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Who will you have present at the birth?

(61 Posts)
moomin35 Thu 30-Jan-14 21:29:36

Just wondered who you plan to have in the delivery room with you when you give birth. If I have my partner in the room does this make him my "birth partner"? I would like him to be at the hospital with me but not clear whether I will want him in the room with me the whole time.

Also when do you plan to have your first lot of visitors after giving birth (relatives eg, mum, MIL and FIL, sisters, brothers etc etc...)

Clargo55 Thu 30-Jan-14 21:40:27

Planning a homebirth here and having DH as birth partner. If we get transferred to hospital, will still just have him there.

Not planning on having any visitors until breast feeding is established. Not keen on in laws watching me trying to get baby to latch on.

Blondebrunette1 Thu 30-Jan-14 21:52:08

I just have my husband,it's our baby and our experience I don't feel he should have to share the experience with my mother or another friend or relative of choice unless he wishes (& he doesn't.) I do not want anyone else but him there either as he's all the support I need, we are really close and again I feel like anyone else would be in the way. I do get its a personal choice though some people want their mother or friend their too. As for visitors I wish with my first I'd thought about saying give us a couple of hours after delivery before you all turn up (I didn't want to be mean and say don't let them in but of have liked a little more space at first.) This time we'll see how we feel and how well labour goes I guess. Xx

MissSlackPants84 Thu 30-Jan-14 21:55:57

My fella is my birthing partner. Providing delivery goes ok we don't intend on having anyone visit us at the hospital full stop. Its our special time to enjoy not anyone elses :-)

SweetPea86 Thu 30-Jan-14 22:01:24

Just my hubby no one else, I really don't want visitors untill I'm home and settled but I know this won't happen, but labour just me and him I'm putting my foot down lol

sarahquilt Thu 30-Jan-14 22:04:53

My husband. We have no family in the UK.

mel0dy Thu 30-Jan-14 22:09:48

DP only. No-one else I know personally gets to see me naked/screaming/swearing/being a bitch/panting/wobblingaboutinunflatteringpositions share it with me . Although I do have a close friend in reserve in the hopefully unlikely event his car has broken down somewhere miles away in comedy fashion. (He's a drummer, it's entirely possible).

lillajag Thu 30-Jan-14 22:43:00

Just DP. Neither of us have family in this country so no visits at the hospital (apart from a friend who's driving us back home) smile

MoominIsGoingToBeAMumWaitWHAT Thu 30-Jan-14 22:47:42

My boyfriend and my mum smile think I need the support of someone who's gone through it four times before grin

Cupcake11 Thu 30-Jan-14 22:47:42

My husband and my sister - I'd have my mum there too if I could! grin

Shellywelly1973 Thu 30-Jan-14 22:50:27

I won't have a birth partner. Hopefully just the MW delivering the baby!

BartBaby Thu 30-Jan-14 22:57:34

Just my DH. Then family members will bring our ds to visit at the evenings visiting times.

MaybeProbably Thu 30-Jan-14 23:20:47

ShellyWelly - I think that's a really brave option. I was thinking along similar lines because I tend to be a bit more wimpy when DP is there, whereas if it's just medical professionals, I feel like I might hold it all together a bit more.

We're debating whether to have my aunt there - she's an experienced MW and happy to help.
But part of me just wants to to be me & DH while I moo and strain unflatteringly.

Would I be daft not to take advantage of her expertise?

me and husband. we created life together and are bringing it into the world. inviting anyone else would be wrong.

MrsM2013 Fri 31-Jan-14 00:31:09

Have been to deliveries with partners, mums and dads there for the critical moment. Always made me feel a bit weird.

DP will definitely be there, My 2 teens (DS17, DD15) want to be there. Ive got an appointment with the consultants in a fortnight to discuss delivery. Im going to negotiate the DCs. We have been through a very hard 9 months as a family and they have been towers of support. If they want to be there then I want them there. Im hoping my powers of persuasion are good enough.

Shellywelly1973 Fri 31-Jan-14 00:58:31

Maybe With my first 2 dc my mum was with me. She drove me insane especially with dc2. She talked constantly. She kept recounting her hideous birth stories.

Dc 3,4 &5 Exdp was with me. He did nothing but sat in the corner of the room, looking awkward. I actually cried when I was in labour with Dc5 as I felt so alone.

With this baby I don't want Exdp with me & he doesn't want to be at the birth. Sadly he's chosen not to be involved in our dc's lives.

My best friend lives an hour & half away but doesn't drive. I looked into a doula but after meeting 4 decided it really wasn't for me.

It doesn't bother me now. It did a few weeks ago & I started a thread about it. I was overwhelmed with the offers of support from MNrs. I know the birth is very imminent now & -im looking forward to meeting my baby & getting back to normal.

Shellywelly1973 Fri 31-Jan-14 01:03:06

Saggy I've got a 24 &22 year old & I think they would rather do anything other then be at the birth.

My friend gave birth & her ds 18 & dd17 were with her as well case her dh. Her dc were fascinated & my friend loved having them there. Personally i wouldn't want my grown up dc at the birth as I would end up looking after them!

IdaClair Fri 31-Jan-14 01:12:34

Dh and dc1 were there at dc2's birth. Dc1 was 5yo

grin Mine totally have the option either way. I wouldn't make them. Theyre very good in a crisis and have been amazing so far. We'll see. smile

Legalbaby79 Fri 31-Jan-14 07:20:03

This is a good thread as its given me a lot more confidence to speak up with what I want. Partners family would all be at the end of bed, especially MIL giving me assisting me push if they could!!!! And was worried to speak up, as didn't want to upset partner but now..... They can all bugger off until we are settled as our own little family grin

Mummytobe2014 Fri 31-Jan-14 07:30:02

Just me and dp, he suggested my mum too but this is a moment i jst want to share with him. He thinks i will need her coz im abit of a whimp but it wld feel odd to have her their even tho we r very close smile

greentshirt Fri 31-Jan-14 07:39:42

I think just us too, I'm hoping to homebirth and I'm already a bit miffed at the thought of the two midwives being in our house for a long time, need to think of some ways of dealing with that!

My DHs Aunty is an experienced homebirth midwife and a health visitor and is excellent in a crisis so considering having her on standby, although the midwife doesn't seem keen

MummyPig24 Fri 31-Jan-14 08:25:56

It will just be my and my husband. And the midwife of course. Hoping to go to a tiny birth centre and looking forward to a hopefully peaceful and straightforward experience!

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