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Shitting myself for scan tomorrow - can I have some hand-holding please?

(39 Posts)
RaRa1988 Wed 22-Jan-14 13:12:18

20-week scan tomorrow and I'm terrified sad. Baby was fine at 12 weeks and had a good strong heartbeat at 16 weeks, but I haven't felt him/her move yet and I've got myself convinced that that's because there's something wrong... Doesn't help that a woman at work told me she had a daughter stillborn at 24 weeks, and I've had horrible dreams the last couple of nights, one in which the baby was stillborn and one in which I gave birth at 24 weeks all alone in a shop changing room (!) and had to resuscitate the baby myself sad. Horrible horrible images in my head - it was a little girl and she was all purple and I had to hold her partly upside down and do chest compressions because she wouldn't breathe. I'm terrified now.

PenguinsDontEatKale Wed 22-Jan-14 13:19:04

I know how hard it is, but I am sure you will be fine. MMC after 16 weeks is very, very rare.

And not feeling movements at 20 weeks is totally normal. I got a massive reassuring speech from the sonographer and the mw at 20 weeks about not having felt movement (although actually I wasn't that worried as this is no. 3 and I've never felt them early).

Frizz1986 Wed 22-Jan-14 13:19:33

Dont worry yourself. I felt exactly the same. Everything was going fine but i just had a feeling that something would be wrong at the 20 week scan (to the point of investigating problems and statistics)
I also hadnt felt baby move and just didnt feel pregnant.
Anyway the scan went fine and i had a perfectly normal pregnancy. I now have a lovely 4 week old asleep on me.
I didnt feel my baby until about 21-22 weeks and it wasnt strong until 25-26 weeks.
I am sure that all will be ok so try to stay positive. The chances of something being wrong or giving birth early are very small.

Tomkat79 Wed 22-Jan-14 14:30:23

Rewind 6 weeks rara and i could've written this post! Had even prepared my DH for the worst!

Everything good at the scan and as we walked out of the hospital she started kicking! I'm obviously carrying a real stubborn little madam.

Please try to relax, here to hold your hand x

Hunnyangel80 Wed 22-Jan-14 14:37:52

Here to hold ur hand. Try not to worry relax and get excited ur going to c ur baby tomorrow :D xx

Good luck tomorrow, I didn't feel any kicks with my 2nd till 22/23 weeks as had anterior placenta, which I found out at the 20 week scan (and was very glad to have an answer for my mother's constant 'have you felt it move yet, I felt you at 11 weeks', yada yada yada!)

ChicaMomma Wed 22-Jan-14 14:50:04

RaRa i feel your pain.
I'm 19 weeks but not getting my scan until 22 weeks. each day i get more nervous about it. I think it's normal enough really, and once that is over we will worry about the next thing. The odds are overwhelmingly in our favour that everything is ok- it's less than a 1% chance of anything going wrong at this stage.

I havent really had any kicks either i dont think- little tapping, but it's not like kicking, more likely to be wind.

I'm most terrified about being told there is some abnormality though as against being told he or she is dead.

I'm also worried about hubby's reaction if we find out it's a girl- we have 8 girl nieces so dearly are hoping for a boy!

Very very best of luck to you tomorrow and please report back in the afternoon if you can!

SomethingOnce Wed 22-Jan-14 15:04:32

Oh dear, OP, I had a similarly horrible dream the other day. You have my sympathy.

Like people have already said though, not having felt movement by now is totally normal and the chances are that everything will be fine.

RaRa1988 Wed 22-Jan-14 15:31:23

Thanks you lot - it's really good to hear someone else tell me it'll all be ok. It's just the combination of nightmares and no movement I think - one or tother I could probably cope with, but both together has got me freaking out sad. There's nothing I could even say might be movement either: no 'bubbles' or 'popping' or 'butterflies' or anything else. Literally the only thing I've felt that's different is my own palpitations. And I don't have an anterior placenta either - it's fundal posterior so shouldn't be in the way. God I'm pathetic! DP is all excited for tomorrow and finding out what we're having, and the way he looks at it, 'there's no reason why anything should be wrong'. I'm having trouble looking at it that way though - to me, there's no reason why there shouldn't be anything wrong either; nothing to protect me either.

Does anyone know what sort of anomalies the scan would show up tomorrow? I wouldn't abort regardless so I'm not concerned because of that; I just genuinely don't know what the anomaly scan looks for confused.

PenguinsDontEatKale Wed 22-Jan-14 15:38:49

It looks for all sorts of things - good look at the heart, formation of the limbs, etc, etc.

ChicaMomma Wed 22-Jan-14 15:51:40

I have no idea whether my placenta is anterior, or fundal, or normal- if there is even such a thing as a 'normal' position. If it hasnt been mentioned then do i take it it's normal?

I get you about there being every chance of something being wrong- but statistically that is just not the case- but i do get you nonetheless. I've been hysterical at all 3 scans so far so doubt i'll be any different at this one (at the 9 week 'viability' scan i could barely speak to the consultant after she detected the heartbeat and took a good 5 mins to compose myself. She asked me why i was so upset and i said ''i'm just relieved, i thought you'd tell me there was no baby and i was going through early menopause instead''..) where's the logic? there's none.. I wonder will we calm down after the anomaly scan a bit? Friends of mine have said they have, so here's hoping!

As for what they look for- it's a full anatomy scan so i guess they go through everything with a fine-tooth-comb, literally from head to toe.. i've been told to give it an extra 30 mins for the appt, so it must be pretty detailed. Best of luck.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 22-Jan-14 15:59:58

Oh sweetie. You are totally normal!
Break it down.
Scans are always worrying.
You've had a good 12 week scan and heard the hb at 16. These are fantastic milestones. The chances of anything happening now are very slim.
The fact that someone you know had a stillbirth doesn't reflect on you. Was the stillbirth ever explained?
It happened to my sister. Her baby had a genetic abnormality.
Nightmares are par for the course. Your hormones are going into overdrive it's affecting your sleep. You brain latched on to your friends story. Its not an omen, or a harbinger of doom. Its chemicals.
Crap does happen in PG, but the odds are in your favour. Anxiety is normal though, just take a deep breath and try to keep calm. x

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 22-Jan-14 16:01:35

Oh and the movement thing. Baby may just be facing backwards and you just can't feel anything. It's normal.

RaRa1988 Wed 22-Jan-14 16:07:51

I don't know Chica : I think perhaps they only mention it if it's a problem like if it's one of the low ones that cover the cervix? Forget what they're called! I only know cos I saw it on my notes and wasn't sure what 'fundal' meant so asked the midwife about it.

Aww bless you! flowers I'm gonna be a nervous wreck all the way through the scan then sad. But yes, I reckon I'll feel much better once/if the scan confirms all is ok, and then better again once it starts kicking. Hope you're the same!

RaRa1988 Wed 22-Jan-14 16:10:23

Saggy: You sound very wise and rational! I used to be like that! I don't know why her stillbirth occurred, and I don't know her well enough to ask. I think right now I'd prefer not to know? I'm worrying enough as it is!

Can they face backwards? Spose they can. I'd never even thought of that, so thanks for that idea. All I've heard so far is everyone saying they've felt the baby by like 20weeks at the latest, especially if they're slim, and only haven't if their placenta is anterior, and it's got me a nervous wreck!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 22-Jan-14 17:33:29

Nah! that's just the way I type! wink
Im a hypocrite really, I stress the whole time, DD does have anomalies, I dread every scan in case they bring up something new, but I try not to stress stuff I can explain. and often fail
The vast majority of PGs are just fine. Its just the very few that aren't are the ones that end up on the internet.
I really do know how you feel. Try not to worry though. And just think, you'll see your baby! smile And by this time tomorrow you might even know if its a boy or girl! grin

ChicaMomma Thu 23-Jan-14 11:53:13

RaRa, best of luck today, please do report back!

CrispyFB Thu 23-Jan-14 12:00:02

Hope all goes well today! Statistics are SO much on your side at this point. If you have an anterior placenta (at the front) and/or baby is pointing the wrong way it's quite normal to have not felt anything!

Having said that I also worry about everything - it's normal, it's what we do! It's part of being a mother.

ChicaMomma Thu 23-Jan-14 12:26:00

Yes indeed Crispy.. as my own mother said to me, this is only the beginning of all the worrying.. we have signed up to a life of it! I've never been a worrier at all, and am flabbergasted at the level of worry i'm now experiencing.. Firstly the micarrying worry from 4-10, then the Nuchal fold test worrying at 11, now the Anomaly worrying, OH says he's now SO used to waking in the middle of the nite to see the 'GLOW' of my iPhone as i'm busy googling stuff in the middle of the night! They dont seem to experience the same level of worry AT ALL

HowAboutNo Thu 23-Jan-14 12:38:35

Sending you positive vibes! I was you 2 weeks ago. Exactly the same - no movement. Had a great scan, and have had the occasional movement since. I have been worrying about stillbirth for the last few weeks, though honestly I just think if it's not one thing to worry about it's another! It's all completely normal to freak out. Welcome to the rest of your life! thanks

Writerwannabe83 Thu 23-Jan-14 12:43:09

Good luck today RaRa. I was absolutely crapping myself about my anomaly scan (I had to go to a foetal development unit and be scanned by a Consultant due to potential problems) and what made my worry worse was that. like you, I hadn't really felt any movements.

The scan turned out to be absolutely fine and baby was definitely moving on the screen. Although baby has limbs the bones are still so soft and there is hardly any muscle mass so although it looks like they are thrashing around their movements don't really have any impact on us. I was reassured they didn't really expect regular movements until 23 weeks which is round about when I started really feeling them - he never stops whacking me now smile

sorry to hear about your dreams, they sound very upsetting. It's surprising just how much our dreams can affect us! I really hope that a reassuring scan will help those dreams fade too thanks

lunar1 Thu 23-Jan-14 12:48:56

Hope it all went ok.

RaRa1988 Thu 23-Jan-14 13:09:47

Pleased to announce that we have a healthy baby girl in there smile - relieved and delighted doesn't begin to cover it! Her heart's beating strongly, she's perfectly formed, and she's just the right size. Really really pleased and feel so much better now! Also discovered that I do have an anterior placenta - apparently they told me wrong last time (said it was fundal posterior confused ) so that partly explains the lack of movement, and the sonographer said the midwife really shouldn't have been asking me at the 16-week check if I'd felt any movement as it was pretty rare to feel it at that point, and obviously all it's done is get me worried! So relieved now smile ! Phew! Thanks ever so much for all your support flowers

PenguinsDontEatKale Thu 23-Jan-14 13:15:00

Yeay!

Now please bear in mind that this is my third baby and with an anterior placenta I was around 22 weeks before I got anything reliable and at 26 they are still much more sporadic than my previous pregnancies. Just to pre-empt the next worry grin

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 23-Jan-14 13:21:19

Yep. anterior placenta here too. No real proper movement until around 22 weeks.
you're home free now. Try and enjoy your pg now. xx

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