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For those pregnant with no.2 when did you feel ready for another?

(30 Posts)
TheCrumpetQueen Fri 27-Dec-13 15:45:45

I have a ds who is 13 months and would love another soon but I'm actually too scared to go through labour again! When does that feeling fade enough that the broodiness takes presidence?

stargirl1701 Fri 27-Dec-13 15:48:14

2 minutes after I gave birth to DD grin But, my labour was lovely and not painful.

The silent reflux over the next 7 months nearly drove me insane though. grin

TheGreatHunt Fri 27-Dec-13 15:50:35

It depends. When ds was weeks old I was ready again. That soon faded! Then again at around 11 months I was ready so we went for it.

With my second I had the same feeling of madness at a few weeks old - a euphoria where I wanted another. Madness. It faded and at around 1 I wanted another. All faded now dd is 2 but I have the odd pang.

My first labour was pretty rough if I compare it to others (the aftermath that is), but the contractions bit was fine. So I wasn't put off by that. My first was a terrible sleeper - again that didn't put me off.

GirlWithTheDirtyShirt Fri 27-Dec-13 15:53:17

Just to add a different perspective, I'm only just feeling ready and DD is almost 3. We'll probably wait a while longer before TTC though so she'll probably be 4 by the time we actually have another.

lastnightopenedmyeyes Fri 27-Dec-13 15:54:43

I had a horrific birth with DS, induced 15 days overdue, straight on the drip with no pain relief despite begging for it, lost 2 litres of blood and then was stitched with no anaesthetic and it took me months to get over the anaemia because they mishandled me at the hospital and didn't give me a blood transfusion when I really needed one. Anyway - a total nightmare.

It took me 2 years to even consider another baby and I'm now 36 weeks pregnant with DC2. The age gap will be 3 years and 5 months.

I'm not looking forward to the birth, and I haven't prepared for it at all. I'm being a bit ostrich-like about it!!

I just knew I wanted another child and eventually I guess the memory faded enough to allow me to try again...

TransatlanticCityGirl Fri 27-Dec-13 15:56:04

The labour didn't put me off in the slightest, but I was too sleep deprived to consider having another until DD was approaching her 2nd birthday.

I don't think I felt 'ready' per se, just less exposed than I did previously.

I fell pregnant a month after her 2nd birthday, and the terrible 2s started about 8 weeks after. Now I'm DEFINITELY feeling not ready again, but my bed is now made.... fingers crossed hoping for the best!

Charotte31 Fri 27-Dec-13 16:00:33

I'm pregnant with no2 now it's due 10 days after my DD 3rd birthday. Which I think is a prefect gap! I wouldn't have felt ready much before then. I never wanted a baby and a toddler, 2 lots of nappies no thank you! Plus DD will be about to start pre school just after baby is born so I'll get a few mornings with just me and the baby.

TheCrumpetQueen Fri 27-Dec-13 16:14:01

I had a difficult birth, back to back so very painful contractions from the beginning, nearly 3 hours pushing and tore v badly as his hand was on his head sad I thought I was going to die as he was coming out.

But I do want another child someday. He's been a v easy child in the way of sleeping, eating etc so maybe that's why I'm feeling broody, just the memory of birth is still fresh.

theborrower Fri 27-Dec-13 16:32:12

I didn't feel back to 'me' until my daughter was just over a year old. I had an EMCS, daughter w few health issues, horrific time BFing and PND, so no wonder really! Started contemplating #2 around the time she was 2, but circumstances prevented us TTC for a while. Pregnant with #2 now and there will be 4 years between them. Which I think will suit us fine. One of my friends got pregnant when her first was only 6 months - I thought she was mad! But her birth story and circumstances were completely different.

TheCrumpetQueen Fri 27-Dec-13 16:44:03

I guess it is a really personal thing. 4 years sounds like a good gap as the older child will be starting school so you can have some time with the newborn

Misty9 Fri 27-Dec-13 16:50:10

We didn't really consider it until first was over a year old. He's now 2.4 and I'm 25wks pregnant with a girl I'll believe it when she comes out so it looks like we'll still have two in nappies and def need a double pushchair as he's a lazy toddler!

Oh, and he was a brilliant sleeper until 22 months and went into a bed. Not relishing the thought of two up at night so I'd do it while your first is a good sleeper!

Not till DS was coming up for 2 years old. I would have been unhappy to find myself pg before that and as it happens nature complied as my periods returned around his 2nd birthday (am still breast feeding so that delayed things). I got pg a couple of months later and am due shortly after DS's 3rd birthday. Feels perfect for me.

Hope it works out for you whether you decide to leave a smaller or bigger gap.

theborrower Fri 27-Dec-13 16:51:40

TheCrumpetQueen absolutely, there is no 'right' age gap, just what suits you and your family. Even if I had a better birth experience etc, financial circumstances wouldn't have allowed anyway - we were stuck in a tiny flat trying to save to move out as the market crashed and we lost a fortune on it! Also, we don't get free childcare like my friends do (ie grannies) so we couldn't have afforded two lots of nursery fees. 4 years is going to work out nicely for us :-)

Don't feel pressured - you'll know when it's the right time and you're ready. Or you might not want another, and that's fine too! :-)

DS2 is due on Monday, so I have 3 days to feel ready...

I was terrified when I was first pregnant (even though it was planned), but just had to hope I'd feel ready by the time he arrived. I feel less terrified now but have never felt broody.

For a long time after having DS1 (a 'challenging'(!) baby and traumatic birth) I really wasn't sure if I could ever do it again, but it wore off a bit after a while until I could entertain the idea and two with this kind of age gap was always in the plan.

Fingers crossed!

Romily Fri 27-Dec-13 17:00:35

A casual 10 years later for me smile

BeccaBrkr7 Fri 27-Dec-13 17:44:50

My DD just turned 3 and I have just found out I'm pregnant with #2!! Feel ready to do the whole pregnancy and newborn thing again! Plus DD will be nearly 4 by the time this one is born so she will be starting school!! Time has just flown by!!

cravingcake Fri 27-Dec-13 17:44:58

I'm 35+5 with DC2 and dont feel ready. DS was 2 in October so there will be 2 years 3 months between them.

I had a horrific labour & birth with DS and ended up with a 4th degree tear (& forceps, shoulder dystocia, post-partum hemorage, pnd & ptsd). The only thing that has made the thought of going through it again is that i dont have to, i have an elcs booked for just over 3 weeks time. Otherwise i dont think i'd ever be mentally able to go through 'natural' birth again.

Its a very personal decision and for us we wanted our children close together so they grow up doing similar activities.

TheCrumpetQueen Fri 27-Dec-13 17:59:54

Sorry to those who had difficult first births. I wasn't expecting it to be so bad tbh. I keep saying to myself that second time around is easier although I know this isn't always the case I wish I wasn't so scared for next time sad

Thank you theborrower smile I always wanted a family with siblings as I loved having them so much myself and want my ds to have that so guess ill just have to get through it!

Congrats Becca smile

I just want to be pregnant, skip the birth and have a squishy newborn smile

dimdommilpot Fri 27-Dec-13 19:11:06

Between DD been 3months and 2yr i wanted another, we didnt try as we wanted a 3yr+ gap. The next 9months almost put me off due to the tantrums but we gave it a shot when DD was 2.9yr. She will be 3.6yr when No2 arrives in 3months.

stopgap Fri 27-Dec-13 20:32:08

DS2 will be born in a few weeks, with 2.5 years between my boys. I waited until horrendous colic was a distant memory, and my postpartum Hashimoto's was stable, but I was 35 and figured it would take a while (it didn't--just two months).

We were talking about it before we left the delivery suite with no.1 blush. I did wait until she was 12 months before TTC, we ended up with 2yrs3months between 1 and 2. For number 3 we waited a bit longer as I had work issues (potential redundancy - which didn't happen) but then there was 2yrs9months between 2 and 3. There is exactly 5 years (within 3 days) between top and bottom. I had easy conception, pregnancy and births though...

Nellieknickers Fri 27-Dec-13 21:37:18

I didn't even have a chance to consider it, had a 'happy' accident and DD2 is due in three weeks, DD1 is 18 months.....quietly shitty myself!! When I didn't realise I was pregnant again, was enjoying having my life and body back so maybe would have waited till DD1 was 2.5yrs.

Notfastmainlyfurious Fri 27-Dec-13 21:52:57

A lovely 23 yrs between dd1 and dd2, dc3 due in the summer and there'll be 2.3 years between the little one's. I m not ready in the slightest but the clock was ticking so it was now or never. I have no idea how we're going to manage.

i had a monstrous birth (induction, nearly killed me when blood pressure crashed after epidural, 3rd degree tears AND episiostomy plus forceps delivery in theatre after LOOONG labour)

i cant say i have EVER felt ready again and my sex life never really recovered. however, we wanted another child and i knew i couldnt let the awful experience define our family so im now 35 weeks with number 2; number 1 will be 2 yrs 5 months.

feel scared of dying in labour but going to a different hospital (that isnt an utter shithole).

i had a monstrous birth (induction, nearly killed me when blood pressure crashed after epidural, 3rd degree tears AND episiostomy plus forceps delivery in theatre after LOOONG labour)

i cant say i have EVER felt ready again and my sex life never really recovered. however, we wanted another child and i knew i couldnt let the awful experience define our family so im now 35 weeks with number 2; number 1 will be 2 yrs 5 months.

feel scared of dying in labour but going to a different hospital (that isnt an utter shithole).

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