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decision about breastfeeding

(58 Posts)
juju283 Tue 14-Jan-14 14:47:27

Okay so I have decided I do not want to breastfeed. I am obviously well aware of the benefits to thebaby and myself but my reason for choosing not to is because I had an eating disorder when I was younger. It was resolve but being pregnant has brought some of it back and I am constantly worrying about whether or not I am eating enough for my baby. I try really hard but I struggle to get the 300 calories extra in a day. I know when you breast feed you should have 500 calories extra and for me I would constantly worry that I wasn't doing this and would fear that my baby was not getting enough milk. I feel that although breast feeding is best ,in my case it is better that I know that my baby is eating and I haven't got to worry about what I eat reducing my chances of pnd too. Does this make me selfish or a terrible person for making this decision?

GiraffesAndButterflies Wed 15-Jan-14 19:37:03

this has made me beat myself up and panic that I'm not eating enough and that I have convinced myself I have hurt the baby. So much so that I have actually been signed off work now with depression.

sad much sympathy, sorry you are struggling. Please please do consider getting yourself some support & a medical opinion on this now though- obviously we can't see you and can't say this for certain, but it sounds extremely unlikely that you have harmed your baby, as has been said, they are pretty good at looking after themselves at your expense! I'm sure a midwife would be able to reassure you on this point.

And fwiw I can offer my own anecdotal evidence that I had ketones in my urine despite having a perfectly normal pregnancy diet. For someone with a history of EDs I totally understand that that would have very different associations, but do consider the fact that the dr may be right and you were simply dehydrated.

SweetPea86 Wed 15-Jan-14 20:08:52

I don't think you selfish at all. I'm pregnant with my first and I'm going to give breast feeding a go BUT I'm not putting my self under pressure if I can't I can't.

Most people I know decieded not to breast feed. Each to their own smile

MrsRV Wed 15-Jan-14 20:13:03

I'm not breastfeeding this time. not even going to try. happy mum = happy baby in my opinion!

Kelly1814 Wed 15-Jan-14 20:14:46

The thought of breast feeding repulsed me.

I was forced into it by nurses when in hospital and spent the first few weeks of DDs life sobbing and feeling so guilty as I loathed it.

Then I switched to FF and my whole life changed for the better.

Don't do anything you don't want to.

I think there may be evidence that bfing reduces the chances of suffering from PND? I know your situation is pretty specific but I just wanted to mention that, good luck with whatever you decide to do smile

Hubbythecatandme Wed 15-Jan-14 20:57:55

Juju, my friends with children have had a lot of trouble with the "breastapo". By all means do what is best for you. Your baby will be happy with a mum who is following her intuitions, feelings and listening to her own needs in terms of well being xx

Chunderella Wed 15-Jan-14 22:19:33

The number of posters who are saying they can't understand why someone with MH and body issues wouldn't want to bf or that it's a selfish decision is both baffling and disappointing.

Op no, it doesn't make you a bad person not to bf if you feel it's the best decision for you and baby to go with formula. The only thing I would say is that the calorie stuff is complex, and it doesn't mean you can't bf if you don't manage to eat x amount down you every day. It doesn't quite work like that, though I totally see why you think in terms of calories needed. So if you'd ideally prefer to bf but are just worried about being able to eat enough, why not get some expert advice? There are organisations who could help. You might even be able to get some high calorie supplements or something of that nature, if it was felt you really needed them. Or you could look at increasing your intake of high calorie but not particularly filling food. But if it's not that, you've every right to just leave it. You don't even have to do any colostrum if you don't feel it's right for you. And honestly, foetuses are resilient little things. Sure, it's good to eat 2000 calories a day when you're pregnant (and you don't need any more than that til the 3rd trimester anyway). But there are women who don't keep anything down for the whole 9 months, yet still have perfectly healthy babies. If it helps, I didn't manage to eat that much during my pregnancy either. No eating disorders but just really low appetite. And DD has always enjoyed very good health. She was just under 7lbs at birth, but then so were me and DH.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, and good luck.

GiraffesAndButterflies Thu 16-Jan-14 04:57:07

Well said Chunderella, couldn't agree more.

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