Convincing reasons of why you are not drinking alcohol in 1st trimester - HELP!

[neeps1207]

Morning everyone.

I found out last week that we are expected DC2, after 18 months of trying. It still doesn't feel quite real after trying for so long but I am currently 5weeks, so still very early days.

My DH and I are due to attend a big birthday lunch tomorrow for two very good friends, which will include other DHs and involve lots of food and alcohol. This was arranged 4 weeks ago, obviously before I got my BFP. I'm obviously concerned about what to say, as it will be noticed that I am not drinking alcohol. I'm not comfortable with letting people know I'm pregnant just now as its so early, and especially not in front of such a large group, as they will be about 20 of us in total.

Can anyone share what convincing reasons they gave for not drinking during the 1st trimester. Please help! Thank you

[JeanSeberg]

Could you drive?

[Athrawes]

Just say that you are both getting healthy to try and concieve.

[neeps1207]

Thanks

I'm going to be driving now, but its not really an excuse as we would have just got a taxi like everyone else.

I was thinking of saying its because I'm trying to get healthy but I had already spoken to a couple of my friends to say how much I was looking forward to a cocktail or two , or three . . . (obviously before BFP) as I just didn't expect this month to the month. My DH will be drinking. He said that we don't need to go if its going to be too difficult, but for him it will be all or nothing (the lunch price includes unlimited food and booze, so he will be getting merry!) He has been really good the past few months from not drinking in order to get pregnant and I don't think its fair to not let him enjoy himself.

I'm hoping one or two of the girls might grab me in the toilets to ask, and I don't think I would be able to not tell them in private, I just hope I'm not asked directly over the table in front of everyone!

[JeanSeberg]

You're driving because you're going somewhere that evening so have to stay sober but will be able to have a drink later.

Most decent folk won't say anything even if they suspect the real reason.

[Pinter]

It's Lent. Perfect!
Congratulations btw

[Thegreatunslept]

I said I was on antibiotics for tooth abscess/gum infection. Asthere is a certain antibiotic dentists prescribe that will you sick if you drink while taking it Metronidazole isthename of it.

[KatAndKit]

There is no convincing excuse. Usually whenever this happens I expect an announcement six weeks later and I am generally correct! Most people will have the tact not to say anything though even if they did guess. Driving is more convincing than medication in my opinion.

I just pretend to drink. I get tonic with ice and lemon, who's to know that the gin is missing? Orange and cranberry juice makes a convincing mocktail. If someone offers to go to the bar I then would say "oh I've had a few already, best pace myself! Just a coke this round thanks". Appletise in a white wine glass will usually pass unnoticed too.

[RadgeWeeMidden]

I found that claiming to have a nasty hangover and " will have one in a bit" seemed to work pretty well. As others have said though, if your friends have any tact they won't say anything, even if they do suspect

[PrincessOfChina]

I'd just pretend to drink. Antibiotics and random driving are dead giveaways!

But, to be fair, your mates will probably all guess over the next few weeks and if they're anything like mine they'll keep their mouths shut anyway. It's like an unspoken code.

[MyNameIsKenAdams]

Or just get your OH to buy you glasses of sparkling water and claim its g&t. Then say "oops just the one as I said I would drive" and go on to whatever else you want to drink.

[MissSlackPants84]

I ordered coke or lemonade in small glasses. Gives the appearance of drinking shorts

[TheWomanWithTheMysteriousLump]

Nobody in the history of the world has ever believed a woman in her 30s who says she can't drink because she's on metraziwhatsitol.

[Incapinka]

You've given it up for lent. Perfect timing!

[iloveweetos]

I said it was breaking me out so gave alcohol up. U could say the breakouts are on your back etc so no need to show. But ATM lent is the best!!

[greentshirt]

Get a taxi and pretend to drink. I brazened it out for ages that way!

[Fairypants]

I fake drank and kept my glass next to dh's so he drank mine too. We did really well getting through one bottle that way but when someone insisted on splitting another bottle with me poor DH was
It worked though.

[letsmakeababy]

Initially I said dry January, and now I'm saying lent! Having said that my friends are used to me giving things up randomly so probably won't surprise them...and even if it did i'd fully expect them not to say anything!

When I've not had a solid excuse (I.e throughout feb) I've just not made a big deal of the fact I'm not drinking and people don't tend to go on about it. It's easy when you're hiding something to try and think of a whole story, but more often than not, people really aren't that bothered/barely notice if you're not drinking!

Good luck

[neeps1207]

Thanks everyone so much for your replies :)

I think I will just get my DH to order my drinks, so small lemonade or soda with ice and lemon, and a few mocktails too.

Lent would have been the perfect excuse, but I can't lie for toffee so think I'll just try to play it cool . If I don't make a big deal out of it, then hopefully it will go unnoticed. I like the idea of getting a taxi anyway though - that would definitely put them off the scent, and save me bloody driving! But, yeah I think I may get one or two asking privately or at some point in the next week or two when I see them, as they will probably be able to guess.

[Snowlet]

You've got your DH there, he can be your wingman. A couple sips of a drink doesn't worry either me or my DP (though I appreciate you may want to intake 0% alcohol, personal choice) so sometimes in the beginning I'd order a half, have a few sips and DP would quietly help me out/pour it into his glass.

Also, whatever happened to just not drinking because you don't feel like it?? I do wonder sometimes if the drinking peer pressure among full grown adults (having children for god's sake!) has gone a little far. That's not a critique on your friends at all, just a sort of general musing.

[squizita]

My little fibs (or NOT as they were all coincidentally true as well as being PG) were:
-I'm taking blood thinning medication makes me sick when I drink. People who say no one believes this... I've been there for weeks/months at a time when not pregnant. It's a pain in the arse and my mates had had the sharp end of my tongue when they raised their eyebrows shortly after a miscarriage! I wished it was cause I was pregnant!
-Blood test tomorrow not allowed
-Charity thing (lent would also work)
-This was my best one when also haggard and vomiting "heavy one last night, got to take time off" (the green face and puking then became part of it).

[Roseandmabelshouse]

Say you are trying - that usually stops people continuing with their questioning.

[squizita]

Snowlet I don't think it's peer pressure but noticing a change in habits. Ad some mates we mainly see in the evenings, so a glass of wine might be the norm. I guessed in the past because a friend started to dress differently (the old tunic-and-a-scarf not her sleek usual look) for example, one of my mates guessed with me because I'd gone off coffee and mussels at a lunch out.
If they see you and know your 'usual' drink, it's a variation on that.
My Muslim friends who never drink have similar dilemmas around eating brie, caffeine, heavy lifting or what have you.

[LePetitPont]

Good luck with your lunch -the DH as wingman approach has worked for me. I d

And congratulations!

[LePetitPont]

Grr, stupid phone. That first sentence should read:

My DH has acted as wingman, I don't mind having a few sips clearly would drink the whole glass given half a chance and then he polishes it off. Tonic - who's to know no gin in there etc?

[greentshirt]

No one actually did come out and ask me directly but I would have flat out lied and not worried about their feelings afterwards. It's totally inappropriate to ask, if people want to announce then they will, no need for someone to shout across the table and ask (which I have had when I wasn't pregnant and I gave the girl the very sharp end of my tongue!)