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Tips for early pregnancy anxiety?

(38 Posts)
VJONES1985 Wed 18-Dec-13 08:21:35

Right, I'm five weeks pg and wake up every day thinking I've had a missed mc. I don't know why,I have no reason for this. Some days my symptoms seem to ease, which worries me again.

I have been quite shocked since finding out I was pg. We are over the moon and this is all I've ever wanted but I haven't had a chance to sit down and take it all in properly. Sometimes I just need a cry but I have such a hectic worklife that I just get home in the evenings and sleep.

What can I do to stop feeling like this? I want to enjoy my pregnancy.

Julietee Wed 18-Dec-13 08:22:30

My tip is: Read the book 'Expecting Better' by Emily Oster. Real anxiety buster for me.

lizziekal Wed 18-Dec-13 08:34:43

I'm 23 weeks and still having a hard time 'taking it in' and ,yes, I am still terrified of something going wrong (14 years of trying, 4 IUIs, 7 IVFs, 4 miscarriages (2 of which were MMC), and this is a surprise natural pregnancy). The anxiety does lessen a little when you hit some of the milestones -seeing the heartbeat for the first time, your 12 week and 20 week scans- but there is always something new to worry about. The only thing which I find has helped is not really allowing myself to think about the future but living each day as it comes. Every day that I make it through to bed time and I'm still pregnant, I see as a small achievement. Just be kind to yourself -listen to your body about its need for food and sleep but do try to keep living life as normally as you can. xxx

VJONES1985 Wed 18-Dec-13 08:41:43

Ooh, I've heard of that book but didn't realise ot was that good :-)

VJONES1985 Wed 18-Dec-13 08:53:19

Lizzie - I think taking each day as it comes is the beat approach for me and to not feel forced into feeling a certain way.

VJONES1985 Wed 18-Dec-13 09:01:55

Plus, I have an early scan next week (5+6) and it may be too early to pick up a heartbeat, which may not put me at ease!

lizziekal Wed 18-Dec-13 09:29:04

5+6 is early if you're hoping to see a heartbeat- though it's perfectly possible you will, there's no guarantee. Could you not put it off for a week (or if you don't feel that you want to wait, are you okay with the idea of having to repeat the scan after a week or so)?
I know that it's harder to arrange in the UK (I'm based in Italy where things are done differently) but if you could persuade your GP to check your HCG levels to make sure they are rising as they should, it might at least give you some indication that the pregnancy is progressing in the right direction.
xx

VJONES1985 Wed 18-Dec-13 09:43:42

I don't mind the scan being repeated soon, the early scan is because I have type one diabetes and one is usually carried out at about six weeks, apparently. I presume bloods will be taken as part of this check if not, I think that's a good suggestion and may well ask for that to be done.

lizziekal Wed 18-Dec-13 09:54:08

In which case...Good Luck!

Casmama Wed 18-Dec-13 10:01:05

Try not to expect to see a heartbeat because not seeing one won't mean anything at that stage.
I agree with the book recommendation above.

Remember a bit of anxiety is normal but women have healthy babies every day - why shouldn't you?

I am 10 +5 today and certainly feel less worried as the time goes on, hope you will too.

VJONES1985 Wed 18-Dec-13 10:41:24

Thank you casmama; that means a lot.

VJONES1985 Wed 18-Dec-13 18:45:08

Just did a Clearblue conception indicator and it confirms that I conceived when I think I did so that makes me happier about the progress of the pregnancy.

WaitingForMe Wed 18-Dec-13 18:58:16

Join one of the MN antenatal threads. Mine was full of anxiety offloading. I also bought Your Baby Week by Week and used to look at the pictures and visualise the baby doing everything it needed. Finally, I confided in DH and every night he used to kiss my belly and whisper 'hold on tight.'

VJONES1985 Wed 18-Dec-13 19:00:15

Y dh wouldn't do that unfortunately but I will check out the antenatal boards definitely. Thanks.

Smithy007 Wed 18-Dec-13 19:10:44

To be totally honest (and a bit of a Debbie Downer), the best thing for me was to stay away from any pregnancy forums and only have a peek or two from time to time. Just relax as much as you possibly can, try to treat yourself if possible and take things a day at a time.

I think my happiest pregnancy was with my first back in 2005, when I had very limited access to the internet and was totally ignorant. I'm now on my third and with all the horror stories floating around online, I feel like the more I know the more I have to fear. I agree with positive thinking - most women have uncomplicated pregnancies and healthy babies. My father for example is one of 8!

VJONES1985 Wed 18-Dec-13 19:16:55

I know you're right about ignoring the internet and horror stories. I do find you ladies supportive but the month I stopped coming on MN was the month I conceived - because I actually relaxed and stopped freaking out about what might happen. So PMA and blissful ignorance it is!

FirstUpBestDressed Wed 18-Dec-13 19:21:38

Congratulations!

1) Stay off the internet!

2) Use a website called www.llttf.com (living life to the full) every day.

All going well you will be a new mum to a lovely wee baby...with lots to worry about, unless you learn how to think more positively!

Good luck

VJONES1985 Fri 20-Dec-13 13:02:54

So... have my early scan on Monday when I will be 5w6d. Am doing quite well on the positivity front but can't stop freaking out about this. I'm a bit excited but very nervous about bad news. Am praying it will be fine.

DorotheaHomeAlone Sat 21-Dec-13 14:42:10

I understand why you're feeling tense VJ. I'm 8+4 and had my first scan yesterday (private because we wanted to relax and tell family over Christmas). I was an anxious mess in the days before which is very out of character for me. Thankfully all was fine and I do feel a bit better but not entirely chilled! Amazing to see the heartbeat though. Good luck. It's much more likely that everything is fine than not but it's hard to remember that when it's you.

VJONES1985 Sat 21-Dec-13 14:45:34

Thanks, Dorothea, and congrats! Am a bit sad that it may well be too early to see a heartbeat for me on Monday but I hope just having the scan will relax me.

Mmolly2013 Sat 21-Dec-13 17:28:21

Im 5+4 and i will not be able to wait 12 weeks so was thinking of a private scan so i an tell few close people is it good

VJONES1985 Sat 21-Dec-13 17:35:30

Mmolly - I'm also 5+4 today :-)

HandragsNGladbags Sat 21-Dec-13 17:35:34

Just a couple of things - do you suffer from anxiety generally? If you do it is worth speaking to your midwife to see if they can give you a referral to a mental health midwife. I have been on anti d's for all three pregnancies due to anxiety - this is an existing condition and not caused by the babies.

Secondly, if you are anxious a scan won't help. By the time you get home you will be worried if something has happened since the scan. It is a self perpetuating cycle. That is why it is important to try and find a way to lessen the anxiety. It won't go away, and trust me when the baby is born there are a whole host of other things to worry about!

I'm not trying to be negative, only I have been there, and getting some help for the underlying cause really helps. (hugs)

VJONES1985 Sat 21-Dec-13 17:40:30

Thank you :-) The early scan is being done because I'm T1 diabetic so it's something my midwife has arranged.

I don't suffer from anxiety but have always been a big worrier so not sure if this has been worsened by pregnancy or not.

HandragsNGladbags Sat 21-Dec-13 17:42:40

Ah I see! In which case you will be under fairly close care anyway? Still worth having a chat about your worries with someone, see if there is anything they can do to reassure you.

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