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Pregnancy

To scared to do anything

4 replies

AlwaysDancing1234 · 08/03/2014 20:33

I'm just over 24 weeks now. Had early sickness then also had constant bleeding from 12-20 weeks with 2 massive bleeds requiring A&E trips by ambulance. Cause was a subchorionic haemorrhage which eventually reabsorbed.
20 week scan all was perfect and healthy, no further problems.
I'll get to the point - last time DH and I were 'properly' intimate was pretty much at time of conception.
I do want to try it again, no mad swinging from the chandeliers, just gentle stuff but I'm too bloody scared.
DH has been very good about things but is obviously very keen to give it a try.
I'm just petrified that it might bring on a bleed or God forbid even early labour and I would never forgive myself.
Do you think I'm being sensible or just being silly and should get on with it?

OP posts:

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Writerwannabe83 · 08/03/2014 20:45

Hi op - I had bleeds at 7, 10 and 14 weeks and was advised to refrain from sex until my 20 week scan could confirm everything was ok. The reality though was that we hadn't had sex since conception anyway and because of the bleeding I had no intention of doing so. The 20 week scan was fine but it still took me another 2 weeks before I felt brave enough to DTD again. It wasn't enjoyable because I was so tense that it would trigger more bleeding. For a few days afterwards I was constantly on edge and knicker watching but thankfully everything was fine.

however, like I said I hadn't really enjoyed the sex because my mind was completely elsewhere and my DH definitely sensed this and knew the whole thing made me nervous. I'm now 37 weeks and we haven't DTD again since that one occasion.

DH completely understands and to be honest I think he's just as worried as causing harm as I am.

Don't ever feel like you are being silly for worrying about your baby's well-being x x

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Snowlet · 08/03/2014 20:50

I had a bleed at 8 weeks and one at 12 weeks, never anything wrong with the baby, they reckon maybe my implantation caused a pocket of blood or something.... In any case, we've kept on with the sexy time since the BFP (and I'm 26 weeks now) and I've not even thought to be worried? Nothing TOO vigorous really, just intimacy. Not had any problems at all. My bleeds sound less traumatic though, so please don't think I'm trying to dismiss your worries. Just sharing my own experience thus far.

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squizita · 08/03/2014 20:54

I have an ectropian so bleed after dtd anyway.

We've decided, with my history of MC, that full sex would just be too psychologically straining for me (is it 'normal' blood? Or something more sinister? etc').

Having said that it doesn't cause problems at all in most pregnancies - but it's not that unusual to hold off for psychological reasons if bleeding is likely.

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AlwaysDancing1234 · 08/03/2014 21:17

Thank you all for sharing your experiences, I don't feel quite so silly now. Going to have an honest discussion with DH about it as it's like the elephant in the room at the moment. We both know the problem is there so to speak but are avoiding talking about it which is not good I know.
I guess when I get to 41 weeks (DS1 was born at almost 42 weeks) I'm sure I'll be doing everything and looking back on this and thinking myself daft.