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Anxious and frustrated with midwifes

(13 Posts)
KatraAllandra Fri 07-Mar-14 18:33:02

Trying to organise my NHS antenatal classes is turning into a right farce.

At the booking appointment I was given a photocopied sheet with a location, dates & times, and other information about my classes and I was booked onto the appropriate course
At my first mid-wife appointment I was told that the information I had been given was wrong in both location and dates & times, but she hadn't bothered to bring the right details
At second midwife appointment (with a different midwife) I was told that classes were in April at the local community centre, but she hadn't brought the dates and times so I should phone the office and someone would give me the right details
I phoned today and was confidently told that the original details I'd been given were correct, when I queried this she got all flustered and said now she was confused and wasn't sure which location was correct, but that the class was definitely on a certain day and time, but I should double check at my next midwife appointment which isn't till April after the date and time I've been given for the first class.

How can I trust these people when they can't even tell me where and when I'm meant to be at an antenatal class? It's making me very stressed and a little panicky, if a midwife gets flustered and confused so easily what good will they be if a serious problem happens?

My first pregnancy ended in a late miscarriage so I'm extra worried about this one but in all my interactions with midwifes so far I've been patronised, dismissed and treated like an idiot and now they can't even get basic admin stuff right.

squizita Fri 07-Mar-14 18:49:43

They sound annoying.

But in their defence/for your reassurance: they're not trained administrators so don't take this as an indication of medical know-how. Not a MW but know exactly the frustration of trying to do admin I'm not trained for as well as my 'front line' job!

Monkeybrain10 Fri 07-Mar-14 20:18:19

My midwife just told me to call the children's centres to find out about classes...that was it. Cuts out the middle man i guess!

Roseandmabelshouse Fri 07-Mar-14 20:51:19

I would back up your midwife a little bit and suggest that it's not really her role to sort out your antenatal classes. It does sound like its a bit disorganised in your local area though.

KatraAllandra Fri 07-Mar-14 21:34:35

Then whose job is it? I can't afford £250 for an NCT course and the midwives are the ones responsible for telling women when and where they happen. There is no one else to ask.

KatraAllandra Fri 07-Mar-14 21:35:35

The NHS courses that is

Monkeybrain10 Sat 08-Mar-14 06:52:50

Ask her where the free courses are held..eg. A nearby children's centre and then call them direct. They'll be able to give u definite info and book u on the courses. Or do a search online which should show u the free courses as well as nct ones.
Btw if it makes u feel better my midwife has made me feel so stupid for asking any questions (am a first timer) to the point i have stopped asking her anything and am relying on Google and mumsnet!!

KatraAllandra Sat 08-Mar-14 08:57:42

The problem is that they can't tell me where the NHS courses are being held! They don't put any information online at all apart from a page of phone numbers for the midwife teams, there's no number for an administrator or similar and no details of anything they offer - it's just call us!

The only other local antenatal courses that are available are the NCT ones.

SirChenjin Sat 08-Mar-14 09:04:09

I don't think you can equate the professional ability of your midwifery team to manage your pregnancy, delivery and post partum care, with their ability to know where and when the classes are being held. You'll probably find that the classes are arranged centrally by an admin person somewhere, and that person hasn't been very good at communicating that.

Why don't you phone them back, say that you're concerned, and give them a few days to confirm and get back to you. Or, ask who the organiser is and contact them directly? I know it's frustrating, but I'm sure it will get sorted, and it's in no way a reflection on their professional abilities.

Mummytobe2014 Sat 08-Mar-14 09:04:53

I had some paperwork in my pink notes which had contact details on it so i emailed them and booked onto the sat class that was being run!
Mw told me the paperwork was there but was not involved in arranging it as its a seperate group. I wld be inclined to go with the date provided originally but maybe call them again and clarify but cut out your mw.

KatraAllandra Sat 08-Mar-14 09:36:01

I have asked repeatedly, the midwives in this area are responsible for organising the NHS antenatal courses and booking people onto the right ones. They provide no online or written information about them and there is no administrator to talk to! They don't have an email address and the only web presence they have is a single webpage with a list of phone numbers to contact the midwife team in your area.

I'm not an idiot, I've tried everything to get this information. Whenever I've spoken to a midwife on the phone or in person (never the same one twice) I've been treated like an idiot and talked down to in a way that makes me feel even more helpless and pathetic. Last time I burst into tears when I got off the phone because I was made to feel so stupid. I was only asking for an explanation of some test results I'd been sent which came without any information to tell me if they were good or bad.

I'm really hating this pregnancy, at 24 weeks I still feel nauseous all the time, I can't sleep and I don't feel there is anywhere I can go for support. As I'm now too scared to call the midwives in case they are angry with me.

SirChenjin Sat 08-Mar-14 09:38:43

I don't know how it works where you are, but perhaps it's time to complain to the Head of Midwifery? Write to them, summarise what you've said on this thread?

Monkeybrain10 Sat 08-Mar-14 16:30:32

If it makes u feel any better i always burst into tears after seeing the midwife because she makes me feel stupid for asking anything. Maybe it's part of their job description?! I'm just getting all my info about the pg online and through friends. I'm past caring about the midwife and her stuck up, belittling attitude. Also, i have been told by a number of people that most of the antenatal classes aren't that important. Ps. I'm 24 weeks too...not slept properly since week 5 (nature's little joke!)

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