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How to be flexible and not fight with my DH over baby care details?

(30 Posts)
Elastigrrrl Thu 13-Mar-14 16:25:04

I was always worried that my DH and I, who often have different ways of approaching problems and questions (though love each other deeply), would find child-rearing a never-ending battleground. At 28 weeks pregnancy with DS1 it�s already started!

Things we have disagreed on, sometimes more heatedly than others:
-Keep some formula around in case BF�ing doesn�t work well to begin with; or try to stick it out so we don�t resort at the first hitch?
-Is a used car seat OK for the first two months? (his point: we rarely travel by car and we are moving in two months and it is unlikely someone would unscrupulously sell us a dud; my point: everyone says not to do that because the seller could be lying!)
-In general I am pretty low-key when it comes to technology and buying things�not going to buy many clothes, fancy stuff etc and trying to get some used stuff�but he is uber-low-key and wants to get pretty much everything used (even things we�ll use a lot like the pram). I should add we aren�t under such constraints that this is a financial necessity.
-He�s been really busy so hasn�t had the time I�ve had to research things; even rather important issues like circumcision. That said, he�s not willing to listen to me saying �but everyone says on mumsnet!� but wants to make �our� own �logical� decision. But I feel this is unknown territory and we�re better off listening to people who�ve been there.

I sense I�m being a bit controlling, but also I think my views are more informed by the research I�ve done. I don�t see a good reason to do things in ways I feel are likely to fail. Except if keeping DH happy is supposed to be enough of a good reason!

Please advise if you�ve been through anything similar. Thank you smile

qazxc Fri 14-Mar-14 17:55:48

I bought a second hand travel system but the car seat was never used (they had been given a better one from grandparents and bought adaptors so that they could clip it it on frame).
Me and Dp had gone for a play around in the shops and are now buying the things we want second hand. I'd say we are probably paying a quarter of what we would have paid new.
We are also gladly accepting any and all donations from friends and family (but are going to replace matresses on cots and moses basket).
Babies do not care whether the stuff is new, so unless it poses a safety risk, you and DP might find areas of compromise.

alita7 Fri 14-Mar-14 22:31:31

There's an idea get a travel system smile

MrsSpencerReid Fri 14-Mar-14 22:47:04

You can buy a new car seat fairly cheap, I would use second hand from a friend tho, curious as to why you'll only need it for 2 months tho? If that's not too nosey!!

babymouse Sat 15-Mar-14 07:38:38

I think the circumcision may be a cultural thing for your dh if he is from the US - that said does he know that the majority of male babies in the US aren't getting circumcised anymore?

Booboostoo Sat 15-Mar-14 09:18:05

Buy a new car seat and take it with you. You'll need one if you are going to/from the airport in a car and airlines will transport it for free. If regulations are different in the US, check them out and buy one now that fits in with those requirements.

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