want them to be able to celebrate their name day with other children but that's going to be difficult as we're atheists!

Booboostoo Tue 18-Mar-14 05:50:59

I was pregnant with DC1 in France in 2011 but became very unhappy with the provision of healthcare and we left last minute to go back home (Greece though not UK). I was very lucky we left when I was 37wks and my waters broke at 38wks!

This time I am 14wks with DC2 and we plan to leave around 24 weeks and stay in Greece for 6 months to have a bit of help from grandparents with DC1.

dana4nyc Tue 18-Mar-14 05:56:29

I'm 13 weeks pregnant with DC #3 and currently living in Oman. DC1 and DC2 were born in England. I am American and my husband is British. Planning on flying my in laws out for the birth here since they were around for the births of the others. My parents only came to the UK for the birth of our first child.

mrsnec Tue 18-Mar-14 06:00:37

That's interesting Boo, I'm in Cyprus and guessing things aren't that different here than in Greece. Can I ask everyone who wants their parents with them or has had them stay with previous pgs a few questions, did they stay with you? How long for and when did they book flights?

livingzuid Tue 18-Mar-14 06:31:48

My due date is 6 June and my parents are thinking of coming on the 16th to give us a hand. Dh will have returned to work by then.

Booboostoo Tue 18-Mar-14 06:59:35

mrsnec I just found the French health care system didn't really suit me. The public health care system is extremely well funded, no waiting lists, no problems with worrying a treatment may be too expensive to be recommended, etc so in that respect quite different from the NHS, however it is extremely paternalistic, with little or no patient choice and doctors don't seem to think that informing patients or getting their consent is in any way relevant to what they do. I hated that lack of control over decision making!

Greece can also be paternalistic and condescending towards patients, however, there is a well developped private sector in health care. I went privately and found a gynea who suited my ideas - he had trained and worked in the UK!

dreamc1 Tue 18-Mar-14 07:53:16

We are currently living in Dubai. I'm 30 weeks pregnant with no.2. Tisn't so bad being away from family, but then when I had no.1 in the UK family only came over for the day, so no support.
The care here so far has been quite good. thankfully we have medical insurance, I'm now seeing the obgyn every 2 weeks. To start with it was every 4 weeks. Compared to the UK where you see the midwife every 6 weeks, then every 4 weeks.

ikeaismylocal Tue 18-Mar-14 11:23:19

My mum, stepdad, sister (she is a child) and brother came for Christmas a week's after ds was born.

My sister and brother stayed with us and my parents stayed in a hotel.

This time I think I'd prefer to have just me, my dp our ds and the new baby. It felt very busy when my family visited and new babies don't really do much of interest anyway.

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